Green-Eyed, Jealous much? Options

[Listelle]

My boyfriend is the nicest guy ever, really. With that said, I can tell you that his two best friends are, and the majority of his social circle consist of, his ex-girlfriends (he was a bit of a whore in high school). If he's not with me, he's probably with one of them. Lately, it's been bothering me a bit. I know most of the girls and a one or two I consider close friends but still, I have moments of complete jealously that are, for the most part, unjustifiable. I've mentioned it a couple times to him in passing how I felt about two of the girls, but somehow it ended up as a joke we laughed over. The two girls I've mentioned made passes at him while knowing we were together. One even dared to go as far as to kiss him on the cheek on V-Day.

And it's not that I don't trust him or am really worried that the girls will try anything more. It's just with the school year coming up and me having to work now, there's less time to hang out with him. I'm afraid that I'm just going to grow even more jealous as time goes on and evetually ruin a really good relationship (20 months tomorrow!).

So.. Have you ever been jealous to the point of insanity in a relationship? How did you handle it? And how would you tell him how you feel without seeming controlling and neurotic? Advice and stories of your own would be lovely

Sorry for so long of a post. This is actually the short, watered down version of the situation. The more intense story lives here, with the password Tiger Lily if you're interested.

[*Uronacid*]

Hmmmm, really the source or your jealousy seems to stem from these two girls who are consistantly ravaging over your boyfriend... well, um... You need to talk to my girlfriend, Hollyann... I'm that nice social guy that many girls get along with too... I'm also friends with my ex's especially one of them named grace. I even spend the night at her house, consistantly... I guess that situation might be slightly different in your case, but for a while Holly really worried about grace. I think that in the end it was me not changing my feelings towards her, and me reassuring her that me and grace were not an item that helped her out... I'm not entirely sure though... You realy need to talk to Holly... You will see her in the myspace forums mostly as she is a staff member for that section... ;)

[*This Confession*]

Okay well I'm Hollyann.

haha.

Well I read the lovely short version of your problem, I may go read the longer version in a minute. If your so jealous though why not just sit down somewhere, where its only you two. and have a serious conversation with him about it. I mean if his ex girlfriends are bothering you, maybe you should talk to them as well. Just make it clear that you don't dislike them and that you don't want to come off as rude but their really bothering you at times, and you really like the relationship your in and don't want anything bad to happen to it.

Oh, congrats for 20 months!

Have you ever been jealous to the point of insanity in a relationship?

Hmm, honestly I'm usually the person thats never really jealous. I'm pretty understanding I think. But like Josh [uronacid] said about Grace. I think thats only time that really hit me. It didn't really bring insanity to the relationship, because I hide things. But don't do that, its a bad thing to do. But he use to spend the night over at her house because hes pretty much family with them it seems, it didn't really bother me at first but then you find out Grace is jealous of the relationship and you just get this feeling that she likes him and etc. And thats when it only bothered me which may just be your problem perhaps. Maybe you have a feeling that your boyfriends ex may have feelings for him again and you don't want to lose him to someone else like that.

I don't exactly get jealous over peoples ex's. Because they've been in a relationship together already. But have you ever talked to your boyfriend about his ex girlfriends? Asked why they broke up and any other questions you may have. Maybe there was a good reason they broke up, they weren't really meant for each other or something else. And so there may not be any chance for a relationship with either of them again.

How did you handle it?

hmm, *think think think*
I think actually Josh brought it up, and then I kept saying nothing was wrong and so on, and eventually we talked about it. He reasured me that there wasen't anything and so on.

I suppose it worked because I'm jealous of her at all.
She just bothers me at times, but its her views on things and how she looks at things. I feel like she has some secret or something, but I don't really care. She dislikes me at the moment more than likely.


how would you tell him how you feel without seeming controlling and neurotic?

I don't think you'll sound controlling at all if you bring it up and talk about it. Just say your concerned about it and just talk about it calmly. And if he gets mad then you should ask him why hes getting mad because I don't see why he should.



I don't know if that helped at all
Any other questions you can ask in here or just PM me.
or I have aim - Holly Infinite




wow this was long