you know i wonder...., about family , culture differences etc etc. Options

[Mr. Slowjamz]

after taking a long shower i have been thinking alot , being the procrastinator i am , and being the over-analyzer and thinker and worry man i am . , i started getting a little dissapointed and saddened for no simple reason . my parents just took a weeks vacation to las vegas for some class reunion (they needed it with all the stress because of us ) , and im just here with my sister and my younger brother just lounging ourselves to the fullest i guess starting to set up a pool party , one must be saying that thats great and its awesome to have your parents away and you can do w/e you want ....but then i started to realize that they really needed it . i mean of course they needed to get away from us . but theres a bigger picture to that , they needed it to spent the time for only themselves . i feel as though it would be there last time together as a middle-aged couple spending the night , and then years will pass when they get older ,theyll retire , there days as an energetic driven couple will start to die down , there years of trying to help us and take care of us , will decrease , ...there exactly at that point in time . and they`ve worked so hard to get here , at this point working , immigrating here , changing lifestyles . it is crazy. i feel as though now that , its important to help them , its important to take care of them , and its time to be responsible as an adult . and honestly , im not getting any younger .


One must believe that when your totally independant you dont need them anymore . but when you start to realize it , they`ll be the closest to you , no matter what the outcome or situation , even on how much fights you`ve had , even on how much you disagree with them , even if you don`t get along with specific things helping to solve your problems even when you have your own family , they will always be there . thats how much dedication they put up with . and i respect that . and i already see it in my grandfather .


and i look at myself , "what the hell am i doing??! " why am i self indulging myself with such luxuries when my parents need it the most everyday . it makes feel ashamed when they`ve worked so hard ....and im enjoying myself being a young adult in my college years . but i guess thats important too , because its experience , right ? so now im stuck and conflicted with these 2 different cultures and lifestyles and how to live life . and im stuck . im just stuck . should i be expected of what my parents want or should i just live my life individually of how i want to live it ? , because that how most families live these days . age of indvidualism . or is it the family ?

now i feel as though i want to help them , no matter the outcome or situation it is , no matter HOW MUCH WE DISSAGREE and HOW MUCH WE FIGHT . I WANT to take care of them, and i WANT to share the oppurtunities i have and luxuries that i gained , with them , and I will keep sharing my riches and my life till the`ve spent there life pleasurably . i would do that for a mom who works double time and a father who had 2 heart-attacks and a bypass surgery . Starting NOW and i don`t care what type of what type of relationship we have , i want to help .

i also start look at other families , by the time there off to college they just leave there parents , who knows what type of relationships they have with them ...im talking about the typical average american placing there parents in a nursing home , and i`ve always had discussions with my mother and how its percieved to them to us . again , im STUCK & conflicted with these 2 different cultures , 2 different ways of life , and 2 different identitie s ( no wonder why its harder for the 1st generations of families who just came from a different country .) . and i CLEARLY see the distinction .

i`ve had discussion with my parents about this before , and we`ve always had disagreements, how they explain to me , its important to share the life with your family instead of wallowing it for yourself . but then i always lash back "well then how can i live my experience life so i can gain the knowledge and the understanding that i need? " but i do understand now , were BOTH right . That its important to live life so intentively and so intensively and to offer to what you gained to your older ones . i guess that the term of how " the circle of life " lol , no joke .


Now im just a bit curious , for all you guys out there, what do you think about this ? , what are your opinions based on this and how you would react ? When do you know that "Circle of Life" feeling is getting into you and that you should stop wasting time? or when you know your stuck between 2 different cultures ? because i know i feel it right now .


P.S. haha ...i`ve noticed that i`ve said too much, but i guess i`ve over-emphasized my feelings my feeling to you guys .

[Mr. Slowjamz]

umm im very curious about your guys opinion please please reply somone ..... o yea this should be moved to relationships

[Tribal J_Rome]

Hmmm....that was a good read.

I think you should live your life as an individual, make it what you want it because it's your life, not your parents. But that's not to say you disrespect them and try to cut away from your family. Of course everybody[or most people] will eventually move on with their lives. They'll go off to college, get married, have a family of their own, etc. But as long as you keep in contact, and keep a good and healthy relationship with your parents like you did when you lived with them or maybe even a better once since you won't be seeing them everyday, that's all that matters.

I have this reaaaaaally old cousin, he's 40 now I think, who works at a house and they take care of several old people. It's not exactly a retirement home, because it's a regular residential house in the neighborhood and they only have several old people. They do get paid by the government to take care of the families though and checks from some of the families. AAAANYWAYS, It's real sad what he tells me sometimes. Families dump their parents into retirement homes or ones like where he works and just completely forget about them. Sometimes, voluntarily forget about them. They pretty much die without anybody knowing or caring.

I couldn't imagine doing that to my parents, that's garbage.

And it's true about them needing the luxuries after all they've gone through and all the sacrifices they've put up. I guess that's why they make for all these family vacations and anniversaries and dates and stuff though it's not always enough. We'll be living that life soon enough.

[*krnxswat*]

I think you mistakened cB with your Xanga entry.

[*Kathleen*]

Hmmm....that was a good read.

I think you should live your life as an individual, make it what you want it because it's your life, not your parents. But that's not to say you disrespect them and try to cut away from your family.

AAAANYWAYS, It's real sad what he tells me sometimes. Families dump their parents into retirement homes or ones like where he works and just completely forget about them. Sometimes, voluntarily forget about them. They pretty much die without anybody knowing or caring.

And it's true about them needing the luxuries after all they've gone through and all the sacrifices they've put up. I guess that's why they make for all these family vacations and anniversaries and dates and stuff though it's not always enough. We'll be living that life soon enough.

Yeah I agree - I think there's an inbetween. I don't really feel like it's one or the other. I mean, your parents raised you so you can make your own decisions and live your life. Well, at least that's what they're supposed to do. To devote your entire being to them is sort of, well, pointless. Granted, I'm not saying throw them in a retirement home like Jerome here pointed out, but still... you can always come back to help out every once in awhile to get away from what ever or where ever life takes you. And about the luxuries thing - when I read that part of your post, I instantly thought about seeing old people in the NICEST cars. I swear. Three times out of five sweet ass cars you see, there's an old person driving it.

[Mr. Slowjamz]

I think you mistakened cB with your Xanga entry.

i honestly i hardly use min im not the type to write daily . thats i`ve felt as though .

[koreansaga510]

Hmmm....that was a good read.

I think you should live your life as an individual, make it what you want it because it's your life, not your parents. But that's not to say you disrespect them and try to cut away from your family. Of course everybody[or most people] will eventually move on with their lives. They'll go off to college, get married, have a family of their own, etc. But as long as you keep in contact, and keep a good and healthy relationship with your parents like you did when you lived with them or maybe even a better once since you won't be seeing them everyday, that's all that matters.

I have this reaaaaaally old cousin, he's 40 now I think, who works at a house and they take care of several old people. It's not exactly a retirement home, because it's a regular residential house in the neighborhood and they only have several old people. They do get paid by the government to take care of the families though and checks from some of the families. AAAANYWAYS, It's real sad what he tells me sometimes. Families dump their parents into retirement homes or ones like where he works and just completely forget about them. Sometimes, voluntarily forget about them. They pretty much die without anybody knowing or caring.

I couldn't imagine doing that to my parents, that's garbage.

And it's true about them needing the luxuries after all they've gone through and all the sacrifices they've put up. I guess that's why they make for all these family vacations and anniversaries and dates and stuff though it's not always enough. We'll be living that life soon enough.

I agree. I hate my parents though. But i would never dump them to a retirement home..

[demolished]

No. You're wrong.

You live in your own life. You are the God. You do whatever you want.


but dont forget, once you're out of college, it's your turn to appreciate them and support them. that's the time when parents need extra help and support ... as well as love.