My Boyfriend Is Moving?, To NYC when im in Hawaii. Options

[c4rL4]

[font=Arial]How am i supposed to feel?

What am i supposed to do?

Can anyone help me?

Why is this happening?

-______-;;

I moved from Oahu to Maui, and it changed everything.
I met a great guy who i could ever ask for and more.. And now he was to leave.
Its like... all falling apart.
Whyyy?
"/
Gahhhhhhhhh!
Help me?
Anyone?

[dahding]

calm down, ur only what, 14? it's not the end of the world.

either:

a. if u really care for him, keep it a long distance relationship.
b. end up being good friends instead and move on.
c. put ur relationship on hold, and wait for a longggg time.

and as for why this is happening, that's somewhat of a stupid question. why is this happening? cause for whatever reason, he's moving.

[emilyxxalexa]

Either break up with him if you don't want a long distance relationship and still keep in touch or don't break up with him and have a long distance relationship.

Pretty simple.
:]

[*This Confession*]

Could always go for the long distance relationship. Its a very big distance but if you really care about him or ever love him its a choice. You could also choose to have a break although most people don't like those and I don't see the point in them because what happens if someone finds someone better in that new place and you two are on a break which means they can be in a relationship with that person so there isn't any really big promise in ever getting back together and you'll have to distance your self if that happens. I mean you could always move on theres so many more people out there. But long distance isn't really bad.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/datingadvice/...ating_tips.html

long distance
I've posted this somewhere before..


Is there anything as romantic as the long distance relationship? Two lovers separated by elements beyond their control struggling to make their love survive...it makes most of us sigh or swoon.

What is your LDR based on? It is a simple question but it might demand a lot more thought that you think. Honestly, romance is a wonderful thing but common sense love is a lot more rewarding.

Lots of relationships become LDR’s when one person changes occupations, is transferred or is deployed (military). Often a solid base has been built by the couple. It makes it easier for both people in the relationship to cope with the time spent apart.

In newly formed relationships it is always good to evaluate where both individuals are heading. A relationship formed two months before the end of high school when one or both partners are going to a college far away might not be ideal. Don’t deny yourself the chance to develop the relationship, but take it slow, enjoy your time and don’t force yourself into anything.

If you find you and your partner headed into a LDR, then it is time to evaluate what you have, what you get and what you want from the relationship. It’s pointless to make promises you cannot or do not want to keep no matter how romantic. It is always better to honestly state whether you can or cannot last in an LDR.


Never Assume

Never assume your partner is thinking the same thing as you. LDRs are hard, time consuming and require a lot of selflessness. Some people are simply not ready for an LDR. It can be especially challenging when one is heading into a new environment filled with new faces, new challenges and new ideas that he or she must face alone.

Communication

Most relationship problems can be solved with effective communication. Before thinking about engaging in an LDR it is best to talk it over with your partner. You might be surprised to find he/she does not want what you want. In this case, you should do whatever feels right without compromising your reputation or yourself. All break-ups suck to an extent, pleading and begging with someone you feel strongly for (when he/she doesn’t feel the same) is ugly and unattractive. When you force someone to take pity on you and do something he/she doesn’t want to, you set yourself up for disaster.

Types of LDRs

Any LDR can be broken down into one of three types: dating, remaining faithful and seeing what happens.


Dating
Those dating are the ones closest to or in love. They have built a strong foundation for their relationship and are committed to each other. These are couples who have decided to continue dating in spite of the hardships ahead. Neither person in this LDR has any desire to cheat or pursue anyone outside of the relationship. They engage each other at a distance with letters, flowers, e-mails and calls. They don’t necessarily talk for hours on end but they are always in touch.

For dating couples, physical needs are secondary to the emotional development of their relationship. When they have time together they use it to truly be with each other. While they do get horny, dating couples are equally anxious to show off their mate and engage in “couple” things (movies, coffee and watching TV).

Dating couples have a plan. The plan may not include marriage, but they have a basic idea of what is going to happen between them. They talk about the future together and how each might fit into the other’s world.

Remaining Faithful

Remaining faithful does not imply anything beyond those words. Not dating anyone else does not mean that the desire to does not exist. For these couples, the emphasis is on being faithful and regularly checking in as there is little else to go on.

For these couples, physicality is a priority when they can get it. This is partly due to a greater need to possess and a greater fear of being alone. Physically, they need to engage whether both parties are full of desire or not.

When apart, members of Remaining Faithful Couples either avoid social situations where he or she could meet someone else for fear of, “losing control.” He or she might think, “my partner will never know if I just. . .” Remember, when a relationship is based on, “not being alone,” and then put to a distance test, it can be shattered once loneliness enters the picture.

Seeing What Happens

I, myself, never understood the, “seeing what happens,” idea. I believe everyone knows if they care to take an honest look at something. Trust me, you know.

The, “seeing what happens,” LDR is doomed unless the couple makes something happen. This is almost the same as keeping someone on the side until someone better comes along. It’s a lowly place to be and a lowly place to keep someone.

Remember, datable people will be at arms length pretty much wherever you go. There is no reason to hold onto someone who is not at arms length if you don’t intend to make a commitment. Most of these couples have little interest or respect for each other. They might have had some good times, but those have mostly fizzled. They are lonely and grasping onto something that is about to go far away while everything else around them changes too.

Physicality for these couples can be all that exists between them. A person who has lost their virginity to someone might feel the need to keep with him or her long after the passion has died down in order to, “see what happens”. Often those waiting to see what may happen are waiting for a better offer. Not all, “see what happens,” end badly. Some couples can decide to break it off and pick it up at another time. There is a good chance a friendship can be formed. It’s best to talk about these things so neither party agonizes over what is and what is not allowed. Some of these relationships end with the couple realizing they want to be faithful or date.

[b]Wrap Up [b]

LDRs require certain type of people. There is nothing wrong with admitting you cannot handle being away from your partner for long periods of time. Always remember that you are a perfectly functioning person and do not need another person to make you whole. It is always better to risk or face rejection than to live in or cause regret.

Live in the here and now with your partner. Talk to your partner and remember that it is easier to end the relationship nicely than to find yourself being lied to and cheated on while missing out on great opportunities. The true test of love is to let it go, if it’s meant to be, it will come back to you.

written by : Amanda K.

[Skyline Drive]

I don't see any reason for you to keep this a long distance relationship if he is never coming back. You are young and chances are this is not the boy you will marry so enjoy him while you have him and break it off before he leaves. It's the best thing to do for the both of you.

[PrincessAda]

If you trust him..stay.If you don`t..then well yeah you know the rest.

[pinacoolada]

I think long distant relationships require a lot of trust and patience..if you're ready to pursue something like that, then go for it.
But if you aren't, then move on and if you guys are really meant to be, you'll meet him somewhere in the future