MY PARENTS.. BREAKING UP?!, please help me!!!! Options

[glitter_jazz09]

Tonight wasn't the first time my mom told us that one day she'll leave us for good. Ever since I was 11, I've already heard her saying how her marriage with my dad is doomed. I've tried telling myself over and over for years that its practically impossible for my parents to split up. My mom used to say that it was nothing to worry about now, because she won't be leaving us until all 3 of us kids are grown up. My older bro's 19, I'm 15 && my lil` brother's 11, sure.. my lil` brother's still young; but what the heck does that matter? I'm not going to count the years until my lil` brother comes of age! I JUST WANT THINGS BETWEEN MY PARENTS TO BE GREAT like it was before life got complicated! I know loads of people who's parents are seperated, and I somehow know how it feels like and how it affects a person. And I really, really don't want that to happen to us. The only comfort zone I have now is knowing that my dad won't allow her to end their marriage, but.. what if he grows tired of it too? I know they're really different in many ways, that fact is smething undeniable even to me. But there's gotta be some solution.. coz even the worst situations have a solution! I can't think of how life would be with seperated parents!!! From where I come from, seperate parents are a BIG THING. When people find out, they just go "tsk tsk" and immediately stereotype the whole family. When my lil` brother and I confronted our mom telling her how it'd affect us if ever she'd push through with her "little idea" (no! its not little.. NOT AT ALL), she told us that she rather leave us kids, than for her to grow old miserable. I understand that it'd be selfish if we try convincing her to stay just for our sake. I mean, if I were in her shoes.. I'd probably think likewise.

I really don't know what to do anymore! A few yrs back, when I'd hear statements like these frm my mom, I would cry my eyes out. But now? Sure, it still hurts like sht, and I've somehow understood more about their marriage through the years.. but I really can't imagine what life would be! How everything would change. I hate change, especially these kinds!


what should I do? and how do I cope with all these things that happen.. OFTEN? My mom says that there has never been a day they didn't argue. I don't know what to do, I feel lost.

[Heartless Hero]

wow. sorry this is a real tough situation, i mean theres nothing you can really do about it.

either way, it doesnt stop you from telling them the truthon how you feel about it. i know its hard, i cant even imagine how it must feel, but if your parents arent in love with one another you cant realy expect them to be together that way. its just not right you know?

im sure your at an age in which if they did seperate you'd be fine. i doubt they want anything but the best for you.

as for now, ill keep my fingers crossed for you =/

<3

[glitter_jazz09]

Lots of thanks =) i can't really smile right now. I just think things are escalating as time passes. Just now, my parents argued again! its non-stop. My dad can't believe my mom told my 10 yr. old brother about her ideas of leaving the family. I understand what my brother feels, more so since he's like a "mommy's boy". My lil` brother's crying non-stop as well right now. My dad thinks it was wrong for my lil` brother to hear such as well.

[xMayleex]

This is very difficult for you and your family, I went through the same thing with my parents contemplating divorce. There's not really much you can do .. though people will disagree with me, when someone is unhappy in a relationship they feel they need to escape from it.

You'll still have a mother and father .. even though they won't be together if your parents do divorce, at least that won't change. It's really up to your parents to 'fix' their marriage. Your mother probably doesn't want to hurt you with the things she says, but perhaps she wants you to understand her situation.

If I was in your position, I would tell my parents how I feel. Just don't keep your feelings inside, it's best to let them go. It will make you worse if you bottle them up, just tell a friend or someone you can trust about it.

I hope I've helped you in some way.

[*This Confession*]

I really agree with xmayleex

go tell someone you trust about it
My parents are going through their second split up. [I'm rather happy about it though] Really you can't do anything about it because if you try talking them out of it then it may just cause problems because my mom believes that me and my sister did that and she got all mad at us and blamed us for ever coming back to my dad. Although I really didn't want her to come back and I avoided my parents for 3 months or so when she did come back.

Its up to your parents if they want to go through conciling or some kind of support/help for their relationship. I have to look at it that not everyone is meant to be. You can believe it all you want but sometimes its not going to work and people get so caught up into their feelings that are blind to the actual heart and go for what they want only to regret it. [I'm not saying your parents regret having kids or anything, don't take it out of context.]

Anyway go talk to someone get it off your chest. You'll eventually move on and get over it. It does take a lot of time and patience is a good thing. Although anyway I think you should get advice from someone else besides me.
good luck.
Its life..
your going to go through hard time and bad ones of course to.
You go to your favorite place one that makes you complete, something you love to look at like the ocean or the sky and you get over it and move on.

[blurrr]

i went thru the same thing ....definitely talk to ur mom...let her know how it makes u feel...it may not change her idea but its good to have ur feelings known. also maybe its a good that they ur parents are splitting up...it could be better for both of them. also...talk to your bros abt it....there the only two people right now going thru ur EXACT SAME situation...its like i know i have my sis n bro here experiencing exactley was im experiencing..ya no?

[iminlovewithTomD...]

i cant say that i have the same problem, but it must hurt really bad :'( but i would say that if they DO break up, that you should see a counselor until you've established security. I have a friend whose parents are divorced, and she's all light and happy all the time, so i asked her how she could be so happy when something so horrible happened to her, and she told me that it doesnt hurt after a while, and that you learn to live with it.

maybe there's not much you can do (besides see a counselor) except accept it. i know that's asking a lot, and it's probably gonna hurt really bad, but eventually you'll overcome it. and when you overcome something that immensely huge, you're an all around stronger, and maybe even BETTER person. so just hang in there, and it should be fine.

[PrincessAda]

You should talk it out.Tell your mom and stuff how you feel.

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

do not ever feel bad that your asking your mom to stay with you because that is her job and she is never suppose to leave your side so dont feel selfish by asking her to stay...what i would do is get your mom and dad and all your bros and sis and talk together as a family with no arguments. (dont bring your lil 11 year old brother tho because he' s to small to hear these kind of things) if things dont work out it wasnt your fault..but really tell your parents to stop being selfish and only thinkin about themselves tell them to think a moment and think about what you guys are going through how much this situation is affecting you. Im sorry i have to tell you this but your mom is really mean when she tells you these things at such an early age.. im really sorry you had to suffer through that

[marzipan]

i'm really sorry for you. but you can't really fix a relationship if both of your parents don't love each other, so the best thing you can do is tell them how you feel, or talk to a relative or close friend. it's not good to keep all of those emotions inside of you.

i really hope things work out for you. good luck!