stopping..., doing that stuff... Options

[oOKittyKatOo]

hi.. i feel that my boyfriend and i are getting wayyYY too physical.. almost everytime we're at each other's house we end up doing that kinda stuff.. fingering.. BJ.. you get the picture.. so yea... i want to stop.. but i.. er.. cant.. coz yea.. bad will power?

ive talked to him about it.. and we both agree... but when the time comes.. both of us dont seem to follow what we said before.. so yea... in a couple months we're both going to the same university.. living in residence... and im scared as hell that we might actually.. have sex or what not..

i know a way i can stop this is stop going to each others' house.. or going out wiht a bunch of people.. but i was wondering if you had any ideas on how i can stop doing that kind of stuff but still spend some alone time with him.. ive read numerous sites about hwo good chastity is and stuff.. but yea...

any thoughts, ideas, or opinions?


thanks

[*xcaitlinx*]

i don't think there's necessarily anything you can do...you both have to learn to have some self-control.

i can understand where you're coming from because me and my boyfriend do things like that...but it's only once a week [when i go to his house on the weekend], so it's not excessive.

maybe you should go to eachother's houses less so that you won't be compelled to get physical..but i don't think that will solve anything. your relationship shouldn't be composed of just getting physical and you two should be able to hang out alone without feeling the need to do anything like that.

[magnificentmike]

What about hanging out in public places where that stuff won't happen. You can still have fun without doing that kind of stuff.

[Smoogrish]

Just tell him you think you're going too fast and that you don't feel comfortable with what you're doing. Simple as that- if he doesn't think so, he isn't really worth it.

[*I Shot JFK*]

can i just ask, why do you want to stop?

it all seems fairly enjoyable, really.

[*xcaitlinx*]

^ i'm assuming that you're joking around, but obviously she doesn't want her relationship to be based on just messing around all the time.

[SarahxJoy]

I think that being together in public places is a good idea. Although, even in public some people still tend to..*cough*, yeah. Just realize that when things are starting to get out of hand, you need to stop if it's what you two really want and divert your attention to something else.

[PrincessAda]

Whenever you guys start to do things..try to remind yourself to stop.I mean just remind every once in awhile when you guys are alone..to do other things.Like watch a movie or play a game or just talk.Try not to go phsyical.You can spend time with him..just remind yourself to not do things like that.

[*I Shot JFK*]

^ i'm assuming that you're joking around, but obviously she doesn't want her relationship to be based on just messing around all the time.

no, not really, iwasnt.

the physical aspect of a relationship is important too. if she isnt careful, she'll make it taboo, and things will fall apart anyway

[nikkkkki]

I think Mike's idea is good, but like someone said, it sometimes doesn't stop anything from happening. I don't really know if you can stop. It's great how you don't wanna just have a relationship based on physical terms though. Maybe you should both try to limit it. You can still do those things but maybe once a month? Week?

[Heartless Hero]

whoa. alright i didint read all of what you wrote, just the first part and let me just say:

its alright to be physical, i mean theres nothing truly wrong with it. but if be careful, cause guys can be horny and sometimes all they want can be sex. some of my friends can be real pricks so they just have sex and then ignore the girl completely.

just be careful with that.

and if thats not a problem well...try to talk. you can control yourself...

if you truly want to o.o

[iminlovewithTomD...]

i'd say hang out with him and one other close friend in person, and if you want alone time, just talk to him on the phone... and i know phone isnt exactly the same, but hey, i live 30 min. away from my best friend, so we only really get to talk on the phone and that doesn't change anything.

so yeah... PHONE = GOOD. :)

[glitter_jazz09]

Strongly put into ur mind the things that you know you should do. Another solution is by having strong self-control. Involving in other activities would also be nice! Limiting urselves from going to each other's house is unnecessary, as long as you don't do.. those stuff.

That's my two cents worth ;)

[magicfann]

theres nothing wrong with messing around....andie has had too much to drink, she doesnt want to talk about it though

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

If you truly wanted to stop, you'd have the will power to do so. Just make yourself stop before he starts unbuckling you or you start unbuckling him.