Advice Options

[Kontroll]

There have been three girls that I have liked in the last year pretty much.

The first girl was a wreck because I guess she had problems with her family. I didn't care. That wouldn't stop me from liking her. She drank all the time and smoked, which I can't stand because my dad died from it. I told her that she was messing up her life in various different ways. I wrote her poems and crap like that. At parties I would have to hover over her basically so she wouldn't cheat on her boyfriend. I slept next to her for the same reason. I loved her, but I couldn't do it because we just had different lives.

The second girl really pissed me off, because she told me she liked me and wanted to get married and whatnot. Then I find out she's going out with this guy that is thirty four years old. And it's her boss. A couple weeks go by and she tells me how much she hates him. I'm like, 'okay. Then break up with him.' Well, another few weeks go by and she told me they broke up. I was happy until she told me they were going back out. I was like, 'screw this bitch. I'm not going to just sit around and wait for you.' She was selfish, and very materialistic. I'm not.

Thirdly, and lastly. The last girl I love. She's great, but she drinks and smokes and sleeps with some guy that I don't feel even likes her. I told her that he's just using her. I said this from the things she told me about him. I've only met her four times in person, and I've liked her from the very beginning more than any other person. I get nervous when I think about her. It's crazy. I told her that she is wasting her life because of her drinking almost everyday and smokes. Like I said, I told her that my dad died from it. She tells me that it's her life to ruin and that she doesn't care.

The sad thing is, is that all three of the girls are Christians. Christians are suppost to have a high standard for life and here they are. All three of them, just throwing it away like it's trash. My friend Josh(Uronacid) asked me if I was attracted to girls because I think I can help them and change them. I don't know. Maybe. It's not like I know what they are like before I meet them, you know? I just don't know what to do. I'm really concerned for the third girl. I really like her and she said she liked me but she loves this kid. I don't know what to do.

Please, adivce. NEEDED REALLY BADLY. Yes, Josh, if you want to say anything, go ahead. I don't care. You've already heard all this before though. Peace.

[*This Confession*]

yea i was going to say what josh asked before i read it.

Do you only like them because you want to help them.

The third girl since you aparently only want to know stuff for what to do about with her..
since the other ones im guessing you don't much care for now.


You can't really talk to her since you have already, although it just seems weird that she still wants to smoke and drink? Have you asked what she recieves from doing it? Does it make her supposedly feel better about herself?

I mean if she is a christian then don't like prove to her shes doing something bad or something but ask her why she does stuff like that.. does she feel guilty?
or anyhting from it?

how long have you known the last girl as well?
unless you've only known her as long as the 4 times you've seen her in real life.

blah i can't finish this i got to go.

[PrincessAda]

Seems like you like them because you want to help change their lives.I think you should try talking to the 3rd girl more.If you really like her..try to go for a serious relationship.

[Kontroll]

Seems like you like them because you want to help change their lives.I think you should try talking to the 3rd girl more.If you really like her..try to go for a serious relationship.

She likes this kid and I told her I liked her. But she says she wants to stay with the guy. So, I really can't start a serious relationship, though that would be awsome.


As for Holly's post, I haven't asked her why she does it. Its just going to be awkward when I do, and it's just going to be hard to find a time. Should I just bring it up right away?

[*Uronacid*]

Dude, well... becuase i personally know the 3rd girl. Just be friends with her, shes the type of girl who is easily influenced by the invironment around her. Just like anyone else, she just wants to be accepted. problem is that she will do jsut about anything to get accepted, and that is not cool...
Hang out with her alot. I guarentee she will begin to want to be more like you. Seriously, thats what you have to do. Talk to her 1 on 1 about everything. Telll her how what she does makes you feel. It will really leave an impression. I used to hang out with her all the time. For a while she cleaned up her act, but then i stoped careing because she made a mistake with some guy named dave and she started having sex again. It ruined everything I showed her... she has this pattern in her life... its like this consistant wave of ups and downs... when she hangs out with people that have a high moral standard she wants to be more like them, and when she hangs out with people of a low moral standard she winds up doning the wrong thing... keep encouraging her to do the right thing. and leave a good impression on her life.

When you respect and hang out/spend alot of time with people then you will want to be more like them, and if they respect you they will want to be more like you. Eventually you will both reach a median in your relationship where you both accept eachother for what you have shown the eachother about yourselves and influence eachother to do things and become more like eachother.
This is why the saying, "If you want to be a winner hang out with winners... If you want to be a looser hang out with loosers..." is so true... :/

[Kontroll]

Thanks. That made a lot of sense. I'm not being sarcastic either. You know me, I'm not really the most social person in the world. I am going to her house to watch a movie today, so I guess I can continue the quest today, eh? Haha. I'll see what I can do.

Okay another big problem I have is just talking. Josh you are crazy at it. You can say anything and it doesn't even have to be relevant to the conversation. How do I respond back to people, without saying just 'Yeah.' 'Really?' Haha. You know? This is open to everyone. I need to develop my skillz.

[*This Confession*]

hold on
whats the girls name?
[ i probably shouldn't ask this]