I'm stuck in a past relationship../, someone help me? Options

[nox3apologiesz]

so October 9th, 2004 I began going out with this boy Joe.. we were on again/off again for about 6 months. he was practically my first boyfriend because he was my first kiss [excluding the time I was molested]. I was soo happy with him, like incredible amounts. once we started school this year, I found out we had the same lunch period & some how we managed sitting like a table away from each other. I used to try & give him hugs because I still had feelings for him but he'd run away [how rude *pouts* lol]. anywho, he moved a few towns away not too long ago & I've been talking to him online lately. I think I've gone mad; I can't stop thinking about him at all. he's got a girlfriend now but he doesn't really like her, or so he says. I asked him if he'd want to have a distant relationship, which I absolutely HATE doing because I never know if I can trust the guy or not, but with him I'm willing to do whatever it takes because I love him. somebody help me please; I'm so confused. I can't tell if it's a trick or not.

[*krnxswat*]

Nah, it's not love. Get over it. Move on.

[Paradox of Life]

Keep in touch with him as a friend. He has a girlfriend. Even if he says he doesn't like her, there's something that got him to ask her out. He's moved on. Don't beg or seem like you're desperate to have him back (which is what seems like you're doing now). Meet other guys, hang out with your friends, do other stuff. Don't concentrate on him. Eventually, you'll begin to move on too. You just have to accept that (especially because you are far apart) there is little hope for a relationship.

[*This Confession*]

well
if you really need to find out what you want in a relationship.
figure out if hes really what you want.

Also you really need to talk to him about it.

and if you do choose to be in a distant thing
make sure your even ready for it.


Never Assume

Never assume your partner is thinking the same thing as you. LDRs are hard, time consuming and require a lot of selflessness. Some people are simply not ready for an LDR. It can be especially challenging when one is heading into a new environment filled with new faces, new challenges and new ideas that he or she must face alone.

Communication

Most relationship problems can be solved with effective communication. Before thinking about engaging in an LDR it is best to talk it over with your partner. You might be surprised to find he/she does not want what you want. In this case, you should do whatever feels right without compromising your reputation or yourself. All break-ups suck to an extent, pleading and begging with someone you feel strongly for (when he/she doesn’t feel the same) is ugly and unattractive. When you force someone to take pity on you and do something he/she doesn’t want to, you set yourself up for disaster.

Types of LDRs

Any LDR can be broken down into one of three types: dating, remaining faithful and seeing what happens.


Dating
Those dating are the ones closest to or in love. They have built a strong foundation for their relationship and are committed to each other. These are couples who have decided to continue dating in spite of the hardships ahead. Neither person in this LDR has any desire to cheat or pursue anyone outside of the relationship. They engage each other at a distance with letters, flowers, e-mails and calls. They don’t necessarily talk for hours on end but they are always in touch.

For dating couples, physical needs are secondary to the emotional development of their relationship. When they have time together they use it to truly be with each other. While they do get horny, dating couples are equally anxious to show off their mate and engage in “couple” things (movies, coffee and watching TV).

Dating couples have a plan. The plan may not include marriage, but they have a basic idea of what is going to happen between them. They talk about the future together and how each might fit into the other’s world.

Remaining Faithful

Remaining faithful does not imply anything beyond those words. Not dating anyone else does not mean that the desire to does not exist. For these couples, the emphasis is on being faithful and regularly checking in as there is little else to go on.

For these couples, physicality is a priority when they can get it. This is partly due to a greater need to possess and a greater fear of being alone. Physically, they need to engage whether both parties are full of desire or not.

When apart, members of Remaining Faithful Couples either avoid social situations where he or she could meet someone else for fear of, “losing control.” He or she might think, “my partner will never know if I just. . .” Remember, when a relationship is based on, “not being alone,” and then put to a distance test, it can be shattered once loneliness enters the picture.

Seeing What Happens

I, myself, never understood the, “seeing what happens,” idea. I believe everyone knows if they care to take an honest look at something. Trust me, you know.

The, “seeing what happens,” LDR is doomed unless the couple makes something happen. This is almost the same as keeping someone on the side until someone better comes along. It’s a lowly place to be and a lowly place to keep someone.

Remember, datable people will be at arms length pretty much wherever you go. There is no reason to hold onto someone who is not at arms length if you don’t intend to make a commitment. Most of these couples have little interest or respect for each other. They might have had some good times, but those have mostly fizzled. They are lonely and grasping onto something that is about to go far away while everything else around them changes too.

Physicality for these couples can be all that exists between them. A person who has lost their virginity to someone might feel the need to keep with him or her long after the passion has died down in order to, “see what happens”. Often those waiting to see what may happen are waiting for a better offer. Not all, “see what happens,” end badly. Some couples can decide to break it off and pick it up at another time. There is a good chance a friendship can be formed. It’s best to talk about these things so neither party agonizes over what is and what is not allowed. Some of these relationships end with the couple realizing they want to be faithful or date.

Wrap Up

LDRs require certain type of people. There is nothing wrong with admitting you cannot handle being away from your partner for long periods of time. Always remember that you are a perfectly functioning person and do not need another person to make you whole. It is always better to risk or face rejection than to live in or cause regret.

Live in the here and now with your partner. Talk to your partner and remember that it is easier to end the relationship nicely than to find yourself being lied to and cheated on while missing out on great opportunities. The true test of love is to let it go, if it’s meant to be, it will come back to you.

[-sincerely]

^ that's a good/helpful post.

[PrincessAda]

I think you should move on.Its not worth your time.

[*krnxswat*]

^ that's a good/helpful post.

And yours isn't.

[*This Confession*]

^and then how was that?

[*krnxswat*]

^

I didn't said mine was.

[waccoon]

http://www.realsexedfacts.com/longdistancelove.htm