Why should anyone care?, a poem... |
 May 14 2006, 06:51 PM
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#1
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CB Owner/founder  Group: Member Posts: 118 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 225,448  |
I feel like I'm going to burst if I don't get this one out. It's a poem with no rhyming, rythm or beat to it, but it's meaningful.
Why should you fit in? Why do we all have to be the same? Cliques amuse me. They have no purpose. I don't understand why we have to single out those who don't dress a certain way, or look a certan way. Why should anyone care? What do other people's looks have to do with anybody but the person? Is there something I'm missing? Please clue me in, I'm so confused. This makes no sense. Our world is brutal. Society puts the burdon on us of looking good, being thin, having a perfect body, perfect face, perfect life. Nobody in the real world is truly how society wants them to be. Why should anyone care? Why should anyone f**king care? |
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May 15 2006, 03:10 PM
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#2
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 (Allison) Group: Human Posts: 420 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 395,668 |
Hm, I don't really see how that's a poem, more like a paragraph of thoughts...But I completely agree with you all the same.
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May 16 2006, 12:17 AM
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#3
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 I love Havasupai Group: Member Posts: 1,040 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 163,878 |
QUOTE(rubu1214 @ May 14 2006, 6:51 PM)  I feel like I'm going to burst if I don't get this one out. It's a poem with no rhyming, rythm or beat to it, but it's meaningful. Why should you fit in? Why do we all have to be the same? Cliques amuse me. They have no purpose. I don't understand why we have to single out those who don't dress a certain way, or look a certan way. Why should anyone care? What do other people's looks have to do with anybody but the person? Is there something I'm missing? Please clue me in, I'm so confused. This makes no sense. Our world is brutal. Society puts the burdon on us of looking good, being thin, having a perfect body, perfect face, perfect life. Nobody in the real world is truly how society wants them to be. Why should anyone care? Why should anyone f**king care? You've got several tense shifts in this paragraph that need to be addressed. The generalizations you use aren't valid, either. The paragraph is rambling and lacks focus. As a journal entry, it's ok. It needs a bit of editing and tightening. There are a few ideas in it that would serve as good topics with a rewrite. |
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May 16 2006, 07:35 AM
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#4
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Member Group: Member Posts: 21 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 394,558 |
I like it.
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