Full Moon Healing |
 Apr 26 2006, 06:48 PM
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#1
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 Koorime  Group: Member Posts: 153 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 237,135  |
Looking out the window
Up at the full moon My eyes darken As I think of you I can't help but think Of the terrible times I spent with you The pain, sorrow, and heartbreak Tears flow freely But my heart soars with hope As I realize as it's over You're gone But the pain still remains You've done the most damage And it hurts, badly I'm recovering My heart's mending carefully, Slowly, under the care Of the full moon |
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Apr 28 2006, 03:40 PM
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#2
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
That's a beautiful poem, but I think that this line
QUOTE But my heart soars with hope could have been placed somewhere else because you were generating a mood of sadness and despair, and it kind of stuck out.
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Apr 28 2006, 04:07 PM
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#3
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Koorime Group: Member Posts: 153 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 237,135 |
I thought that at the time too but I just kept writing and it sounded better where it was...It's more of an angst/hope poem that the girl's remembering all of the really bad times she had with her old boyfriend but she forgets that he's gone...
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