blonde jokes, ...you knew that was coming Options

[expoised]

post them blonde jokes... (haha... if you're blonde then... deal with it)

there was a blonde and a brunnete that were going on a roadtrip together. the brunnette realizes that she's forgotten something at home, and they both return to the brunette's house. the blonde waits outside in the yard while the brunette is in the house searching for what she's forgotten. during that time period, the brunette's car got stolen. the brunette comes back outside and is shocked to see her car gone. she turns to her friend, the blonde, and asks "did you see who stole my car? do you have a description of the person or anything?"

...the blonde smiles and nods, then says "i've got something better... i got the person's liscence plate number"


-a lotta people dun get it...but i thought it was pretty straight forward-

[*CEP*]

So a blonde was at the malli shopping when she saw this really nice TV. She went in and asked the cashier for the TV's price. The cashier replied, " Sorry, we don't sell to blondes. "
So the blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She returned to the store the next day and asked the cashier how much the TV cost. Once again, the cashier said, " Sorry, we don't sell to blondes. "
So again the Blonde dyed her hair, but now black. Again she returned to the store and asked how much the TV cost. And again she got the same reply.
So finally the blonde snapped and said, " Okay! I dyed my hair black! I'm not a blonde! "
The cashier looked at her and said, " And that's not a T.V. It's a Microwave. "

- Chinkieeyedpnoi

[juliar]

So theres a blonde in a car. She's swerving on a road. Left, right, left right. THere's a police car right behind her. She continues swerving. The policeman stops her and asks her why she was swerving. She said, "I saw a tree on the right so I swerved left, and then the tree was on the left so I turned right, and so on." There were no trees in the middle of the road. So the policeman searches her car for alcohol. None. He looks up and sees something. He gets out and says to the blonde, "Lady, that's your air freshener."

[rivendell]

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.


A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"

[Note]

haha...i seriously don't get anyone of these jokes. why am i laughing?

::jerry::

[xtremeliquid]

Those are pretty funny.

[faithin_felix]

hahahhhaa, dumb blondes..hilarous.

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back at her.

[*AngelicEyz00*]

haha, that was funny... what a stereotypical blond

[darkangel]

hahahhhaa, dumb blondes..hilarous.

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back at her.

haha im laughing so hard

[WhiteChocolate]

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

[faithin_felix]

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

i don't get it. explain it please, whats a scratch and sniff sticker? ohhh sniff sticker, but scratch?

[mai_z]

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

hehe omg these are hilarus!

i don't get it. explain it please, whats a scratch and sniff sticker? ohhh sniff sticker, but scratch

they're like sniff stickers, but the smell lasts longer cuz u gotta scratch them b4 u sniff them 2 release the smelli

[faithin_felix]

hehe omg these are hilarus!



they're like sniff stickers, but the smell lasts longer cuz u gotta scratch them b4 u sniff them 2 release the smelli

ohhh, hahahhaha, what a DUMB blonde.

[Sa-Chan]

*cries*

I hate being a blonde, even my boyfriend makes fun of me for it.


Yeah, here's my joke.

...You know you're blonde when you're own boyfriend says he's going blind by looking at your hair...

Oh my god, I'm making myself cry...

[lilaznkkid]

i like the micro wave one...everyones heard it and the more u hear it its funnier

[rOckThISshYt]

melissa,May 16 2004, 3:27 AM] post them blonde jokes... (haha... if you're blonde then... deal with it)

there was a blonde and a brunnete that were going on a roadtrip together. the brunnette realizes that she's forgotten something at home, and they both return to the brunette's house. the blonde waits outside in the yard while the brunette is in the house searching for what she's forgotten. during that time period, the brunette's car got stolen. the brunette comes back outside and is shocked to see her car gone. she turns to her friend, the blonde, and asks "did you see who stole my car? do you have a description of the person or anything?"

...the blonde smiles and nods, then says "i've got something better... i got the person's liscence plate number"


-a lotta people dun get it...but i thought it was pretty straight forward-

lol. i get it. as in she has the brunette's license plate number. lol. that obviously won't help the friend. lol. i like that.

[xislandxstylex]

there's a 3 blondes trapped on an island. they find a magic lamp and rub it. out pops a genie. he say that they'll each get one wish. The first blonde wishes to become a brunette. she makes a raft and sails home. the second blond wishes to become a redhead. she makes a fire and she gets rescued. the third blond wishes to be asain. she walks across the bridge.

-EDIT-
for those of u who don't get it. there's a bridge connecting the island to the mainland.

[XxKrNqTcUiTyxX]

there is a blonde, brunette and a red head stuck in the desert. they come across a magic lamp and each are granted one wish, the red head said "i wish i can be with my parents" and she was zapped home to her parents. the brunette said "i wish i can be with my boyfriend" and she was zapped to her boyfriend. the blonde was so happie that she exclaimed "i wish my friends were here!!!"

[angel-roh]

So a blonde was at the malli shopping when she saw this really nice TV. She went in and asked the cashier for the TV's price. The cashier replied, " Sorry, we don't sell to blondes. "
So the blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She returned to the store the next day and asked the cashier how much the TV cost. Once again, the cashier said, " Sorry, we don't sell to blondes. "
So again the Blonde dyed her hair, but now black. Again she returned to the store and asked how much the TV cost. And again she got the same reply.
So finally the blonde snapped and said, " Okay! I dyed my hair black! I'm not a blonde! "
The cashier looked at her and said, " And that's not a T.V. It's a Microwave. "

- Chinkieeyedpnoi

hahaha jose...urs i get...sry melissa.. i didnt get urs... hehe but newais jose urs was funny haha she said she dyed her hair black and that shes not a blonde hahaha wat a dummie she is hahaha!

[laur3nw]

there's a 3 blondes trapped on an island. they find a magic lamp and rub it. out pops a genie. he say that they'll each get one wish. The first blonde wishes to become a brunette. she makes a raft and sails home.  the second blond wishes to become a redhead. she makes a fire and she gets rescued. the third blond wishes to be asain. she walks across the bridge.

i dont get it...

[tinababy143]

hMmM..i get a couple of those..but i dont realli understand jokes haha..im the blondest brunette you'll ever meet

[GinaDaQueen]

Haha these are funny. SOme of them aren't though.

[LatinaLady]

ok i have some

A blonde saw a "¿" on her computer screen and asked another blonde,
"How do you do that?" She responded . . .
"Simple, turn the keyboard upside down!" 

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

last but not least...

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

except i dont get this one

[faithin_felix]

there's a 3 blondes trapped on an island. they find a magic lamp and rub it. out pops a genie. he say that they'll each get one wish. The first blonde wishes to become a brunette. she makes a raft and sails home. the second blond wishes to become a redhead. she makes a fire and she gets rescued. the third blond wishes to be asain. she walks across the bridge.

asians are smart... =) hahahaha, that was a good one.

[IIO__oII]

So theres a blonde in a car. She's swerving on a road. Left, right, left right. THere's a police car right behind her. She continues swerving. The policeman stops her and asks her why she was swerving. She said, "I saw a tree on the right so I swerved left, and then the tree was on the left so I turned right, and so on." There were no trees in the middle of the road. So the policeman searches her car for alcohol. None. He looks up and sees something. He gets out and says to the blonde, "Lady, that's your air freshener."

hahaahaha

jokeee---

theres a blond and her boyfriend walkin on the street.
the boyfriend says,"look! a dead bird!"
and the blond looks up...

hahahhahha

another one.....

theres this blond, brunette, and black haired girl. they steal this car and are running away frm the police. they all run into this barn and each of them hide in a potato sack. the police comes to the first sack which is hiding the black haired girl and kicks it. she bark. the police, thinking that it is a dog, moves onto the second potato sack, which has the brunette in it. he kicks it, and she says meoww. thinking that is is a cat, the police movies onto the third potato sack, which has the blond girl in it. he kicks it, and she says "potatoes potatoes!!"

hahhah the last one is hilarious!! =D

[01-supergirl]

*lmao* whadda good laugh =)

[mzteriouzme007]

so there's this blonde, right? and she walks into a barbershop wearing earphones. the barber says: " you have to take that off before i can cut your hair." the blonde says:" i can't .. just cut my hair" so the barber goes off to cut someone else's hair. When he comes back, the blonde has fallen asleep. So the barber takes off the earphones and starts cutting her hair. about 5 minutes later, he notices that she's really pale, so he listens to her heartbeat, but her heart had stopped beating! the barber calls the police, and they take her away, but they leave the earphones in the hair salon. so the barber picks it up, and listens to it. the tape read : "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out"
U get it? so the blonde is so stupid that she doesnn't know how to breathe...

[SarahxJoy]

I bet you guys already heard these but oh well..

**Girl walks into her friends room. She notices there are m&ms on her friend's bedspread and she asks her friend (who is blonde) what she's doing.**
Blonde: "I'm trying to alphabatize the m&ms."

There was this blonde who was going to Disneyland. She stopped when she saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left", and went home.

Yeah I know they're not good but oh well.

[inn0centmarianne]

hahahhhaa, dumb blondes..hilarous.

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back at her.

thats hilarious, I like laughing at these jokes, but sometimes they are too mean.

jessica simpson, LOL! chicken of the sea? buffalos dont have wings! wow, she cracks me up!

[ryfitaDF]

haha. dumb blonde.

ok. a smart blonde, frankenstein's monster, and dracula are walkin along and they see a hundred dollar bill. who licks it up first?

none. none of them exist!

[IIO__oII]

**Girl walks into her friends room. She notices there are m&ms on her friend's bedspread and she asks her friend (who is blonde) what she's doing.**
Blonde: "I'm trying to alphabatize the m&ms."

mmhmm theres one like that.
there was this blond that got kicked out of the M&M factory... u knoe y?
cause she kept throwing the chocolate pieces that had a "M" on it...
haha ;]

[Yemmerz]

I know one.

Q:How do you get a blonde to laugh on a Monday?
A: Tell her a joke on Friday.
I tell the worst jokes~

[MrTurtle]

okay this is an oldie but goodie.
9 blondes and a brunette are hanging on a rope from a cliff. They mutually decide that one of them has to sacrifice herself so the others can climb up safely. The brunette made a touching speech about she would sacrifice herself for the others. The nine blondes clapped.

[i ami_am]

LMAO!!! thats hilarious!!rarw !!!!!!!!! ROLF!

[glit_gal]

melissa,May 16 2004, 2:27 AM] post them blonde jokes... (haha... if you're blonde then... deal with it)

there was a blonde and a brunnete that were going on a roadtrip together. the brunnette realizes that she's forgotten something at home, and they both return to the brunette's house. the blonde waits outside in the yard while the brunette is in the house searching for what she's forgotten. during that time period, the brunette's car got stolen. the brunette comes back outside and is shocked to see her car gone. she turns to her friend, the blonde, and asks "did you see who stole my car? do you have a description of the person or anything?"

...the blonde smiles and nods, then says "i've got something better... i got the person's liscence plate number"


-a lotta people dun get it...but i thought it was pretty straight forward-

haha that's funny! i get it

[× JeNi ×]

oOo i kno one!! [sorrie if itz already been posted or you might have already heard it before :D]

my brother told me dis one...

there was a brunette standing in the middle of the streets. she kept saying "98, 98, 98" over and over and over again. then a blonde comes along and walks up to the brunette and asks her why she keeps saying "98". the brunette ignores her and continues saying "98, 98, 98". so the blonde goes, "oh wells, i`ll count with you!" so the blonde stands next to the brunette and together they keep saying "98, 98, 98". all of a sudden a truck drives up and the brunette runs away, leaving the blonde, who is still standing there counting. the truck hits the blonde and continues driving. the brunette goes back to the middle of the streets and starts saying, "99, 99, 99"..

[HolyMolyRavioli]

...I don't get the last one explain it to me?

[× JeNi ×]

she sed 98 before cuz 98 blondes came and did the same thing and got hit and died. the 99th blonde came.. counted with her.. and wen the truck came, stayed there and died. so she sez 99 cuz 99 blondes died. wen one more blonde comes and does the same thing, after the blonde gets hit the brunette will say 100.

i hope that explains it.. i hate explaining jokes xP it ruins it

[vivieeeen]

i get yours Melissa~
the license plate was the brunettes, which is not that important cuz she already knows her own

[jz1134]

q:how do u confuse a blond
a:put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner


q:how does a blond confuse you





a:she tells u she found the corner

[ji_cabinx]

ha ha...i had a good laugh

[Mini]

lol this is so funny.

[x AZN D0RKii x]

she sed 98 before cuz 98 blondes came and did the same thing and got hit and died. the 99th blonde came.. counted with her.. and wen the truck came, stayed there and died. so she sez 99 cuz 99 blondes died. wen one more blonde comes and does the same thing, after the blonde gets hit the brunette will say 100.

i hope that explains it.. i hate explaining jokes xP it ruins it

but why does the brunette have to count for ?

[uLoVeMikeRoch]

So a blonde was at the malli shopping when she saw this really nice TV. She went in and asked the cashier for the TV's price. The cashier replied, " Sorry, we don't sell to blondes. "
So the blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She returned to the store the next day and asked the cashier how much the TV cost. Once again, the cashier said, " Sorry, we don't sell to blondes. "
So again the Blonde dyed her hair, but now black. Again she returned to the store and asked how much the TV cost. And again she got the same reply.
So finally the blonde snapped and said, " Okay! I dyed my hair black! I'm not a blonde! "
The cashier looked at her and said, " And that's not a T.V. It's a Microwave. "

- Chinkieeyedpnoi

damn i was gonna post that one, ok sooo\

There are 7 blondes and 1 brunette on a high rope bridge thing,they are all holding the rope so they arent falling, (this is on a cliff or a high building) the brunette makes a speech adjacent off the thing (shes not on the rope thing) its about how if u elect ehr as presedent, she wont fail u, the blondes clap madly

[islandkiss]

lol

[*tyedyefroggy*]

ok i have some




last but not least...

except i dont get this one

I get that last one! thats pretty bad but hilarious!

all these jokes are really good, too bad its been like a month since the topic was made (or even longer) lol whooo

LaterZ

-Courtney

[POonSKi]

lolz!! OMG!! hehe.. i feel samrt,, cuz i got it**

[black_cloud10]

hehe go blonde jokez