some things i wrote, for my love |
 Mar 22 2006, 07:00 PM
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#1
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Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 388,175  |
how could you think she was better
i chose you im sorry it was hard to forget her four years and two you showed me the meaning of love thank you i even asked the man above he said it was true it was then i chose to forsake her on my grounds your feelings on pieces of paper i found it was you that i wanted always no other now crying is how i spend my days im smothered i'm sorry i just didnt see too late now its him your with not me just great im sorry for all the times you cried im sorry for all the the hurt inside i was mean i was inconsiderate im sorry for all the sleepless nights im sorry for all the late night fights i was immature i was stubborn im sorry for all the yelling loud im sorry for all the acting proud i was frustrated i was pigheaded im sorry for all the times i said no im sorry for all the times you couldn't go i was selfish i was childish how could i have been so blind? it was right there in front of me if only i would have taken the time to see what you wanted me to see If only i would have read the rhymes i would know how you wanted it to be For now i know what was in your mind and the tears flow to form a sea Why did i have to be so blind? for now i see things perfectly a love so pure a heart so fine but now its too late for me mistakes i've made these ties that bind i sit and wait patiently for the day when again you are mine i will pray endlessly How could I have been so blind? |
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Mar 22 2006, 07:28 PM
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#2
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victim of myspace.com Group: Member Posts: 395 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,435 |
I love this-
As you know, its a little lengthy, but you use powerful words like "blind" and "sleepless nights" and "forsake" to keep the reader reading. I admit that when I first looked at this poem, I thought, "Ugh, too long. I'm gonna find a shorter poem". I'm glad I eventually read this one though!! Its really awesome, great job. However, the use of the word "Blind" did get a little boring.. |
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Mar 22 2006, 08:30 PM
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#3
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 388,175 |
well it is actually 3 poems. and i only used it 3 times? thanks for the info though!
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Mar 22 2006, 08:54 PM
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#4
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victim of myspace.com Group: Member Posts: 395 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,435 |
Oh, sorry `bout that...I thought there was something fishy about all the spaces between the "stanzas"!!
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Mar 22 2006, 09:30 PM
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#5
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crumpled up old piece of paper scribble on me Group: Member Posts: 49 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,366 |
welll i loved them and thats all that matters rite richard? they were sweet... i gotta go! if you wirte more let me know
<3 britty |
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Mar 23 2006, 04:15 AM
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#6
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 388,175 |
of course brit you are the only thing that matters!
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Mar 23 2006, 04:21 AM
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#7
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crumpled up old piece of paper scribble on me Group: Member Posts: 49 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,366 |
well not anymore!
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Mar 23 2006, 05:44 PM
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#8
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 388,175 |
Just because you dont wanna be with me anymore doesnt mean you dont matter to me. I have loved you since the day we met and I always will. Nothing will change that.
here is another one.... its almost time to go. just pack up and hit the road leave this life behind end my place in time did i make an impact? was it good or bad? a life so sad a heart so blue its hurts to bad when loves not true shed my skin of scales and ales reborn anew to start new tales on my own but no longer alone this is the end is this the beginning? |
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Mar 23 2006, 06:14 PM
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#9
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victim of myspace.com Group: Member Posts: 395 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,435 |
^^^OOOooh....I like that one a LOT!
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Mar 23 2006, 06:25 PM
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#10
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 388,175 |
=)
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Mar 24 2006, 01:06 AM
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#11
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crumpled up old piece of paper scribble on me Group: Member Posts: 49 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,366 |
its good
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Mar 24 2006, 02:34 AM
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#12
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crumpled up old piece of paper scribble on me Group: Member Posts: 49 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,366 |
richard! i love you but this has got to stop here no more poems on here send them to me! i love you i do its just hard to understand why you want to show ur emotion to everyone out there! c'mon!
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Mar 26 2006, 10:18 PM
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#13
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 no news is good news... Group: Member Posts: 123 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 232,063 |
they were all good.
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