breaks.. Options

[EmmalieV]

My boyfriend asked for a break, he said he needs to clear up what he feels for me , He told me not to be sad that its just a rest from eachother for 1 -2 max. 3 weeks.


I remember I told my ex boyfriend that same thing and I didnt mean it , im just afraid hes just saying that to not exactly break up with me ..


But do breaks really work?

[*mzkandi*]

It hard to say if it can really work depending on the relationship. For some couples they really do need their space away from each other and they use that time to focus on themselves and things they have going on in their life. Then for some other couples breaks can lead to an actual offical break up in the relationship. Once on break they discover how much happier they are without that person or that they have an interest in other people. But you cant know for sure what your break will be like. But yes, they can work if both people believe in keeping the relationship alive.

[Nicolatofu]

^ Agreed with what Kiera said. Breaks give the couple a chance to re-evaluate their relationship. They may realize how much they really care for each other, or that their relationship isn't as strong as it used to be. I don't think you should worry about it; he could really just need to clear his head for a while.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

Some breaks work. I was listening to a morning show in the radio station, Z100 and they were discussing if breaks work. Many people called and said that their break was successful.

So maybe that helps keep your hopes up?


I mean, at least he's trying to keep the relationship instead of dumping you now and then regret it. He's thinking this through, give him time and don't worry too much. If he breaks up with you, it was bound to happen someday.

[silver-rain]

It really depends on the relationship. If you both really still like each other and want to work on the relationship, then after the break, you two will get back together. This break will give you both a chance to evaluate the relationship and your feelings for each other.
My boyfriend wanted to go on a break, but we managed to work things out.

[_sarcastic_]

if you guys had a strong relationship before the break then i'm sure it will work.

[alphanumeric]

It depends, do you guys still talk to each other? Breaks for me wouldn't work out, I'd instantly break up with my guy if he asked for one. Because, if he doesn't know anymore how he feels, then what we had is gone.

For you though, I believe it might work out. Since he just needs to clear out his feelings. Think though, why did you ask for a break from your ex? It may be the same reason for him.

[Chii]

i think you should ask him what he means by this break. you should know the rules/stipulations/whatever before it happens so you can understand the situation. i doubt you'd want a ross/rachel thing like on friends when ross slept with someone else and his excuse was that they were on a break...

i've never been on a break with anyone but if you two both decide that it's just a break from each other to clear things up and not a break where you try to see if you can find something better, then it can probably do some good.

[*xcaitlinx*]

it depends; sometimes breaks will strengthen the relationship because you both will end up realizing how much you truly care for eachother, or it can destroy the relationship because you find out that your feelings for your bf/gf weren't as strong as you thought they were. i guess the only thing you can do is wait and see what happens in the future. if he truly cares for you, then he'll want to get back together after your "break".

[vanners]

I agree with everybody, it usually depends on what kind of relationship you two have. If he needs a break, give him a break. But if you're really curious on where this break is going, then you should talk to him about it. Maybe he needs time to think about his feelings for you, and work on some other stuff. Maybe school.. or some other personal or family issues. And during his break, he'll realize either how much he misses you and comes back. Or realizes that he can't go on with the relationship. Well, good luck, anyways. =)

[priyas]

it depends; sometimes breaks will strengthen the relationship because you both will end up realizing how much you truly care for eachother, or it can destroy the relationship because you find out that your feelings for your bf/gf weren't as strong as you thought they were. i guess the only thing you can do is wait and see what happens in the future. if he truly cares for you, then he'll want to get back together after your "break".

i agree.

[supahstah_luv]

hey emmalie, i hope things work out for you
just think of it as him going away on vacation for a while
busy yourself, spend some quality time alone
you'll be in a better state to talk things out with him after, too

[NgocQuyen]

hmm, i never really understood the process of breaks. i don't even get why two people takes breaks...i mean why would you need to take a break from eachother if you really cared about eachother? and if you don't want to be together then you shouldn't be together right? i don't know...i just don't like breaks..and if a guy asked to take a break i would just tell him that i didn't want to. simple as that. i would tell him if he wants to break up with me then he should just break up with me. if he wants to remain being with me then be with me. don't play games, simple as that.

[Mikael]

hahaha, ive never been on a break in my life, i dont think thats real, this aint no ross and rachel friends episode, you better settle whats going on right now with this dude, girl, you need be like ok man whats going on. and you need to let him know whats up, you know?

damn that was the longest run on sentence ever.

[Levy2k6]

me and my girlfriend broke up for 3 months... we broke up because she though she needed to focus more on this and that and she really didn't need a boyfriend at the time.. it was an official break up.... after two months, she got with this guy and she ended up being dumped like 2-3 days later... after a week or two after that, me and her got back together and now here we are.. like one month later..

i think it really became a break and not a breakup because now we are so much happier.

[redpeony]

I recently had a 'break' with my boyfriend too... and when I announced to him that I wanted one he got pretty pissed off... but the reason was that I never gave him a clear reason as to why I wanted one. We talked it out after and I'd say our relationship has prospered after the break, but it obviously could go either way. If you haven't already done so... just try to ask him, or ask a trusted mutual friend if you have to.. to see why he wanted it. And believe the reason that you are given. And then I guess just wait it out, if you care about him enough.

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

It hard to say if it can really work depending on the relationship. For some couples they really do need their space away from each other and they use that time to focus on themselves and things they have going on in their life. Then for some other couples breaks can lead to an actual offical break up in the relationship. Once on break they discover how much happier they are without that person or that they have an interest in other people. But you cant know for sure what your break will be like. But yes, they can work if both people believe in keeping the relationship alive.

^ I second that.

You can never know for sure how a break's gonna be like. It depends how you two are like when you guys have time from each other. If you guys find that you are better off without each other then it continues from there and turns into an official break up. But some people really DO need time from each other. It WILL be a break if you work it out and keep the relationship alive. (Like Kiera said)

[lilnatcat]

To prevent misunderstanding from happening, u should ask him what he's talking about when he wants a "break". U never know which one he means if u don't ask him.

I thought I could work something out with my ex and have a break, not ur kind but I means as in be apart for a while coz of our University studies.

But... =.=".... he broke up with me before I even could suggest it.....
I guess he wants it the permanent way......

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

Well I know I already replied in this topic but oh well, I guess I'm reposting again. I'm kind of in a similar situation with my boyfriend at the moment.

I was thinking of suggesting that we go on a break; because it seems like we're getting sick of each other and we really need some space. When I say break, I don't mean permanantly broken up, I just mean that I think it would be best if we just got some space from each other that's all.

But most likely they work.