Worst two weeks.. |
 Jan 24 2006, 11:35 AM
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#1
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 Blasian, Asian, INVASION!  Group: Official Member Posts: 4,288 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,769  |
Last last week:
My boyfriend went to his friend's funeral on saturday morning. We had plans to go out and do somethin after for about a week. He calls me up after the funeral tellin me he doesnt feel like doing anything or talking to anyone. So I told him ok and left him alone, givin him his space. He starts yellin at me tellin me Im suppose to be there for him and I wasnt. I thought he was telling me to give him his time so I did..and I get yelled for it..ok.. Last week: I saw this girl I REALLY hated on my bf's myspace and he knew I hate her and he still added her as a friend. So I went to his myspace, logged onto his name, and deleted her. He starts yelling at me cause he told me not to go onto his myspace and I still did anyways. I told him the truth that I did go onto his myspace and deleted her I could have easily lied. I get yelled at for that too. 4 days ago: My bf and I hung out then he left to go hang out with his cousins. I asked him if I could go watch John (My first love/ex) and Chung (my friend) play basketball cause I havent seen them in about 2 years. Well, thats what U though John asked me to do. So I asked my bf is I could. He said yes. Me and john met up at a place and talked for a little. I was still unsure on why he broke up with me and all so I had many questions. Soon john says "Lets go" and I thought he was going to take me to go watch him and chung play basketball. I didnt know the area so john told me to go follow him in the car so I did. Did i mention that I didnt even met up with chung? John took me to this lake with a Gazebo or a dock or whateva. I was just like  Wheres chung? wheres the basketball court? very confused. But we sit at the Gazebo and talked. I asked him all the questions that I had and I found out that he still liked me. I had a good chance to cheat on my boyfriend but I didnt, even though I was with my first love. I had enough power to say no. We stayed there and talked from 10pm to 1am. When john tried to touch me, I wanted to leave so I did. NE wayz, I admit it was my fault how I stayed there for that long but my boyfriend keeps bringing stuff back from the past and adding more stress and guilt to me. With me, I can get ova things quickly, i dont understand how he cant.. DId I mention that my boyfriend when hes mad, he always say the most hurtful things and basically kick me when Im down? "I love you but your the one that hurt me" is the most memoriable "Honestly, You deserve alot more then this" when I told him I deserved everything for what I did even though I didnt do anything "You dont trust me, you dont respect me, what more is there to say?" .... Theres more but I cant think of anything. He tells me when he makes me sad, he tries everything to make me happy. and I mad him sad so how do I make him happy is what he asked. So I asked him "Tell me how i can make you happy and ill do it" and he just shrugged.. idk, We aint gon break up obviously but I just want to make him happy and get the happy relationship back on track.. Advice? (Apologizes for being so long) |
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Jan 24 2006, 12:34 PM
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#2
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 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
Man that reminds me of what happened to me. In September stuff like that happened between me and my then boyfriend. I say then boyfriend because we broke up after it all happened. His cousin (my friend) died and I tried to be there for him but he got angry because apparently he wanted space but he never even told me. Anyways, I suggest you just talk to him and explain that even though you might hurt him, it's not fair that he gets to hurt you back by saying those mean things. Especially because when you hurt him, it's unintentional. It's not like you knew that Chung wasn't going to be there and what's wrong with being friends with your ex. You know? So I think you should just talk it out with him and explain that you're sorry those things happened and you'll be more careful next time when regarding your exes and the things you say/do but in return he needs to try to stop saying those hurtful things to you when he gets angry.
It'll have to be a compromise; you give and you take. |
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Jan 24 2006, 03:19 PM
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#3
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 dakishimetainoni... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,322 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,318 |
relationships are not supposed to be so hurtful. when someone is mad at you, sure you go out of your way to fix it but you're not supposed to do everything in your power everytime they're mad.
sometimes you just have to realize that enough is enough. i took the blame for everything with my ex because he always convinced me that it was my fault. once he read all my old AIM conversations i saved in my e-mail with a guy i used to date. i don't even use that e-mail anymore. i know for sure that i made him promise not to read them when i gave him my main password but he did anyway. and he somehow made me take all the blame. he would ask me questions about guys in my past and what i did with them. he would always throw that in my face, "you did that with them, why not me?" "you let so and so touch you, why not me?" sometimes when our fights made me cry, he'd walk away and/or ignore me. enough about me though. first off, try to make him understand that you misunderstood. sometimes when people are in mourning, they'd rather be by themselves and you wanted to respect that. it's not your fault that you didn't know he wanted you to be there for him. you're not a mind reader. i'm not saying that you should break up with him right now but you have to have standards for yourself. relationships are always hard and everyone fights. in a fight, it has to do with both of the people. it's not ultimately one person's fault. both people have to resolve it together, one person isn't supposed to do everything possible to cheer the other up. relationships aren't a one way street... |
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Jan 25 2006, 07:29 PM
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#4
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to hell with you Group: Member Posts: 2,547 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,506 |
i dno, seems to me its gonna be over soon.
dump him before he dumps you. |
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Jan 25 2006, 08:58 PM
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#5
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Blasian, Asian, INVASION! Group: Official Member Posts: 4,288 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,769 |
we aint breakin up. Im def. not leaving him. We gon work it out.
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Jan 25 2006, 10:30 PM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 189 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 63,312 |
I guess he has to understand that you're not all-powerful and you can't always know what he's thinking or feeling. He's probably going through a really hard time right now, what with death and funeral and everything.. so try to be understanding I guess? It wasn't right of him to get mad at you but he's probably really stressed right now.. I say wait for it to blow over, but at the same time don't be a pushover and make it clear to him that you feel that how he's treating you is unfair.
Your mindset of commitment is good. You'll work it out. =D |
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Jan 26 2006, 09:24 PM
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#7
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 Hello There. Group: Member Posts: 1,572 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 88,673 |
talk to him about his unkind behavior.
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Jan 26 2006, 09:50 PM
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#8
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 you`re undeniable Group: Member Posts: 1,136 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 283,828 |
i think it sounds like he's just going through a rough time and he doesn't want to lose you, you know? that's why he's acting protective and being harsh on you. let him know that you love him, and that you will always be there for him, and things will work out.
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Jan 27 2006, 05:12 PM
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#9
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Blasian, Asian, INVASION! Group: Official Member Posts: 4,288 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,769 |
yah he made me ad again when I found out he didnt go to school and i was appearntly givin him attitude so we had a deep conversation.
Maybe a few hours later, he calls me and tells me that he just has alot of stress to deal with and he loves me. Then I call him a hour later cause he told me to call when im ready to talk. So we talk about it and its all good. |
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Jan 28 2006, 01:58 PM
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#10
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 When the sun sleeps. Group: Member Posts: 532 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 289,628 |
me and my ex beth were lyke you to. We went out 4 times. I couldnt trust her though, she alwyas brought up her ex's and she lied to me alot. I dont know what to tell u, if he makes u cry alot and alot of ur relationship u are sad then maybe u should take break. thats why i did and im much happier now.
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Jan 28 2006, 02:06 PM
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#11
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you`re undeniable Group: Member Posts: 1,136 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 283,828 |
QUOTE(mouse_3k @ Jan 27 2006, 6:12 PM) yah he made me ad again when I found out he didnt go to school and i was appearntly givin him attitude so we had a deep conversation. Maybe a few hours later, he calls me and tells me that he just has alot of stress to deal with and he loves me. Then I call him a hour later cause he told me to call when im ready to talk. So we talk about it and its all good.  wow i'm really glad you guys are working things out. 
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Jan 28 2006, 02:13 PM
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#12
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 cB Assassin Group: Official Member Posts: 10,147 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,672 |
QUOTE(mzbbc @ Jan 28 2006, 2:06 PM) wow i'm really glad you guys are working things out. Agreed. Boy, sure looked like you had quite a bad two weeks. |
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Jan 28 2006, 10:30 PM
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#13
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 41 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 158,270 |
advice: don't chill with your ex boyfriend(s). It can cause more trouble, and bring back old feelings, and lead to cheating
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