Emergency, in case of. |
 Jan 18 2006, 05:02 PM
Post
#1
|
|
 fell in love with a boy  Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965  |
In case of an emergency run as far and as fast as you can.
Dont look back or we'll be as salt before we turn our heads. Cling tightly to the one you're running with. In case of an emergency... Don't fall back, keep up with me. Clear the station on it's situation needs For causes bleed and mingling feeds They will want to become us. And catch the runners as they pass.. Ask for silence and when it does not last FIND the breaker and sound it loud that those who betray us will be cast out and thrown down And as breath takes body in cool morning calm a moment of coming to clarity balms what catches poison and blistering song and taking the tomb tree away from the wronged So silence leave quickly and comes as before when peace was our mother and life was at our door Sheltered and cared for Nurished and fed Now emergency takes us on a run with the dead Choosing our paths leading parasites, behind.. no traces of cancer, no confusion of mind. With a blur of dysfunction..... and a smile so dear quiet memory seeps into the spin and makes everything clear. |
|
|
|
 |
Replies
(1 - 8)
|
Jan 19 2006, 01:02 AM
Post
#2
|
|
 I love Havasupai Group: Member Posts: 1,040 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 163,878 |
This is brilliant! It gets better as I keep reading...there's a seductive tone to your rhyme scheme. It evokes vivid memories of 9-11 and the incessant narratives that eventually justified the war.
As I keep reading, the reference to the tree also reminds me of the bombing in Oaklahoma City and the tree that survived. ...I keep thinking of all of those kids in the daycare center. I'm convinced that a Pulitzer is waiting for you! 
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 19 2006, 10:55 PM
Post
#3
|
|
|
fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
I really dont know how to respond to that.
Thanks. :) |
|
|
|
|
Jan 20 2006, 05:07 PM
Post
#4
|
|
 Call me C.Annie Group: Member Posts: 366 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,994 |
QUOTE So silence leave quickly and comes as before when peace was our mother and life was at our door Those were my favorite lines! They really stood out and I agree. It really reminded me of 9-11. Its a beautiful piece, nice job. I love it! Keep writing beautifully! |
|
|
|
|
Jan 21 2006, 02:54 AM
Post
#5
|
|
|
I love Havasupai Group: Member Posts: 1,040 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 163,878 |
QUOTE(RiddleMeWonders @ Jan 19 2006, 11:55 PM) I really dont know how to respond to that. Thanks. :)  I've got no expectations of a response. I am absolutely amazed by the voice you are developing through your writing. I'm glad you've chosen to share so much of your work here. Yes, I believe you are capable of writing a Pulitzer worthy piece. Anyone can learn the rules of language. Your view of the world, expressed through writing, is a wonderful gift that represents the "art" of writing. |
|
|
|
|
Jan 21 2006, 06:01 AM
Post
#6
|
|
 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
QUOTE(illumineering @ Jan 21 2006, 2:54 AM) I've got no expectations of a response. I am absolutely amazed by the voice you are developing through your writing. I'm glad you've chosen to share so much of your work here. Yes, I believe you are capable of writing a Pulitzer worthy piece. Anyone can learn the rules of language. Your view of the world, expressed through writing, is a wonderful gift that represents the "art" of writing. ^I agree. You've always been a favorite of mine. I love reading your work. And i'm not talking about just on CB. I"m talking about out of everyone i've met and been shown their work. I can't even explain my reaction to this piece. I think this is one of your best. I'll just say that if somehow I could print out this poem, go the nearest movie theatre, steal the mic, and announce this poem on the loud speaker before the movie started, then everything would be good :) lol if that makes sense in any way. It's a compliment lol |
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2006, 02:20 PM
Post
#7
|
|
|
fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
You guys really make me feel great when you say stuff like that, but then I have to be honest that I had nothing in mind for specifics when I wrote this piece. It was not intended to do what it did. It was simply more lindseymaddness. But I'm glad that it brought to mind the things that did. I just didnt know how to respond to "you're great and this is why" when the why was something that I did not intend at all.
I love posting here, and thank you so much Katie, Bill, Annie for commenting. I will strive for that excellence in motivation of you, because I feel like I need to do that. See what's happened in REAL life and incorporate it like Bill thought I did. That way I won't feel like such a phony when I read the encouraging stuff you guys say. <3Lindsey |
|
|
|
|
May 19 2007, 11:11 PM
Post
#8
|
|
|
fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
At the moment, I'm working on a video for this.
A poetry in motion sort of thing. When it's done, I'll post it up. |
|
|
|
|
May 21 2007, 11:49 PM
Post
#9
|
|
|
fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
|
|
|
|
 |
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: