a short story, no name yet. |
 Jan 15 2006, 04:51 AM
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#1
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 if it's not dirty, i'm gonna wear it  Group: Member Posts: 132 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 213,108  |
I've only got a short paragraph writte, I like where its going... But haven't felt like writing more of it. Post if you want me to right more.
 The girl was sitting on the edge of her seat, not paying any attention to what the teacher was saying. Her eyes wandered around the room and stopped at the window. The window is where her eyes always seemed to stop. She always wondered what might be happening outside of her view, or in the little house that nobody ever seemed to come in or out of. Who might be inside the little house with only 3 windows with blinds that always seemed to be closed? What human- or maybe even non-human- interactions might be going on? “SANDRA” yelled Mrs. Alpine. She always hated being called that, but Mrs. Alpine wouldn’t care if she liked it or not. She preferred Sandy, that’s what all her friends called her, her family even called her that. She told her teachers to call her that too, but Mrs. Alpine doesn’t care about the kids. She earns her money each month and that it. “Umm Yes, Mrs. Alpine?” she winced when she said the name. “The bell rang 10 minutes ago, go home kid.” And that is exactly what Sandy did, went home. She missed the bus, again. She walked home, she actually liked walking home, she always got to try and look into the house. She never actually got to see inside, but today… today it was different. The front window was open, as well as the door. As all little curious kids do, they go where they aren’t supposed to go. I suppose Sandy wouldn’t have entered if she “saw” the KEEP OUT; OR ELSE! Sign on the floor mat, but she didn’t “see” it. |
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| *mipadi* |
Jan 15 2006, 09:41 PM
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#2
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Guest |
Interesting start. You slip back and forth from past and present tense, though.
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Jan 15 2006, 09:53 PM
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#3
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if it's not dirty, i'm gonna wear it Group: Member Posts: 132 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 213,108 |
QUOTE(mipadi @ Jan 15 2006, 7:41 PM) Interesting start. You slip back and forth from past and present tense, though.  Oh, I do... Thats what I get for writing it at 3 am. I'll fix it up. |
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Jan 15 2006, 10:20 PM
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#4
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
I like it :) I would really like to see you write the rest of it!
So keep writing :) Sandy seems like a very interesting character too. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest! |
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