some poems i wrote, need a second opinion |
 Jan 14 2006, 07:55 AM
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#1
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 Member  Group: Member Posts: 20 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 352,096  |
this is perfect
i wrote a poem but i feel like its missin sumthin so maybe you guys can help me out What do I get when I’m crying all night long When I am reminded by every love song My love for you was true And that you even knew So why did u leave me Why did u go I thought I could trust you But that was a no There will always be an emptiness in my heart Telling me we shouldn’t be apart and then i wrote this one too but i dont no I lay awake thinking of you all night But you and me baby we just ain’t right You’re all I think about all day long So tell me why are we so wrong You have too many doubts you say But you and me baby we will be okay |
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Jan 14 2006, 09:14 PM
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#2
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 some reason i feel alone...guess cus my true self is never shown Group: Member Posts: 303 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 246,804 |
they're both really good anf show or send alot of emotions.....so i cant really find anythin missin
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Feb 13 2006, 08:21 PM
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#3
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 Feeel X Group: Member Posts: 2,814 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,498 |
so much rhymes, it's kinda like my poems. doesnt use too many difficult vocab
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