notable notices |
Humor Forum Rules
Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.
The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:
NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.
NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.
Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.
Thank you.
| *mona lisa* |
 Dec 19 2005, 08:48 PM
Post
#1
|
|
Guest  |
Some of these are absolutely hilarious. It's a long read, but it's worth it. :)
---------------------------- Notable notices to tourists around the world in English: Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED Hotel notice, Tokyo: IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS. PLEASE IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTICE. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE Hotel, Athens: VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO COMPLAIN AT THE OFFICE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9 AND 11 AM DAILY Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID Sign in Japanese public bath: FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB Sign in men's rest room in Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT Dry cleaner's, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS Outside a dress shop, Hong Kong: LADIES HAVE FITS UPSTAIRS Tailor shop, Rhodes: ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH, WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION In an East African newspaper: A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS Hotel, Vienna: IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS, WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES Advert for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN @$$? In the window on a Swedish furrier: FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: STOP DRIVE SIDEWAYS Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS On the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: ENGLISH WELL TALKING HERE SPEECHING AMERICAN |
|
|
|
 |
Replies
(1 - 9)
|
Dec 19 2005, 08:53 PM
Post
#2
|
|
 I love Havasupai  Group: Member Posts: 1,040 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 163,878 |
QUOTE In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.  ermmm...yeah...whatever. No Tokyo bars for me! 
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 19 2005, 09:24 PM
Post
#3
|
|
 Lurker. Group: Official Designer Posts: 2,161 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,851 |
QUOTE(mona lisa @ Dec 19 2005, 8:48 PM) Hotel notice, Tokyo: IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS. PLEASE IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTICE. I..don't know what it's trying to tell me.  QUOTE(mona lisa @ Dec 19 2005, 8:48 PM) In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. ROFL. QUOTE(mona lisa @ Dec 19 2005, 8:48 PM) Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE ahahhaaha. I like this oxymoron. xD QUOTE(mona lisa @ Dec 19 2005, 8:48 PM) Hotel, Athens: VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO COMPLAIN AT THE OFFICE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9 AND 11 AM DAILY Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID Sign in Japanese public bath: FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB Sign in men's rest room in Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT Dry cleaner's, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR  ROFL. I love those the most.
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 22 2005, 09:59 AM
Post
#4
|
|
 yan lin♥ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 14,129 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,627 |
hhahhahha those are hilarious :D
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 22 2005, 05:22 PM
Post
#5
|
|
 when you smile, i melt inside Group: Member Posts: 1,325 Joined: Oct 2005 Member No: 267,089 |
haha, those are great.
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 26 2005, 11:05 AM
Post
#6
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 290 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,423 |
Ladies with nuts? WTF LOL |
|
|
|
|
Dec 27 2005, 02:24 AM
Post
#7
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 889 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 42,392 |
LOL long read but yeah it was worth it. haha talk about bad grammar!
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 29 2005, 10:25 AM
Post
#8
|
|
 I listen to bands that don't even exist yet... Group: Member Posts: 330 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 249,189 |
absolutely hilarious!!!
QUOTE Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID lol |
|
|
|
|
Dec 30 2005, 04:32 AM
Post
#9
|
|
 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
QUOTE THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE ^haha that was my favorite one :) |
|
|
|
|
Dec 30 2005, 12:57 PM
Post
#10
|
|
 you`re undeniable Group: Member Posts: 1,136 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 283,828 |
QUOTE Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE Advert for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN @$$? hahahahaha those are my favorites.
|
|
|
|
 |
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: