razorblade romance, a part of a longer story Options

[vickiesecrets17]

"I won't I won't I won't" she screams louder hoping to convince herself. "your not your not your not" saying this fighting back the tears. finally, relieveing herself with a crimson flow, "worth it" she whispers while she shivers. Pouting because she knows her escape is wrong. She thinks two wrongs make a right as she snuffs the crank to alivete the pain of the crimson mess. Sitting there dazed for ten minutes more like less. Than slowly getting up to examine her face in the mirror she find a tiny imperfection and because instantly redisgusted with herself. As she tries to disguse herself for her next mistake.
She walks in the room feeling the beat of the music as she goes to him and says" I am sorry." Lifting up her skirt being suggestive as he follows her into the next room. Where she quickly takes off her clothes to show him what he wants from her which is just really her two holes and i am not speaking of her ears or nostrils or eyes. She just sits back and waits for the mixture of vodka and weed to sink into her system so she can give her friend an excuse to why she did it. They never dated in fact he ignores her most of the time and she just is the freeest ride in town. She goes back in the room forgeting as she drinks two more beers.

[sadolakced acid]

hmmm.

you slipped into first person for a second there, seems out of place.

the section about what he wants from her, i suggest you revise, it breaks the flow of the scene.

your story should be an interesting read.

[blackxpearl]

^ agreed. It starts off good though

edit// you got the name from a song right? First thing I noticed.