Spanking Children, does it solve anything? Options

[jEllyBeaNs]

do you think spanking or hitting your children teaches them right from wrong? do you think its wrong or do you think its right? wut would you do to your kids to disiplin (sp) them?

[ParanoidAndroid]

wasn;t there a topic like this about how teachers beat up kids? owell...

I'd spank a kid if he/she did something really horrible at a young age...but i won't do it as a daily routine

[fameONE]

It solves a lot of things. There's a difference between simple disciplinary action by spanking and simply beating and tormenting your child. I'd like to personally give my belt to parents with children who misbehave in public. My parents did it that way, and I turned out fine.

[Tribal J_Rome]

It solves a lot of things. There's a difference between simple disciplinary action by spanking and simply beating and tormenting your child. I'd like to personally give my belt to parents with children who misbehave in public. My parents did it that way, and I turned out fine.

word, my parents did the same thing. i still have nightmares about belts attacking me >.<

i agree spankin solves things, i just don't think i'd ever resort to using a belt or any other object other than my hand, i just wouldn't have it in my heart to hurt my kid like that.

[vash1530]

i think spanking is an outdated form of discipline. It just simply dosn't work anymore (or at least it never worked fro my parents or anyone else's that i know)

[*not_your_average*]

I don't think spanking is right. I would never spank my kid, only because my parents never spanked me. I (think) I turned out fine.

[Mulder]

i think spanking is good. i was spanked as a child. i would do something wrong repeatedly, and after being spanked, i wouldnt do it anymore.
spanking is not the same thing as beating.

[*not_your_average*]

It solves a lot of things. There's a difference between simple disciplinary action by spanking and simply beating and tormenting your child. I'd like to personally give my belt to parents with children who misbehave in public. My parents did it that way, and I turned out fine.

Just like the Boondocks, eh?

[NoSex]

In any case, I would prefer reasoning with my child. However, that may not work in every case. So, I can understand when spanking may need to be applied.

However, I don't think it helps to build a respectable, honest, and honorable adult. I think it is much more important that a child understands, from reason, why they should not do specific things rather than behavior based from a fear of punishment or a hope for reward. It may seem a bit idealistic, but I think it is important.

Often, when a child is spanked they don't exactly understand the implications of what they have done aside from the punishment they are recieving for it. It seems barbaric at times and rather desperate. However, I do understand that in certain cases it may be called for. Eitherway, I think the child should be treated with respect and the adult should try to appeal to the child's reason before resorting to physical punishment. Even if physical punishment is applied, it's important that it is accompanied with an appeal to reason.

"Rewards and punishment is the lowest form of education."
- - - Chuang Tzu

[fameONE]

In any case, I would prefer reasoning with my child. However, that may not work in every case. So, I can understand when spanking may need to be applied.

However, I don't think it helps to build a respectable, honest, and honorable adult. I think it is much more important that a child understands, from reason, why they should not do specific things rather than behavior based from a fear of punishment or a hope for reward. It may seem a bit idealistic, but I think it is important.

Often, when a child is spanked they don't exactly understand the implications of what they have done aside from the punishment they are recieving for it. It seems barbaric at times and rather desperate. However, I do understand that in certain cases it may be called for. Eitherway, I think the child should be treated with respect and the adult should try to appeal to the child's reason before resorting to physical punishment. Even if physical punishment is applied, it's important that it is accompanied with an appeal to reason.

"Rewards and punishment is the lowest form of education."
- - - Chuang Tzu

What planet do you live on?

[NoSex]

What planet do you live on? 

Note that I said I knew it was a bit idealistic. Heh heh.

[*disco infiltrator*]

I agree with Nate. Spanking your child is treating them like a dog. Give them a little more credit than that. They must have had a reason, or motive, for doing the thing you're punishing them for. If all you do is spank them for being bad and give them candy for being good, that's all they'll know. It's better for them to know why something they did was bad, or not acceptable, rather than to know that it got them a spanking. They're going to get frustrated if they don't know why. It will seem unreasonable, even though most children don't understand the concept of reason, it's not going to make sense to them. It will only get them mad and crying.

[fameONE]

In a perfect world, that would work out fine and both parties would win. The parent would feel a sense of accomplishment for enlightening their child and the child can learn to control his/her behavior.

However, reason with an out-of-control screamer in aisle 6 of Wal-Mart and see what happens... nothing. The bastard just keeps screaming. Time out? Fat chance. The little bastard will kick and scream even more. But take off that belt and the child will submit.

[*mipadi*]

Children are not merely "little people". You can attempt to explain to them why they did something wrong, and why it is bad, but you probably won't get very far--children lack the capacity for reasoning, logic, and analysis of behaviors.

[Tribal J_Rome]

^EXACTLY

[fameONE]

^I second that!

[xklipse]

I think it all the depends on the child. In most cases, spankin works...to me...my mom hit me alot when I was little, and I turn out fine, everytime I'm about to do something stupid, i thought about mom, she's kinda like my concience...
Spanking kinda helps a child grow up in the real world more...often, I never see them bring a gun to school, or have suicidal thoughts...
children that have an easy life, facing the real world can be tough for them.

But if the parent abuses the child...she might grow up going pretty crazy..like one of my best friends.

[Mulder]

In a perfect world, that would work out fine and both parties would win. The parent would feel a sense of accomplishment for enlightening their child and the child can learn to control his/her behavior.

However, reason with an out-of-control screamer in aisle 6 of Wal-Mart and see what happens... nothing. The bastard just keeps screaming. Time out? Fat chance. The little bastard will kick and scream even more. But take off that belt and the child will submit.

we're not talking about beating.

spanking is definitely not the same thing as beating a child. taking out a belt and whipping a kid is horrible! but i think you were joking..sort of.

[*disco infiltrator*]

^ Same here, and I was never hit. I don't think hitting your child is a direct cause of "good".

[*RiC3xBoy*]

Technically, you should never physically hurt your kids at all. So does it help, no.

[*mipadi*]

Technically, you should never physically hurt your kids at all. So does it help, no.

Uh...says who? Not that I support spanking (I am neutral on the issue), but from where does that guideline come?

[DaTru KataLYST]

Under operant conditioning, spanking a child is more effective than giving them a verbal warning. If the causual action was a serious thing that needs to be immediately corrected, a spanking would be due, not out of punishment sake, but to instill to the child that what they did is wrong and shouldn't be done again. In the end, as long as you don't spank in anger but in the hopes that the child will remember that punishment will follow their action is suffice.

[fameONE]

I think it all the depends on the child. In most cases, spankin works...to me...my mom hit me alot when I was little, and I turn out fine, everytime I'm about to do something stupid, i thought about mom, she's kinda like my concience...
Spanking kinda helps a child grow up in the real world more...often, I never see them bring a gun to school, or have suicidal thoughts...
children that have an easy life, facing the real world can be tough for them.

But if the parent abuses the child...she might grow up going pretty crazy..like one of my best friends.

I wasn't joking. And being disciplined with a belt isn't "beating" your child. Reread what I said because I was dead serious.

[yummy_delight]

Spanking DOES solve problems. It helps kids who are not yet capable of listening to reason understand when they are doing something wrong and remember not to do it again.

Of course, it shouldn't be done all the time for every single offense. Spanking should only be enforced when a child does something VERY wrong or when all other forms of discipline like yelling or time-outs are not effective.

[DaTru KataLYST]

Psychology already states that spanking is effective. This is no debate. ;O

[*StanleyThePanda*]

i think spanking is good. i was spanked as a child. i would do something wrong repeatedly, and after being spanked, i wouldnt do it anymore.
spanking is not the same thing as beating.

I concur

Being spanked as a child you learn your lesson
but beating (like having bruises from it and stuff) isnt right, but there IS a difference.

[*RiC3xBoy*]

Uh...says who? Not that I support spanking (I am neutral on the issue), but from where does that guideline come?

Well, about 30% of adults who abuse their children were abused themselves as kids.

[*mipadi*]

Well, about 30% of adults who abuse their children were abused themselves as kids.

"Abuse" and "spanking" are not nearly the same thing. We're not talking about abuse here.

[Spirited Away]

I guess I support it, to a certain degree. I've been disciplined that way and I do resent it for obvious reasons, but I definitely learned more than simple "reward and punishment". This is only because my parents rarely spanked out of anger and made sure I understood the reason why I was punished. And when a spanking is done with a conscious intent of discipline and a tight grasp on one's emotions, it doesn't go as far as abuse. A lot of people are adverse to spanking because they think it's physical abuse, when in fact, it is not violent.

Honestly, there was a time when I prefered the belt rather than to hear the things my Dad yelled at me. I think it's easier to control what you do in anger than to control what you say in anger. It's funny how some parents gloat that they never raised their hands to their children and think they are good parents. Verbal abuse is worse sometimes, and it is certainly longer lasting.

[*RiC3xBoy*]

"Abuse" and "spanking" are not nearly the same thing. We're not talking about abuse here.

Yeah, but a small percent of those who do spank leads yo abuse.

[*mipadi*]

Yeah, but a small percent of those who do spank leads yo abuse.

A small percentage of people who drink milk end up abusing their kids, too.

[*RiC3xBoy*]

Well let me ask you, what benefit will someone achieve by spanking?
Also, I'd like to edit that I meant there is a correlation between spanking and abuse.

[Mulder]

A small percentage of people who drink milk end up abusing their kids, too.

haha. nice.

[*mipadi*]

Well let me ask you, what benefit will someone achieve by spanking?
Also, I'd like to edit that I meant there is a correlation between spanking and abuse.

It's a method of teaching children discipline.

[*RiC3xBoy*]

But don't you believe there is a more appropriate way of disciplining children?

[sense.n.style]

it might... but i think u might feel better (just for that moment though)

[*mipadi*]

But don't you believe there is a more appropriate way of disciplining children?

Maybe. What might you suggest?

[*RiC3xBoy*]

It would depend on the situation. For instance, if it was punishment, I would rather take away his/her toys or such and let them vent out there temper in a pillow room or I, for one, am not very fond of spoiling the child, yet having a cruel punishment as well.

[*mipadi*]

I'm going to go out on a limb and be honest and say that I don't really care much about this debate at all, because I don't find it to be very important or interesting in the least. I just get tired of seeing wild, unsourced claims and unsupported "evidence" in the Debate forum.

[Spirited Away]

It would depend on the situation. For instance, if it was punishment, I would rather take away his/her toys or such and let them vent out there temper in a pillow room or  I, for one, am not very fond of spoiling the child, yet having a cruel punishment as well.

Depends on the child, not every one of them will respond to that approach the way you'd think. Take me for example. I didn't have toys because my family was poor and I was unruly for a time... fighting, cursing, and even stealing. What kind of punishment would you have set for me as my parent?

Ah, my uncle actually tried that with me once and just put me in a room to throw a temper tantrum at the wall... Guess what? I build up enough stress and anger to almost get expelled from school. It's better to talk to the child and see if you can help calm the temper, then punish, than to let him/her off by yelling at a pillow. That's just me. How was the problem solved for me? A long talk with Mom and Dad's belt. Actually, I have not used foul language for no reason since then—which is a long time ago.

There are good and bad sides to all disciplinary approaches... in my opinion, because everyone is so different. Whether or not one way is more "appropriate" than another depends on the child.

[fameONE]

I'm going to go out on a limb and be honest and say that I don't really care much about this debate at all, because I don't find it to be very important or interesting in the least. I just get tired of seeing wild, unsourced claims and unsupported "evidence" in the Debate forum.

Maybe I'm a bit biased on this argument, but the only support needed is a firsthand account on an out-of-control kid in a supermarket.

"Billy, be quiet or you'll go in time out!"
-->screaming continues<--

Right...

"Want me to give you something to cry about?!"
"No ma'am."

Exactly.

[*mipadi*]

Maybe I'm a bit biased on this argument, but the only support needed is a firsthand account on an out-of-control kid in a supermarket.

"Billy, be quiet or you'll go in time out!"
-->screaming continues<--

Right...

"Want me to give you something to cry about?!"
"No ma'am."

Exactly.

I don't have a problem with firsthand testimony, but there are a lot of statements thrown around in this forum like "Experts say..." or "I read that..." which are followed by no source whatsoever.

I don't mean to point fingers, but in this specific thread there was a comment that there was a correlation between spanking and child abuse, which caught my attention for two key reasons:

1. First of all, correlation does not indicate causation. For example, take this statement: "A high number of murderers drank milk as children." That shows a correlation between drinking milk and murdering people. However, clearly drinking milk does not cause murder. Point: one cannot draw conclusions of causation merely from statements of correlation.
2. The statement regarding correlation was not sourced. I'm not saying it's wrong, but in a debate, it would be nice to have the source handy so it can be examined.

[vash1530]

ppl need to remember that not every case is the same. My parents use to spank me and my siblings (among other things) but, while it had a mild effect on my self and my older sister, my younger siblings are still very unruly. There are many different scenarios which decide whether or not spanking solves aything. Trying to find an ultimate answer on this topic is stupid

[*RiC3xBoy*]

I don't have a problem with firsthand testimony, but there are a lot of statements thrown around in this forum like "Experts say..." or "I read that..." which are followed by no source whatsoever.

I don't mean to point fingers, but in this specific thread there was a comment that there was a correlation between spanking and child abuse, which caught my attention for two key reasons:

1. First of all, correlation does not indicate causation. For example, take this statement: "A high number of murderers drank milk as children." That shows a correlation between drinking milk and murdering people. However, clearly drinking milk does not cause murder. Point: one cannot draw conclusions of causation merely from statements of correlation.
   
   
2. The statement regarding correlation was not sourced. I'm not saying it's wrong, but in a debate, it would be nice to have the source handy so it can be examined.

I bit the word correlation was a bit vague. What I meant to say was that spanking is a physical punishment is as the same for abuse. Now, I'm not saying that people who spank their kids will eventually abuse them, just that spanking and abuse have more of a similiar "path" then milk and abuse.

Here is a source I found on spanking. http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin5.htm

[*disco infiltrator*]

I don't think it's so much a causation rather than it can easily lead up to abuse. Once a parent gets used to physically punishing their child, it can get out of hand, and sometimes they don't know when it's too far. It doesn't cause it necessarily, but can easily lead up to it.

[DaTru KataLYST]

Citing B.F. Skinner now,

physical punishment is not effective in erasing the bad behavior, but it is effective for supressing the bad behavior. The father will spank, the son will stop swearing, but only stop swearing in front of the parents. The son, in effect from the punishment (spanking), actually learns to not swear in front of parents, but will swear when it is safe (no parents around).

So what is the definition of solving in this debate? The child will be good only when you or an authority is around or the child learns that bad behavior is bad and knows it shouldn't be done?

=S

[fameONE]

If my mother tells me not to do something; at 18 years old, I don't do it behind her back. Why? Because she taught me better than that. And what taught me? A belt/switch/sandal/etc.

[Spirited Away]

If my mother tells me not to do something; at 18 years old, I don't do it behind her back. Why? Because she taught me better than that. And what taught me? A belt/switch/sandal/etc.

Ditto.

[Crich323]

I think it does.
I got spanked when I was little and I'm pretty sure I didn't do the same crime twice.

Not many people spank their children as much as they used to though...

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

But don't you believe there is a more appropriate way of disciplining children?

Yeah there's grounding or simply lectures or non-violent punishments. But that never works. Because the child knows nothing will happen to him/her except get stuck in the house, which is a very very lame punishment if you ask me. There's a reason why detention never works with a bunch of kids.


My parents don't do this anymore, but they used to hit me with the belt, if not belt they'll slap me. From this I learned never to do anything wrong again......



until I turned 12 when they stopped.

[*Zatanna*]

The old spank debate.

There really isn't a definitive right or wrong answer here. Spank isn't "abuse." However, beating is. Use your judgement, you'll know (and most parents should) if you've crossed that line or not.

Personally, I don't spank my boy. For one thing, he has autism and would only understand that I had hurt him, he would not be able to put the two together. I have no choice but to use positive reinforcement, but I like it that way. (I'm also very blessed to have a reasonable child - especially considering his diagnosis).

There has been times when Israel is completely out of control (at Target, for example, he expects to walk out of the store with an Xbox or Gamecube game every time we go). Just not going to happen. I have literally left my shopping cart in the store, put him over my shoulder and walked out. I didn't neccesarily "spank," but I did use force. Is that abuse? I certainly think not.

[xxtaintedlips]

well, as a child I was spanked, but rarely. My parents found out that it was more effective to give positive enforcment. I was only spanked once or twice and after that my parents spoke to me like an adult. i was only grounded once in my life and that was for go to an abandoned house when i was told not to. yeah i was very upset, but i was moody anyway because my mom and dad had just broken up. what can i say i was six years old! anyway im getting off subject....
I think that it is important that parents treat thier children like equals, not like a stupid little kid that dont know anything. Somethimes spanking needs to be applied if the child is intent on being moody and unruley.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

I think that it is important that parents treat thier children like equals, not like a stupid little kid that dont know anything. Somethimes spanking needs to be applied if the child is intent on being moody and unruley.

The truth is, there are cases when a kid can be stupid. If an adult treats a 6-year old like another adult, the kid can get confused..for example when I was 6, this adult spoke to me in the mall while I was pushing down manequins out of fun, "I am aware that you should know what you did was wrong. You stop all of these nonesense and go back to your parent."


I was hella confused! If you're trying to say that children should be punished through grounding or conversations or simple lectures, then I can see your point. But a parent can lecture a child and still talk to it as if the child isn't an adult. Besides, treating a child as an equal adult means you trust it with FULL responsiblity. Like the child is responsible enough to hold ten thousand dollars or to keep a life-threatening secret....or simply as if the child is responsible enough to actually know how the world really goes.

[*Weird addiction*]

Not all parents are the same. People are different. Everyone's got their own belief. Some parents think spanking's the best thing for their children, some don't. It all depends.
Some kids respond to spanking, some don't. I'm not exactly for the spanking thing but if a parent should think that he/she's doing what's best for his/her child, good.
I was spanked on few occasions but my mom stopped because it never worked. I still dated boys and all that. But then she took away my computer rights, walk man, my short skirts...that worked. I never repeated what i did.

I'll never spank my child. I prefer grounding or taking away his/her toys for a certain period of time just because it worked for me. I can't imagine me spanking my child. There are other ways you can discipline a child.

I think every parent should discipline their children the way they think is best as long as it doesn't go too far. Like abuse and all that.

[*Programmer*]

ill spank/beat with a belt... my kids if they act up...and know better...sorry but that's how i was brought up... it keeps them in line...

[*ainami*]

Personally, I would never spank my children. I was spanked occasionally when I was a child, and I was also yelled at repeatedly, which I would call verbal abuse. When I look back on my childhood, I see that I responded better when my parents made me sit down with them and we had a discussion about how what I did was wrong. They seemed so disappointed in me that I felt incredibly bad for my actions. When they spanked me or just yelled at me, I developed a dislike for my parents and became a very lonely child...

Well it wasn't that bad. But I still think that spanking is wrong. I'm not saying that it should be outlawed or anything like that, but I do believe it has a negative effect on some children.

Ah well, spanking has been around for decades, and it will continue to be around. I just know I won't spank my kids. I believe in a more non-violent approach.

[voguelove]

i dont think so. i was spanked as a kid by my mom and i did the same things over, and over again. it doesnt really matter what kind of punishment you give them, theyre still gonna do it again. (unless its one of those kids who get spanked by their parents with like.. sledge hammer.)


but, i do know im never going to hit or yell at my future kids.

[Hell-Rell]

I gotta say that I'mma spank (Whoop) my kids. Because kids do need limits and if you don't enforce you parental power kids are going to walk all over you. But I wouldn't whoop them for every little reason. I'm from a family where they believe in spankings, when I use to get spankings for bad things I did, I never wanted to do it again.

[EddieV]

In a way it does.

[Joss-eh-lime]

i actually dont think its effective. kids learn by example
& experiences. and anyway ii hate seeing moms spank their kid.
my parents spanked me and my sisters and the only thing
it did was make us cry we'd go back to doing whatever
it was we werent supposed to.

[Paradox of Life]

The old spank debate.

There really isn't a definitive right or wrong answer here. Spank isn't "abuse." However, beating is. Use your judgement, you'll know (and most parents should) if you've crossed that line or not.
certainly think not.

Yeah, I agree. Spanking young children (4-7) doesn't really do much because they'll just see it as their parents being mean to them... At least, that's how it was for me. I'd continue to misbehave even if I was spanked, but I'd try to avoid the spanking part. So .. the question is, "Does spanking actually help?" And the answer is yes and no. It scares the shit out of your children, so they don't want to misbehave again, but ... it's not really a good solution because they're not learning anything. A lot of the time, spanking is just a way for the parents to relieve their stress and anger from what the child has done. I think a good, calm sit-down and talk about what the child has done and what they should do in the future would be a lot better. Or maybe a time out or grounding or something ... but spanking is so obselete.

[Mr. Slowjamz]

this is not even a debate

[WickedDreamer]

I was never spanked (that doesn't sound like the right past tense) but I was a really good kid when I was younger... I don't ever remember doing anything wrong... oh, wait, I stole a game piece from Battleship from my day care center... But, my mom spanks my younger siblings now (6-8, I'm 16) and I don't think it does anything besides get them to throw a tempertantrum. And they still do whatever they did again. I think grounding works, yes, even for a five year old. Take away there toys for awhile... I've only been grounded three times and whatever I did to deserve the grounding I haven't done again.

[d00kie]

this reminds me of a story

Guy1 gave Guy2 an elephant he said that if Guy2 could get him to stop eating he would give Guy2 enough money for his entire family. Guy2 spends all day feeding the elephant but he doesnt stop eating and for years and years the elephant does not stop eating. He told Guy1 that there was no way that the elephant could eat more so Guy 1 gives the elephant food and he eats it. Guy1 said that Guy2 had one more chance. Guy1 decided to take action so he gave the elephant food and then took it away and showed it more food and if it went for it he would whip him. The elephant stopped eating when it wasnt necessary and Guy 1 gave Guy2 the money.

what im trying to prove is for a child who does it several times after talks about why it is wrong maybe a little tap but my rents used to abuse me and it just drove me to run away and find shelter at a friends house nothing more

[AngryBaby]

i got spanked lol

all i can say is this: it hasnt f**ked me up

though it hasnt made me not do things.

though i am really respectful to adults....

and the only way i can compare a bit its looking at my friends who havent been spanked.

and looking at them and their parents as they seem to push boundaries with the respect thing

its funny because their like "omg, you got spanked!? thats like abuse!" and im like "meh"


the belt seems to work better than "okay children, lets please be quiet, this is quiet time"

bring out the belt and the whole house will get quiet. hehe

in the long run i think it just adds discipline

[o0olaalaa]

i don't think it does. it just causes your children to be abusive to their children when they grow up. smacking him/her just releases the parents tension. gosh but if that kid is really bad. i mean really really bad. spank him/her

[*lil_chubby_cheeks2*]

It solves a lot of things. There's a difference between simple disciplinary action by spanking and simply beating and tormenting your child. I'd like to personally give my belt to parents with children who misbehave in public. My parents did it that way, and I turned out fine.

yeah ._.
its not right though

[aznxdreamer]

i dont think spanking is reasonable. there are other ways to discipline children and some of those other ways could be more affective than spanking. personally, i think talking about it, lecturing, or even yelling is ok and might be more affective than spanking. spanking just makes a child fear their parents, and i dont think it should be that way.

i would never spank my kids. i would rather sit them down and talk about it. if my kids loved me, than they would hear how disappointed i am in them and they wouldnt do i again.

[WickedDreamer]

I'm also gonna add that pain is fleeting. You get spanked, you get over it. At least, that's my view.

[IceCream4U]

Well, I think that it must solve some way or the other.

They do something, they get spanked, and they won't do it anymore. Period.

[*chaneun*]

Doesn't it cause children to fear their parents?

[IceCream4U]

Well, that's a good point. Ugh, I don't know what to think now!

[sillakilla220]

it does not cause fear. i'm not only gonna spank my kids i'm gonna f**k them up till they get the point not to misbehave. not only am i teaching them a lesson in manners but i'd also be toughening them up for the future so they dont end up like most of the p**sies on this site

[ecargnmyst]

its goood if theres a reason behind it..but it really makes the child hate you if u spank them for no reason or more like.."just to get your own nger out" for gods sake! kids r not ur punching bags!!!

[flc]

Heh..I'm kind of a hypocrite on this one.

I always tell my parents/friends that I'll never spank my children, no matter what they do.

But I babysit my cousin Ryan a lot..and he is hyper as hell and never listens to me, so I have no choice but to spank him. I don't do it hard, but just to make sure he knows I'm serious, because he always sees me as a playmate and not a figure of authority.

So I guess, in certain situations, it would be alright, like if your kid is acting obnoxious and refuses to listen to you.

[xoxo_proud]

I think it depends on what kind of child you have. Some children might stop doing something (like throwing a tantrum) after they spanked; some kids might be more stubborn. I also think there are other ways just as effective as spanking. But I'm not a parent yet so I'm not going to say "Well spanking is wrong!" because it's not and how am I to know? I dont have a child yet.

[D1SMANTLED]

i didnt read through much of the debate so far, so im sorry if i repeat anything anyone said. but honestly i dont think it teaches them right from wrong. It only makes them not do that bad deed again just out of fear they're going to get spanked again. Its productive, but it doesnt teach them right from wrong. It just scares some shit into them.

[jue]

i guess like maybe doing it like once in a while can't be too bad. But if its a daily routine then i feel there are better ways to disciplin a child.

[*xcaitlinx*]

it does not cause fear. i'm not only gonna spank my kids i'm gonna f**k them up till they get the point not to misbehave. not only am i teaching them a lesson in manners but i'd also be toughening them up for the future so they dont end up like most of the p**sies on this site

just shut up...now.


i agree with chaneun on this one. i was never spanked as a child...and i would think that being spanked would scare the child into not misbehaving ever again instead of teaching them right from wrong. yeah, they may not have the brain capacity to fully understand why what they are doing is wrong, but do you think using force can be justified from that? abuse or not, i still think that it's not a very smart way to discipline your kid. i know that my little brother (he's 4) used to throw tantrums in stores and other public places, and my mom didn't resort to smacking him in front of everyone. she also didn't scream at him like most parents do. my mom simply ignored him and showed that him crying and screaming didn't affect her. after just a few minutes, he would stop crying because his attempt to get a reaction out of her failed. this shows that spanking your child isn't the only/best way to punish your child.

[lilith]

heck no

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

maybe depends...

[Smoogrish]

Depends what they did, but for the most part, I don't think it's good. I've never been spanked before (my mom and dad are awesome), but if I got spanked, it would just make me hate my mom and dad and possibly be scared.

Yeah, definitely scared.

[Yemmerz]

OH HELL YES.

Now, I'm going to look like a big racist with this one. But we know it's true.

Foreign kids vs. Americans

Its true that most of the time, foreign kids have a lot better manners toward their parents then American kids do. The big factor in this is the fact that other cultures believe in spanking a child, where as in the US, we seem to believe in the psychological disapline. I personally think if you use both equally, you can have a great kid. But using one over the other makes either a bitter kid or a bitch kid. When I think about my friends, the foreign kids seem to be a lot more well behaved at school and at home because they have the home training from their parents that they got from their country when they were younger. The kids that are American usually get attitudes with their teachers and really don't give a shit about some stuff.

I think I was generalizing, but I'm hoping someone agrees with me here.

[*Teenage Mutant Ninja Meg*]

Anything physical that is meant to hurt the child out of doing something, in my opinion, is completely wrong. If my child was acting up, I'd start by limitting his activities, taking things from him and whatnot. Children can become afraid of you if you spank them continuously. My dad was quite physical with me when I was little, and I'm still afraid of him sometimes.

[*My Cinderella.*]

I think spanking is a good idea. It also depends though, I wouldn't want to over due the spanking and start spanking my child for every little mistake. But if they did something wrong and is in need of being taught a lesson bring on the spanking. It'll make them realize that it's not something they should repeat.

[xosteffanator]

No my dad used to do it to me and i would cry so hard!
I think a time out is better

[Yemmerz]

Time outs make kids bratty.
I say both together, not abusing the kid here -_-;;, works well.

[*swtcherriipie*]

Everyone has to see that they way YOU were raised affects the way you raise your children..ALOT. My parents spanked me all the time but all they proved was that they lost their patience and my annoyance got to them. Indeed parents are suppose to teach their childern right from wrong but not by inflicting any kind of pain upon them. Then again thats just me. Im going to try my hardest NOT to spank my chlred and loose my cool all i will do is the (1 2 3 T I M E-O U T) technique. I hope people are RATIONAL about raising and disciplining their kids.

[flc]

^ Yeah.

I know that when I was little and got spanked, I knew I wasn't going to do whatever I was doing again for fear of being spanked, not because I realized at that age that what I was doing was wrong.

[rainbowish]

My parents have never spanked/slapped/grounded/ or severly punished me. I am a junior in high school... good grades... respectful.

So I dont think that spanking really does anything... its kinda stupid and shouldnt be alloweed.

[flc]

Well I don't really think there's any way you can stop it..but I just hate it when parents take their whiny kids to the grocery store and then spank them when they start acting up. It's like, you know your child is a complainer..leave them at home with a babysitter. Plus it's just common courtesy to other customers.

Same thing with church. Don't bring your loud obnoxious child with you. People go there to pray, not to listen to your kid screaming. >.<

[*mipadi*]

The implication that any parent who spanks their child is "losing his cool" is not entirely accurate. It's incorrect to suggest that spanking alone will teach a child right from wrong, but just because a child is spanked does not mean he will only fear the punishment and not understand right and wrong. I was occasionally spanked as a child and I grew up to learn right from wrong just fine—and I would never categorize my parents as "losing their patience".

Everyone has to see that they way YOU were raised affects the way you raise your children..ALOT. My parents spanked me all the time but all they proved was that they lost their patience and my annoyance got to them. Indeed parents are suppose to teach their childern right from wrong but not by inflicting any kind of pain upon them. Then again thats just me. Im going to try my hardest NOT to spank my chlred and loose my cool all i will do is the (1 2 3 T I M E-O U T) technique. I hope people are RATIONAL about raising and disciplining their kids.

[*swtcherriipie*]

My parents have never spanked/slapped/grounded/ or severly punished me. I am a junior in high school... good grades... respectful.

So I dont think that spanking really does anything... its kinda stupid and shouldnt be alloweed.

Really good point but how would you handle an out of control child? I mean its not like all kids have good grades and are respectfull right? Behh i WISH all little kids were like that but the sad truth is deppending on how YOU were raised affects the way you raise your children.. Thtas just me.. (again) lol.

[demolished]

Spanking does solve problems, not all of it but ... spanking more than enough can cripple a child's self-esteem, affections, memory, and parent awareness.

When i was a child, both of my brothers accused me of breaking things. My mother would ram my head against the floor, crush my head against the smith, smack me with a long tree stick filled pointy thorns, slap me in the face, and so much more.

i grew up so without much family love. I only grew with drama. I was almost completely on my own. I no longer feel loved or care by anyone in the family because whatever bad happens to me, my mother tells EVERYONE about how terrible i was, especially my classmate's mother, teacher, relatives, staff members, and all. I end up being a "loner" due to obvious reasons. What else? It affected my social skills and self-image. How did it affect me?

- I got flat dead cheeks, stretch marks between my eyes, and more stretch marks above my eye browns, and what else? Oh yeah, i wear hearing aids which is an electronic hearing device that helps me to hear better by increasing distance in my environment. So ... what do I look like right now? Personally, i look like CRAP. Recently, my moms directly shove the fact that she kept to herself in my face, “you're not attractive".


- i have a lot of difficulty with communication. I'm very awfully quiet and tranquil back in the days. My English skills are terrible. This is why I’m ELD classes for about eight years in school. Do you know what I realize? I’m like … the only one in H.S who was born here and cannot use proper English unlike 99.9% Americans in H.S. Even fobs can speak 1000000000000 times better than me in about just four years. I mean, cbers … look at me, do I type like a fob that cannot use “right” English? I’m sure you do, right? How many grammatical errors do you see?

I lost my family spirit through the years for every holiday such Chinese New Year, birthday, and special occasions. Whenever i had family dinner, I am always being humiliated by family, they would have conversations about my looks, school, how stupid i am, what i did wrong in the past, and how much i "grew" from this so called "mistake". There was so much nonsense going through my mind while i was quiet.
Therefore, I am used to being "hated" and “judged” for who I am.

I never mean anything much to my parent. All the” similes” and “happiness” that they saw ... were so believably fake, not real. It was all about drama. Yes, DRAMA.


At this point of my life, I am not a typical happy Chinese boy. I do not even like my dad at ALL than my mom. There are times when I just hated my mother for her lame attitude toward me. Sheesh, she needs to calm down and listen, stop going ballistic on herself. Another thing was … when my brother announces a trip for the entire male in the family; I automatically react to saying negative things to my brother such as “no “ … “father …eh?”, and “ I don’t want father to come along with us”.

Well, that's too bad for the family. It is such a big ashamed for me to be in it. I'm already a messed-up negative child. I do things that i want to do ... I never do things for the sake of family, never. I'm badly influenced and rise by parents who is completely ALMOST illiterate in America which means, my parents aren’t well uneducated due to restrictions, poor society, or drugs problems.

As a result from living with a family, i consider myself a spoil brat who doesn’t appreciate much in the family. I just take things and not thinking back. Why? Like I say, spanking can cause social abilities and self-image (scars) which involves with bad memory. Another thing is that it destroys my basic judgments of what’s right or wrong.

Therefore, parents are children's basic needs. Parents are naturally the one who settle examples for their kids. Parents are the one who shape children's personality and interests. Somewhere in the future, kids will transform their personality to something that is suitable for themselves.
Yeah, I somewhat “transform” this traits to something else base on who I am.
For an example:

If you're a horrible BAD parent (does drugs, bad parties all night, and etc ...), you'll most likely have a weak child who will struggle in school education.


This is why i think parent should be more ... understandings?

[flc]

^ That's terrible. I'm really sorry.

[priyas]

its so stupid. and its kinda abusive.

[flc]

Yeah, that kind of brings up a question: where would you draw the line between disciplinary actions and abusive?

[*SuzieRawkSoxx*]

See... Its just not ok to spank your children... It traumatizes them.

EX: the other day i was in the car with my sister and her daughter and she was going to fix her daughters seat belt and the little girl screammed and raised her hands as if to protect herself we were all like wtf? when we asked her why she did it she said because she thought her mommy was going to hit her...

Quite sad yes it is..

[mastashake15]

spanking solves many problems. my parents did spank me and i learned from that. i never did that awful thing again. but nowadays they would just talk to me and i would get along fine and they understand me and vise versa. its like a trade off or a negotiation. maybe without spanking i would have turned out like those kids from like nanny 911 or something cuz i was pretty bad as a child but i turned out just fine

[demolished]

See... Its just not ok to spank your children... It traumatizes them.

EX: the other day i was in the car with my sister and her daughter and she was going to fix her daughters seat belt and the little girl screammed and raised her hands as if to protect herself we were all like wtf? when we asked her why she did it she said because she thought her mommy was going to hit her...

Quite sad yes it is..

O__O I HAVE THAT EXPERIENCE OF BEING THAT CHILD ! ALL MY REASONS FOR BEING AFRAID IS BECAUSE OF MY PARENT'S SYSTEM OF ABUSE, NOTHING ELSE.