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Mouthed Words
Bobblehead425
post Nov 9 2005, 07:44 PM
Post #1


My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
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Mouthed Words

my words mean nothing
and reflect off your heart
they fall on the floor,
the letters rip apart

so I dropped the conversation
and left you alone
to be the king of cold emotion
single handed on your throne

you closed my lips
and sewed them tight
i tried to breathe
but the world's out of sight...


.....

im bored all the time. i write like...alot.
 
 
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b0st0ngrl
post Nov 9 2005, 07:49 PM
Post #2


No Day But Today.
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That's awesome. I absolutely adore it. throb.gif
 
Bobblehead425
post Nov 9 2005, 08:16 PM
Post #3


My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
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Group: Member
Posts: 640
Joined: Jun 2005
Member No: 150,342



thank you happy.gif lol i adore comments...
 
RiddleMeWonders
post Nov 9 2005, 09:25 PM
Post #4


fell in love with a boy
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It's really good.
It's not over done, it's a style that isn't used but by one or two people here. Length happens a lot.
I especially like the bit about "king of cold emotion"

I adore voters. Vote.
Seriously, I know people will read this. If you're posting topics in this section you should comment frequently. *Critisizing other's works and comparing them to your own help you to become a better writer. When you comment, the forum comes alive.
 
faithin_felix
post Feb 13 2006, 08:29 PM
Post #5


Feeel X
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woo, i like the rhymes!
 
akjsd
post Feb 13 2006, 09:43 PM
Post #6


Senior Member
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i love the first stanza
 

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