arranged marriages Options

[ParanoidAndroid]

looked and found no topic

alright i want to know.... Does anyone here have anything to do with arranged marriage as far as being in one? If not, what do you think of it. Did your parents ever hint on it? Do you know someone who has an arranged marriage?

I recently found out my grandpa has a wife from an arranged marriage and a wife from the philippines (my grandma). I basically thought that was disgusting. And he told me he will arrange my marriage or it's a matter of disownment. My dad said he wouldn't allow that but idk.... at times like these, i wish my grandpa would just grow old and get alzheimers,(well he's old enough to die, he's like 86 or somethin) and it's not like he ever spent time with me...i only see him once a year and all he does is drink beer.

[tequila_sky]

Don't worry if your dad said he doesn't aprove of it or let it happen then trust him. I have a friend that comes from India and they have arranged marriages all the time. She never got to that point because she found a man that loved her and that she loved. Their parents aproved of him too, so it was cool. I dunno what would have happened if her parents had not approved of him though... I dont really agree with it meaning, I wouldn't like it for me or my kids, but you know to some its a good thing. And again::don't worry::

[o0olaalaa]

i think its rong. people should marry someone they love.

[_sarcastic_]

^i agree. i don't know anyone that is in an arranged marriage

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

My friends parents were arranged in marriage. The story of how they get together is hilarous.

Her dad would follow her mom around at school, pretty much stalking her and when her dads friends asked her mom what she thought she said she hated him and never wanted to even talk to him. Now theyre married and have like 5 kids.

I think an arranged marriage is not something good, but its someone culture. Id rather marry someone i love and have my parents disapprove than be with someone i dont love

[LittleLulu]

i really think its not that bad of an idea.
mostly because i trust my parents in their judgement.
even if they dont arrange a marriage they have alot of say in who i marry. i think they liked my ex boyfriend quite a bit, but that didn't work out and she was still supportive.

i guess i'd rather marry someone i really want to marry.
BUT the other day i had a dream where my parents arranged a marriage for me and i had like no idea who he was. then i met him (in my dream of course) and he turned out to be really cool. and i ended up liking him. he wasn't anyone i knew in real life..so that was weird. but oh well.

[Chii]

the idea is wrong but it can be a beautiful story...sure you may not have wanted to marry whoever but you can end up incredibly happy anyway. as long as it's not a young woman marrying a grandpa or vice versa

my parents had an arranged marriage. in the beginning it was awkward but my dad really cared about my mom and made her comfortable around him and etc. since then, they've been like best friends...once they even wore matching outfits

don't worry, i doubt that your grandpa will actually go through with the disowning thing, your parents are taking your side anyway.

[mouse_3k]

my best friend has a arranged marriage. She has a bf though. she is not even allowed to talk to guys *shes indian* yah but shes like in love wit her bf...I dont like him..

[miz_sunshine]

My mom said if I'm not married by the time i turn 28, she's gonna arrange a marriage for me -_-

[HelplessCry]

aww poor yen! not cool not cool at all :[ but i don't know depends. if you want to and dont want too. you should atleast get what you want to say in who you wish to love and marry. its like taking away the meaning of living. with someone else telling you what to do. but this kind of reminds me of ranma 1/2 in the end i think they do marry each other...i hope they do.

[ParanoidAndroid]

^awww lol thanks lindsey

My friends parents were arranged in marriage. The story of how they get together is hilarous.

Her dad would follow her mom around at school, pretty much stalking her and when her dads friends asked her mom what she thought she said she hated him and never wanted to even talk to him. Now theyre married and have like 5 kids.

I think an arranged marriage is not something good, but its someone culture. Id rather marry someone i love and have my parents disapprove than be with someone i dont love

that's a cute story

My mom said if I'm not married by the time i turn 28, she's gonna arrange a marriage for me -_-

lol that won't matter...you'll get married by then

my best friend has a arranged marriage. She has a bf though. she is not even allowed to talk to guys *shes indian* yah but shes like in love wit her bf...I dont like him..

yeah...that's what i'm worried about if i have to go through arranged marraige

the idea is wrong but it can be a beautiful story...sure you may not have wanted to marry whoever but you can end up incredibly happy anyway. as long as it's not a young woman marrying a grandpa or vice versa ermm.gif

my parents had an arranged marriage. in the beginning it was awkward but my dad really cared about my mom and made her comfortable around him and etc. since then, they've been like best friends...once they even wore matching outfits pinch.gif

don't worry, i doubt that your grandpa will actually go through with the disowning thing, your parents are taking your side anyway.

aww lol your parents sound like a cute couple

[*not_your_average*]

My parents went through an arranged marriage. Sure, they have their spats, but they love each other. I, personally, wouldn't want an arranged marriage, but it seems like a logical idea. I trust my parents' judgement.

[shortiiex]

i would never do an arranged marriage...i think everyoen should chose their own love
my mom said that she wants to find someone for me..but shw wouldn't really do that

[KissMe2408]

Man, an arranged marriage? ah...to me that's a cage. I would want to marry someone who I love, who I can trust. I mean i know there are stories where people get arranged marriages and they really end up falling in love, which is fine and dandy but personally i would hate that. I would want to be free to marry who i wanted.
-edit- oh yes, i'm going to edit your first post, cuz you spelled marriage wrong and a bunch of things...

[ParanoidAndroid]

Man, an arranged marriage? ah...to me that's a cage. I would want to marry someone who I love, who I can trust. I mean i know there are stories where people get arranged marriages and they really end up falling in love, which is fine and dandy but personally i would hate that. I would want to be free to marry who i wanted.
-edit- oh yes, i'm going to edit your first post, cuz you spelled marriage wrong and a bunch of things...

wait...what about my first post?

*edit*
OHHH..aw man...screw spelling and marraige is spelled marraige man..you're the one who's wrong (i checked in www.dictionary.com)

okay, i did some research and found that arranged marraiges work better than non-arranged marraiges

[justdecent]

Okay, so obviously, there is a lot to be said for our generations not having to use arranged marriages, but the more I think about it, it isn't sounding so terrible. I mean, both of you are in the same predicament, so you are working twice as hard as us normal folks to make sure things work, and providing your mom knows your taste, it doesn't seem terrible.

[Aoiro]

I am not a fan of arranged marriage.
Only if you actually love each other.
Arranged marriage only force you to love someone you might not like, and even if they say you're going to be happy and love each other, deep down, you probably wouldn't.

[ParanoidAndroid]

Okay, so obviously, there is a lot to be said for our generations not having to use arranged marriages, but the more I think about it, it isn't sounding so terrible. I mean, both of you are in the same predicament, so you are working twice as hard as us normal folks to make sure things work, and providing your mom knows your taste, it doesn't seem terrible.

it's my grandpa who is choosing

[inquisitive_]

I don't necessarily agree with it. A person should be able to marry whom ever she/he chooses. Having your parents approve of the person is important but they shouldn't make you marry anyone who you don't love.

[KissMe2408]

OHHH..aw man...screw spelling and marraige is spelled marraige man..you're the one who's wrong (i checked in www.dictionary.com)

5 entries found for marriage.
mar·riage ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mrj)
n.

The legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife.
The state of being married; wedlock.
A common-law marriage.
A union between two persons having the customary but usually not the legal force of marriage: a same-sex marriage.
A wedding.
A close union: “the most successful marriage of beauty and blood in mainstream comics” (Lloyd Rose).
Games. The combination of the king and queen of the same suit, as in pinochle.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Middle English mariage, from Old French, from marier, to marry. See marry1.]

No entry found for marraige

^i found that at www.dictionary.com

[ParanoidAndroid]

err then how come marraige was applicable too? err i hate grammar

[KissMe2408]

^lol i have no idea why. Grammar and Spelling...yuck!

[angelrevelation]

... your grandpa can't disown you you're not his kid.

and... no my family doesnt do that, but i know a girl who WANTS and arranged marriage. but she says she has to approve the choice, so it isn't that horrible...

[xmkaex]

reminds me of apu in the simpsons

[ParanoidAndroid]

^oyeah! lol i remember that

[ILUVELMO2212]

WOULDNT HAVING ARRANGED MARRIGES SUCK BECAUSE YOOH CANT GET MARRIED TO SOME1 YOOH LUV AND YOOH GET MARRIED TO SOME 1 YOOH DONT NOE AND THAT MIGHT END UP BEING SOMEONE YOOH HATE!!!!!!!!!!

[annalucky]

eh. Arranged marriages can be good and bad at times. I wouldn't want to be in one though. I asked my parents about it once and they said that if I wanted them too they would.

Even if you have to, it's your grandfather that's deciding and your dad says that he'd never allow it. I think your dad is gonna win on this one.

[ParanoidAndroid]

^thanks! but right now, I think I won't mind an arranged marriage since it seems like no one would be willing to marry me.... sorry something emo happened and i just feel like hating the world and being optimistic to dreadful opportunities

[annalucky]

^aren't you still a teenager? You still have your whole life ahead of you. You be thinking that no one would be willing to marry you just now because you don't know what might happen in a few years.


edit//

If you're profile's right, you just entered adulthood.

[ParanoidAndroid]

yup i just did lol

[Soleil]

Due to religious beliefs it happens a lot. But some have choices and can have a say (key word: some) in what they think about their futur life partner. I think you can have arranged marriages but to a certain extent where you have a say in YES or NO.

[sw33tii_kagome]

arrange marriages r old.. ppl dun do tat anymore.. plus i think its rong.. its like punishing urself.. since ur marrying sumone yu dun love..

[Eryi]

^Not nessecarily, my relatives had an arranged marriage and they're deeply in love. Just shows that if both of them take some time and know each other better they'll find to love one another, but that doesn't happen in all cases.

I have this feeling that my parents were arranged in a marriage with my father because my mother doesn't like me knowing her love life. :/ I could be wrong.

[WindSorcerous]

Marriage should be between two people who love each other...

[Oranite]

i think its rong. people should marry someone they love.

Yea I agree. My parents are kinda in an arranged marriage... my grandparents on both my mom and dads side got together and highly influenced and/or told them to marry each other even though they didn't like each other at all. Im not sure if there was any agreement between them and probably will never find out... but my parents never loved each other and still regrets alot of what they have done. I think the only reason they stay together is because of my little 2 brothers(big mistake). Since now that I'm independent and all... So yea I highly agree with you that you should marry someone out of love and not on what your parents say and if you parents or grandparents say that they'll disown you because you don't agree with theit demands then say screw them. I know that if I'm ever forced into an arranged marrage I would rather leave and suffer a harsh early independent life(if they actually did it before I was independent) then to comply with my parents wishes. (though I'm pretty sure that such a thing would never happen because my dad tells me every day that I should never marry someone because of what there parents say. Marry out of love)

[*mona lisa*]

Arranged marriages are traditional in India. Everyone in my family was married this way, so I guess I'd have to suffer this fate as well. The thing with arranged marriages is that they actually work. Not all the time, if lets say you have an abusive husband, but most of the time, you learn to live with the other person no matter what their faults may be. Divorces are very uncommon, and no one wants to disappoint their parents so most people try to make an arranged marriage work. You may have heard this, but in America, you fall in love and then get married. In India, you get married, then you fall in love. Most people are happy with their lives in an arranged marriage, so I don't understand why people say it's such a bad thing. Look at the divorce rates of an area where love marriages are common and you'll see what I'm talking about.

[HuGzNKissEs]

My cousin's parents are all for arranged marriages...like 3 people have offered dowrys on her for their sons. I'm talkin about A LOT of money like thousands of dollars & stuff.......but I think they trust her to find a guy for herself. She has a good head on her shoulders & i dont think her parents will force her to marry someone.

Personally...i think its completely stupid...its definately a reason for divorce after a short time.

[ParanoidAndroid]

Arranged marriages are traditional in India. Everyone in my family was married this way, so I guess I'd have to suffer this fate as well. The thing with arranged marriages is that they actually work. Not all the time, if lets say you have an abusive husband, but most of the time, you learn to live with the other person no matter what their faults may be. Divorces are very uncommon, and no one wants to disappoint their parents so most people try to make an arranged marriage work. You may have heard this, but in America, you fall in love and then get married. In India, you get married, then you fall in love. Most people are happy with their lives in an arranged marriage, so I don't understand why people say it's such a bad thing. Look at the divorce rates of an area where love marriages are common and you'll see what I'm talking about.

But I'm not Indian nor American.... I'm Chinese/Filipino