All you need is a cinderella gown, vingette Options

[Gypsy Eyes]

Here is an autobiographical vingette I wrote for my english class. Enjoy, comments and critism are always welcome.
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All You Need is a Cinderella Gown

A small child sits in the hospital waiting room with her father. The little girl looked around the large room with awe —and fear. She shivered and shrunk into her chair, huddling near her father. Her long blonde hair was combed, curled, primped and pinned on the top of her head. It looked perfect, almost angelic. She wore an elegant white dress — layers and layers of satin and chiffon, decked in lace and intricate beadings. Upon her head rested a veil of woven satin flowers and lace. At a first glance, she looked like a princess or even a queen on her wedding day. Her stomach jittered with what her mother liked to call butterflies, so she looked down at her white patent leather mary janes tapping them together to pass the time. She quietly hummed a song they had sung in church that morning while staring at the piece of chocolate cake she was holding, wondering when they would be allowed in.
After what seemed like forever, a man dressed in a long white coat came and motioned for them to follow him down a long bright hallway that appeared to be as clean as the big room. The girl shivered and ran to catch up with her father, the clicking of her first pair of heels echoing through the silent corridor. It seemed like she had been walking for days when they finally stopped at a large metal door. The man opened it and stuck his head inside, whispering to someone within. He took a deep breath outside then entered the room, motioning for them to follow. As soon as they were inside the man quickly bowed his head slightly and exited, exhaling very loudly the second he left the room. The girl looked around in confusion, she had never seen a place like this before; blinking machines and tubes everywhere. It smelled like a mixture of hand sanitizer and hot water bottles. She did not see her grandfather anywhere. She stepped around the blinking machine and gasped. Right in front of her was a sickly, yellow, shrunken looking creature — covered in wrinkles and draped in sheets. Her father ran over to the far side of the creature immediately and began speaking softly to it. The creature seemed to groan and make sickly noises in return. Her father motioned for her to come over, but she shook her head in disgust. The scent was overpowering and she did not want to be near the thing, where the smell would be stronger. In return, he gave her a ‘come-here-now-or-be-grounded’ look, so she ran right over, not wanting to be punished. She kneeled down next to her father, trying to hold her breath as long as possible. The creature rolled over and turned its head towards them. She couldn’t help but gasp when she saw its face. The sickly creature was her beloved grandpa.
Her grandfather smiled, seeing his granddaughter in her communion gown. He couldn’t make it to the ceremony so they decided to have her go to him, in her dress and all — including a piece of communion cake. It was chocolate with vanilla pudding, his favorite. She had even saved a precious sugar rose — just for him. Although she was a young child, she could tell that her grandpa wasn’t doing well. His crystal blue eyes didn’t have the usual mischievous glint. He started to eat the thick wedge of chocolate cake and grinned. “Sure as hell beats the goddamned hospital food.” The three of them laughed, glad to be together again. As he ate the cake and listened to his granddaughter babble about her latest accomplishment that familiar glint crept back into his eyes. The girl told her grandpa a new joke she had learned at school. He laughed and laughed, not one of those polite laughs where you don’t think something’s funny but you feel bad so you fake it. No this wasn’t one of those; it was an all out stomach rumbling, goodhearted laugh. The young girl smiled, her grandpa always laughed at her jokes, even if she knew they weren’t funny.
It was starting to get late, so the father told them they had better be going. It was a school night and the little girl still had homework to do. They got up slowly and bid the old man goodbye, the daughter going in for a big hug. It was his good old bear hug. The grandfather hugged and kissed them both what seemed like a million times before they left. The little girl went to bed thinking in her second grade mind that her grandfather was going to be ok and live forever.
Later that night the old man died peacefully in his sleep. He had lost his six month battle with cancer. The disease had spread all throughout his body, damaging his liver and lungs. It is now nine years later, and that little girl is all grown up now. She still dreams about that night, but sleeps peacefully knowing that she made her beloved grandfather’s last night a memorable one. And to think, all she needed was a Cinderella gown.

[*stephinika*]

jackie...wow, that was beautiful. really. i loved it.

[KissMe2408]

That really was touching :) I love the title by the way..
At first I thought her mom was going to be in the hospital bed, and i was so relieved when it was her grandpa, cuz then it's wasn't so cliche, you know what i mean?
But i loved it :) Everything flowed nicely :) Keep on writing :)

[Gypsy Eyes]

Thank you very much <3

and by the way KissMe2408 an autobiographical vingette means it's about yourself, so it wouldn't matter if it was cliche or not