Three Souls, a draft really in need of feedback |
 Sep 15 2005, 07:08 PM
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#1
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 Some 1 plz find me, help me find my way..my way bak 2 bliss  Group: Member Posts: 288 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,748  |
Three Souls
i miss you i miss wat we had the change can never be reversed as the summer dew drops from the evening sky three bodies one soul one mind one heart as tight as a knot chains that can never be broken but asumptions were wrong things never do last memories washed away in the rain three little kids that grew up grew up and were lost in the abyss of the crowd crowded hall ways gigantic streets unforgetable days and depressing nights teary eyes and momentous laughs but thats all gone now its all the past... its just a draft.. so feedback would really be helpful |
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| *mishyerr* |
Sep 15 2005, 08:42 PM
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#2
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hmm, so lovely already~
I think a little bit more of 'vivid description' (as we call it in English ._.) would help it though.. ^___^ |
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| *torngemini* |
Sep 16 2005, 06:18 PM
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#3
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it was great but yeah ... just be careful of those spelling mistakes
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Sep 17 2005, 02:59 PM
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#4
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Some 1 plz find me, help me find my way..my way bak 2 bliss Group: Member Posts: 288 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,748 |
thanks i relly wanted 2 submit this sumwere but i didn relly kno were
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