Letting Go.., of the person you care for... Options

[steezahh]

How can i say this; i used to like someone;but i guess my feelings just changed; so i dont really want to be such close friends with this person anymore; but they currently want to do EVERYTHING with me! lets just say me and this person are like best friends! its me [girl], and my friend [guy]; what can i do to not be so attached to this person; yet still keep a still friendship with this person; i mean i still truly care for this person; we have done most everything together in the past.
Oh another problem is i always have this person on my mind; but i know i have to stop feeling so close; but then another part of me just wants to keep being the best of friends with this person. and i already tried not calling him; waiting for him to call but i could not help myself and i called just to hear his voice!!
PLEASE HELP! also; if you're dealing or delt with the same issue please post!

[lit0chinagirl]

hmm i'm a little confused. you say your feelings changed and all for them but then you're eager to hear their voice? i mean do you know that you can't be with that person or something so you gotta let go? maybe i'm just slow.

[DEbmxer553]

Ok, now are you two just friends or are you going out? Because your feelings....in my opinion.....describe the feelings you have for someone when you hav a crush on them. Maybe you are afraid to get closer because you are afriad something will happen? Maybe im wrong but that is how it appears to me. Just well, maybe spend even more time with him and maybe try to figure out if he likes you. But if you really feel like you should take some time apart which i dont advise, tell him the truth dont avoid him just tell him the straight up truth because he obviously cares for you and if you care for him then that would be the right thing to do.

[steezahh]

Thanks, for respoding so quick! But yeah he kinda likes me from what his best friend told me; we are best friends so we are kinda close but no, we dont go out! Umm..yeah i guess just beign so close to him i need to still be near him but i dont know how to make it so that we can still be friends; but not get so attached; i dont want to start having a crush on him. Does this help a bit?

[*anubis*]

i went through about the same thing over the summer.

if you want to still be good friends with him, but not have those kind of romantic feelings for him anymore, seeing him will only make it worse.

no matter how much you may feel for him, if you think this is the best for the both of you, you have to not see him for a while--let yourself take a break from him.

i didn't think it would work for me.

but it did.

and i'm pretty sure it'll work for you. don't completely ignore him or anything--cuz that would only confuse him. just try seeing and talking to him as little as possible for as long as you need.

maybe between 2 weeks and a month. yeah, it may seem like a long time, but it actually goes by pretty damn fast.

once you stop seeing him, you'll stop thinking about him--or at least think about him a lot less.

and maybe then, when things have calmed down, you can try and set a barrier between your feelings and him. i'm not saying like build a wall between you guys, but like--try to keep your feelings from seeping in to him.

and if you get used to it, it may not make much sense or sound stupid, but you'll get used to the fact that hes "just a friend"

and you might realize that your attraction for him has faded or gone away.

[steezahh]

WOW^ thanks. That i think is going to work. yeah thanks again!

[yuna*]

um, I kinda had the same situation as you before..though I'm bit confused about what you said up there..but anyways I understand enough to continue...

I used to do what you said, tried not to think about him, because I know we can never be together. Well as time passed, weeks, months, years, I pretty much soon forgot about him. 1) I met new people in my life 2) I was determind not to fall for guys again in highschool to concentrate on my studies I pretty much lost the feeling I had for him before. But as you stated, you and him are friends right? Then I suggest you not to ignore him, he will drift away if you stop having contact with him. Well maybe not, maybe he'll come back and bug you for a real friend. =) But yea, don't like play hide and seek with him..if you just want to maintain as friends, I suggest you keep your distants apart. Not TOO apart, don't spend as much time together since you have feelings for him..because you might find yourself attach to him even more, hah, like me. =X...but yea time will erase your feelings away..

[lit0chinagirl]

ohh alright. it makes much more sense to me. well i don't know if it helps but when what anubis said is pretty much it. i just split with my ex and well i don't have any classes with him but i see him around the halls a bit and the feelings sort of come back again but when i'm not near him and with other people, i'm fine because my mind is elsewhere and he isn't around to remind me. awhile, it should be fine. take a brief break from him or just don't have him around as much. meet some new people. get closer to some of your other friends. i mean i got my friends to make me feel better =] man i'm nothing without them. good luck. i hope you can still keep him in your life. you wouldn't want to lose someone that was once so important.

[mzislandpinay]

omg i have the same problem.. but we are not BEST friends we are lyk GREAT friends. lol but my story (in the shortest version ever..lol)

Before i use to lyk him and he use to lyk me.. did everyting together then all of a sudden he stop lyking me.. but my "crush" for him still went on. I tried to do everything I can just to hear/be near him. Then all of a sudden i had no feelings what so ever.. so i stopped all the flirting calling.. everything! and then the next week i hear he lyks me .. and then i don't even try to go for him.. but deep down in my soul iwanted to be near him.. but i said no to myself..

so0o.. if you don't want to be near him yet then you want to.. be limited.. don't TALK to him everydaii and try not to think/see him everydaii. It takes little by little to let someoen go.. yet if you do this maybe at one point in time.. you'll be able to let go and just kall him a friend.

[steezahh]

i'm so happy im not the only one going through all this! thanks for all your advice; it should really help!