good night |
 Sep 8 2005, 04:51 PM
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#1
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 My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.  Group: Member Posts: 640 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 150,342  |
in the rain
drowning the pain away saying goodbye to day good day and goodnight i'll say as i'm drifting away |
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Sep 9 2005, 05:24 PM
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#2
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
... Boring. If you're going to make the last word rhyme throughout the entire poem, at least don't use the same word twice (away and away).
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Sep 9 2005, 05:29 PM
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#3
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 479 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 223,199 |
It's kinda corny...like a Dr. Seuss poem. Try to keep it balanced and also listen to the above ^ advice too.
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Sep 11 2005, 01:12 PM
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#4
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 no news is good news... Group: Member Posts: 123 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 232,063 |
I thought it was okay.
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