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15 years of life
akjsd
post Aug 4 2005, 07:42 PM
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you spend 15 years of your life, trying to learn how to live,
but everytime you try, you're told you're wrong by the insensitive .
remember how your childhood goal was to just somehow belong ?
and how whenever you cried, mommy would scream at you, demanding you be strong ?
remember how daddy used to sit there, not caring at all ?
you had thought your family was supposed to catch you whenever you fall .
you thought best friend bracelets really meant friendship forever,
did you see it coming ? you should have been more clever .
where were the shoulders to cry on when you needed them most ?
and where are the memories that you used to hold on to close ?
everyone that you've learned to love, is taken away,
you watch as the others take charge and paint your life gray .
15 years of life, and this is what i've been taught,
happiness doesnt come until pain has been brought,
why bring your hopes up, only to let yourself down ?
people play with your heart, till your beat, pushed down to the ground .
you need to learn how to say good-bye, how to let go,
this is what schools should teach us, this is what we should know .
 
lKVNiiKINKYl
post Aug 4 2005, 07:47 PM
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that reminds me of so much
you make me depressed but i like your writing its good
best line is
where were the shoulders to cry on when you needed them most ?
and where are the memories that you used to hold on to close ?
 
..:loveee.NuTTii
post Aug 6 2005, 07:29 AM
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Wow...that was depressing. Very dramatic. I liked it.

15 years of life, and this is what i've been taught,
happiness doesnt come until pain has been brought,

Those two lines gave me chills.
 
illumineering
post Aug 7 2005, 08:05 PM
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This strikes me the way Pink Floyd's the Wall did. It's really self-destructive and a victimized perspective. I felt this line was the most poignant...

QUOTE
everyone that you've learned to love, is taken away,
you watch as the others take charge and paint your life gray .


Wow that's got a lot of passive-aggressive overtones to it, too.

If you could write like this in a way that will help you purge these memories instead of solidiflying them, you'll be a brilliant writer. These are universal feelings that a lot of people can relate to.

It's unfortunate that you have the life experiences to write from this perspective, but it is showing the beginning of an extraordinary ability to write about human experiences and emotions...very few people can do this without being overly dramatic and sappy. You've got a gift...cherish it!
 

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