I Lost My Best Friend Today, What should I do? Options

[REBELnDISGUISE]

No one ever told me life ain't fair, that people won't always be there. But I've learned that now from first hand expeirence. Today on 7/25/05... something horrible happened. No a family member did not die, no I was not in some freak accidence where I got really messed up...But something close to it. The person who was my best friend just left. It started awhile ago when something happened to her. Some personal issue which she would not tell me. So I thought... wow...some best friend eh? Who doesn't tell me when something is bothering her. So I tried to make her jealous to get her to fess up. I told her that I replaced her someone else named Jennifer Li. Which is similar to Jennifer Jung I guess. Well...then we stopped talking. She still would not tell me. So I took her off my buddylist cause I couldn't stand to look at her SN. But then I forgot I did that and since then I've thought she blocked me. So I waited till today to fix everything. But by that time it was already to late. She said we should just be friends. Then she said we shouldn't talk at all. Losing her is like losing a family member of mine that was really close to me. In a way...I did consider her family. Which sounds stupid I know...But I did. Her and I went through a lot together. We went to the movies. When ever I had a date we would double. We told eachother everything. Or so I thought. We would always comfort each other by telling one another that it's okay...it's their lose...stuff like that. When ever either of us needed someone to talk to...we had each other. Now she goes and do something like this. I can ruin her friendship like that with Cheryl Ng. I could tell her all the things Jennifer has lied to her about. But I won't.

Sorry it's so long. Does anyone have advice for what I should do? Should I get over it? Should I chase after her? What? All advice will be greatly appreciated.=)

[*RiC3xBoy*]

If you really want to stay best friends, tell her what happened and that you tried to get her jealous on purpose. If she does truly consider you her best friend, she should be able to understand a little. Although, for next time, I dont think trying to get a FRIEND jealous is the best idea.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

if you really want her back as a friend tell her ^ basically that.

explain to her how much she means to you. but dont creep her out.

[nishikigoi]

I agree with the person above. Just be honest. Tell her what you did, why you did it, and how you feel about it now.

[REBELnDISGUISE]

I agree with the person above. Just be honest. Tell her what you did, why you did it, and how you feel about it now.

Everyone has valid points...but uh...don't you think I've tried that already? So can anyone offer me advice that I have not yet tried?

[SillyCourtney]

Well I don't know, if you've already told her then she's probably hurt that you did that. Not a great way to keep a friends trust. so, the only advice I can give you is with time, earn back her trust. Yea, it might take longer than you want, but if you really want her to be your best friend again you'll do it. You have to prove to her you're really and truly sorry. And next time, don't do something like that. If she doesn't want to talk about it, don't pressure her.

[*RiC3xBoy*]

Everyone has valid points...but uh...don't you think I've tried that already? So can anyone offer me advice that I have not yet tried?

Well, when you told ehr what happened, how did she respond? Did she discard you off? If so, then I think she isnt worth it.

[xtreme_<3]

off topic// first thing i thought -- wow, you look nice eep, sorry, back on topic --- if you wanna skip to the advice, look at the one in bold.

well, just like that person up there said. just give it time and earn her trust back. i know what it's like to lose a bestfriend. i have a best friend who i've been friends with since before pre-k! but then ..lately, we've gone our seperate ways. she has her friends and well ..i have none, since she was basically my only one, sad i know -_- anyways, what i'm trying to say is basically she ditched me, her best friend, for what, popularity? better "friends" that don't even really appreciate her? coming from a person who knows a thing or two about these things, i think all you can do is earn her trust back slowly and remember, no matter how long it takes, if her friendship is really worth all this trouble, then it really doesnt matter how long it takes, as long as your friendship with her is finally mended. you seem really sincere and honest, so i hope everything goes great for you two.
--also, sorry for this long post and the story -_-

[sharerol]

Okay, so Kevin, if you reply to this, I'm not going to go on for 20 pages arguing with you. You know why? Because it would be just like the previous school year, and I'm sure both of us didn't like it very much. Why do you care anyway? You're not going to see her much. You'll be in high school.

And what kind of friend are you to try to ruin her other friendships? Oh, like when you were mad at her, you tried to tell me lies about her, just to make me think badly about her. And you considered doing the same to her. What kind of friend does that? And well if she treats you badly, obsessing over her is pathetic.

[KELLYYY]

I can ruin her friendship like that with Cheryl Ng.

Get over it.

Cheryl, ily.

[technicolour]

If you really want to stay best friends, tell her what happened and that you tried to get her jealous on purpose. If she does truly consider you her best friend, she should be able to understand a little. Although, for next time, I dont think trying to get a FRIEND jealous is the best idea.

Uh yea. That's what makes sense.

If you want her back - chase/tell her

if not..well..

[*danielle_x3*]

So I took her off my buddylist cause I couldn't stand to look at her SN

I did that when I was mad at my best friend as well. My best friend and I would always have fights . . but then we'd see each other and then start talking. Then poof, we would be best friends again. I think you just need to communicate with her again, I'm sure she misses you as much as you miss her

[sheepy]

are you sure you just want her a best friend? well it's really your fault i think, everyone should be entitled to a space of privacy but you could try apologizing.

[lovescream]

No one ever told me life ain't fair, that people won't always be there.

Boy, if no one ever told you that life isn't fair, you better think twice. Life is never fair, and it shouldn't have been from the day you were born. anyways, you're still young. you can get over it. People are always going to tell you that they'll "always be there for you" but they'll eventually leave you. Unless you could tell the future that they're not going to leave you, you can't trust anyone to be there by your side for the rest of your life. Get over it is all I can say to you. Plus, what kind of best friend is she if she won't even tell you what's bothering her? Not what I consider a best friend.

Oh, and I sorta agree with the person above me.

[dragyn]

Simply tell her.

You say you've tried already. I'm not sure I believe you entirely. You have to explain everything, instead of just saying things like "I couldn't stand to look at your sn, so I took you off my buddylist and forgot." You have to tell her how you were feeling, and that you're SORRY.

Also, try to understand that there are some things people don't want to talk about no matter how close you are to them. I don't want to make you think that anything like this happened to her, in case it didn't, and you freak out for no reason, but I was sexually harassed a while back, and I don't talk to anyone about it except my mother and my counselor. I have a made up reason that I go to a counselor for whenever anyone asks me. I do not tell my best friend about that. But, I do tell her everything else. Don't take it as an insult that she didn't tell you, and also, understand that sometimes, it's HER life, and HER choice whether she tells you things or not. Don't try and force her to tell you things that she obviously doesn't want to talk about.

p.s. If you really did tell her everything (i.e., your feelings, that you're sorry, that you were stupid) and she just blew you off, she's not worth all the fuss.

[REBELnDISGUISE]

Okay, so Kevin, if you reply to this, I'm not going to go on for 20 pages arguing with you.  You know why?  Because it would be just like the previous school year, and I'm sure both of us didn't like it very much.  Why do you care anyway?  You're not going to see her much.  You'll be in high school.

And what kind of friend are you to try to ruin her other friendships?  Oh, like when you were mad at her, you tried to tell me lies about her, just to make me think badly about her.  And you considered doing the same to her.  What kind of friend does that?  And well if she treats you badly, obsessing over her is pathetic.

blah blah blah...Cher... They weren't lies. J.J. told me to tell you they were cause she didn't want you to be mad at her. So as her best friend at the time... I made it look like I was a complete liar just so you wouldnnt be pissed at her. Couldn't you see that? Are you so dense? J.J. complained about you all the time. Saying how she can't stand you...and if she tells you off you'd stop talking to her and she would have no one to talk to for an entire year at Hill...how you would make Jessica stop talking to her...blah blah blah...how you're so stupid that you didn't know you could return things...how you're afraid of getting robbed yet you bring out all you're money for everyone to see...blah blah blah...if I continue, I could write a freakin' novel about what J.J. thinks about you.

[REBELnDISGUISE]

I did that when I was mad at my best friend as well.  My best friend and I would always have fights . . but then we'd see each other and then start talking.  Then poof, we would be best friends again.  I think you just need to communicate with her again, I'm sure she misses you as much as you miss her

Gosh I hope so...

[REBELnDISGUISE]

Boy, if no one ever told you that life isn't fair, you better think twice. Life is never fair, and it shouldn't have been from the day you were born. anyways, you're still young. you can get over it. People are always going to tell you that they'll "always be there for you" but they'll eventually leave you. Unless you could tell the future that they're not going to leave you, you can't trust anyone to be there by your side for the rest of your life. Get over it is all I can say to you. Plus, what kind of best friend is she if she won't even tell you what's bothering her? Not what I consider a best friend.

Oh, and I sorta agree with the person above me.

The whole no one told me life aint fair thing I quoted from a song I wrote about Jennifer.

[iTS PATiLLA xP]

I know best friends are suppose to tell each other everything.. but sometimes there's just.. certain reasons that make it hard I guess. Like sheepy said.. it is kind of your fault for ignoring her and stuff. I mean, if things are going so hard for her that she's not even ready to tell her own best friend, what makes you think you getting mad at her is going to make her feel any better? Anyways.. I think you should just wait a while and then just talk to her like nothing's wrong, then go from there. If she brings it up, just talk about it then.

Err.. by the way, why would you want to ruin her friendships with other people in the first place? ... If my best friend and me got into a fight and one of us told out the stuff I entrusted him with, I wouldn't even want to speak with him anymore.

[demolished]

- buy her a few of See's candies chocolate box with a real flower attach to a hand-made card.

- 1A. on Sunday Morning, drop a Denny box meal (breakfast) in front of the dooor
1B. Get her a ballon with a string to wrap around the meal box
1C. Write a meaningful message on the ballon with a permanet marker
1D. (show you're being meaningful)

- message her .. like a normal day
(act like nothing happens and dont talk about it unless she want to talk about it)

- tell her everything that she should know that you really want to to say.

- if you dont like any of those idea, just be creative to her with something. When you buy things, dont rely on things to be perfect enough to help her. It's about you and how you want her to think of you by being creative. Express yourself with some sort of art.

[REBELnDISGUISE]

I know best friends are suppose to tell each other everything.. but sometimes there's just.. certain reasons that make it hard I guess. Like sheepy said.. it is kind of your fault for ignoring her and stuff. I mean, if things are going so hard for her that she's not even ready to tell her own best friend, what makes you think you getting mad at her is going to make her feel any better? Anyways.. I think you should just wait a while and then just talk to her like nothing's wrong, then go from there. If she brings it up, just talk about it then.

Err.. by the way, why would you want to ruin her friendships with other people in the first place? ... If my best friend and me got into a fight and one of us told out the stuff I entrusted him with, I wouldn't even want to speak with him anymore.

First off...I've tried talking to her like nothing's wrong. But on AIM she's all "You're not a good friend..." blah blah blah. She only has guts on aim.
Second off...It's only one friendship I could ruin which is her's with Cheryl (Cb:Sharerol). The entire time I was her bestfriend which was like a year...Cheryl still thought she was Jennifer's best friend. I would get mad at Jennifer for not clearing things up with Cheryl and letting her know that Jennifer didn
t like her and they weren't best friends. But it hurt when Jennifer told me on aim that Cheryl was a better friend than I was. When all she would complain was Cheryl. She never complained about family much..school...just Cheryl.