Poem, It's not very good. |
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 Jun 30 2005, 10:46 PM
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#1
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 Crying Behind Blind Eyes  Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967  |
I wrote this pretty fast, it doesn't really make sense.
------------------------ I think I'll stop speaking, And I'll stop hearing, Just so I can tune you out, And scream inside my head. I'm drying my tears, With your blood-stained skin, And moving on, So I don't have to see this town again. I'm burying all of the corpses, I've kept in my closet, And burning down my house, To leave no evidence. I'm taking my favorite shirt, The one with the heart over the chest, Your favorite one, The shirt I always cried in. I'm forgetting my name, And picking yours apart, Inhaling and exhaling, So I don't forget my part. I'm walking to the graveyard, To lay a rose on mama's grave, To whisper a final prayer, So that my soul she may one day save. I'm playing in the park, Swinging on the swingset, As the little girl's jump rope, And the boys jump in the mud. I'm driving as fast as I can, To get the hell away, Watching the sun go down, Saying goodbye to another day. So now I wear a red ribbon, All day, everyday, It covers my wrists, And all the scars you left me with. |
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Jul 1 2005, 04:41 PM
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#2
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mood: content Group: Member Posts: 2,063 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 42,325 |
I think you get a little off topic when you start talking about your mama's grave, but other than that, very well written, I love the rhymes. Once again, it sounds like it would be a good song.
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Jul 1 2005, 10:37 PM
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#3
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Oooh, oooh!
I love it. A VERY strong ending. Lovely job. =) |
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Jul 9 2005, 01:35 AM
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#4
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Mr. Hottie Group: Member Posts: 406 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 104,225 |
nice.
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