Getting over someone?, How... Options

[MeanBastard]

I just got out of a 1 year relationship and I find that getting over that person that I love is hard as hell. She and I are still good friends, but everytime I talk to her hurts so bad. I don't want to ruin this friendship like how I ruined the relationship, but I don't know how to get over it. Post your expeiences?

[cookieskater2]

For me I was first mad at her...so I sorta ignored her...then we became friends again and I couldn't really bare it like you, knowing that it's not the same...but I never got over it...later on, I just told her I still loved her and we actually got back together and have been together now for 9 months. I dunno really what else to say. I've never really gotten over this girl I guess.

[timeflies51]

My story's a bit different. Mine was simply a crush at first. After two months I found out he didn't like me... But here I am, seven months later, loving him more than ever...

*sigh* I've given up even trying. I'll get over him when I get over him.

[left_alone]

You can only heal by time..

Or you could simply forget about her..but that is pretty hard to do.

I know replacing someone isn't what you need right now, but that isn't what I'm suggesting. Maybe you should just start searching for another person that will stay commited to you.

Love hurts. I know...

[CrazayChristian]

It's been 2 years, and we never even went out. I just got to know her, and..well yeah.

2 years of me trying to get over her, and so far, I've failed.

Prayers, Time, and friends.

That's how you heal.

[technicolour]

Over time it should eventually fade but sometimes it's hard as hell. You have to keep yourself busy with other things and not think about her. Work out...read [ha ha]...watch movies..write a book...go to hawaii.... I just kept myself busy, and my mind on other things.

[yummy_delight]

i'm over it. but it took me a few months. ironically, it took me longer than the total amount of time we were together. anyways, i think time heals all. i'm finally over it.

//edit//come to think of it, i'm probably not over it. i saw him for the first time in a year and a half and i went through all the trouble of trying to look smoking hot. and then we barely said two words to each other. for some reason this bothers me. i didn't expect him to come crawling back. i was expecting... i don't know.

yeah okay great way to make me rethink my whole life.

[mouse_3k]

it is hard as hell but u will get over it. I got over my first love by just losing contact with him for a while and finding another love which I just found so its been about a year before actually getting over my first love. Since I am over him, We talk now and we are friends still.

[sheepy]

it's extremely hard. and you'll think it'll be easier for me because my guy kind of 'cheated' but it really isnt. well at first we started talking because i really didnt want to ruin the friendship. but after a while i realized, friendship? mhmm yeah, not to mention he was a sucky bf, he's not a very dependable friend. soo.. i completely do not talk to him, but i dont ingore him. i mean if i see him, i'll talk. yeah.. i don't know. it was extremely hard, and at times i still wonder if i like him or not. oh well.

[inthemudhole]

There isn't really a set way how to get over somebody. It really depends upon the people involved and how the relationship went.
I know this has already been said and always will be said, but you just have to wait it out, I suppose... see what happens and see what comes next.
Good luck with that.

[banthisaccountno...]

I don't really know... I still haven't gotten over my last girlfriend, and it's been.. 2-3 months since she broke up with me.
Time heals, I hope.

[Smilessss]

i broke up wit sum1 dat i really like... and its not easy fo him to heal up or get ova...and fo sum reason...i thot i had gotten ova it...but i realized dat i havent...

[xaznxehgix]

coming out of a 7 year relationship....the best advice that i can give you...is time...it takes a lot of time!

[gotahemmi55]

he's exactly right on the time thing, but there's something else. Be careful about the "friends" part. It can cause your feelings to come right back, even if his/her's don't and that can make being around that person almost painful. I'd step back, take my space for a while, and then try to be friends if I was you.

[*danielle_x3*]

i recently got out of a 13-month relationship. i thought that i'd be fine . . but the next day he got a girlfriend. it hurt real bad. i thought to myself, "wow, that was fast". it made me think that he thought our relationship was a joke. eh, but i try to forget about it, but that's pretty hard. only time will heal.

[enyceXaddiction]

well obviously you cant just go i wanna get over her and get over her. since it was an 1 year relationship its going to take time. or maybe you'll never even get over her. you never know. it takes time. or get involve with someone else, that helps.

[MrElsewhere]

i got out of a 11 month relationship a few months back. It hurt like f*ck to even see her for like 2 months. But after that it just started getting less. *shrug* time took its effect, i think.

[aznhunnie6o1]

The easiest way for me to get over someone is to hate them... But you don't wanna do that... Just try.. avoid her and go out with your friends. Have fun, eat icecream, pig out. I dunno.. Sorry about the break up...

[cleec]

The only way to somewhat get over someone is to start crushin' on someone new

And even then, you are never completely over the person. The reasons why you liked them so much in the first place don't just disappear because you two didn't work out, but that's just something you have to learn to deal with. Move on, it will get easier.

[REBELnDISGUISE]

I just got out of a 1 year relationship and I find that getting over that person that I love is hard as hell. She and I are still good friends, but everytime I talk to her hurts so bad. I don't want to ruin this friendship like how I ruined the relationship, but I don't know how to get over it. Post your expeiences?

I agree...it is something difficult to get over. I never would've been able to until I met someone knew. It takes time, but you'll never truly be over 'em.

[Mizz Rizza]

getting over someone isn't the easiest thing to do
im sure she's sad about just about as much as you
and both of you guys will be sad for a while
all i can say is give it time
it's hard talking to them
but think about how she's feeling

i guess it's kinda hard for me to giv advice cuz i dont know why you guys broke up : /

[*Azarel*]

OMG TSZ HO. :[


'kay, I suck with advice.

[ag3nt_sm17h]

I wish I could help more, but until then I'll give you all that I can give...

SMILEYS!

[jennyjenny]

Ugh,
I want to know this too.

well, my friend got dumped buy this guy she's been dating for almost... 9 months? Or 7? And a month later she got asked out by this guy and they went out for a month and he dumped him, and i don't think she realized what she had.

And now she's a mess and it just seems like there's nothing I can say that's good enough because she just can't get over him.

So any advice about what I should say?

[xldubaliciousx]

Hmm.. Getting over someone is tough. I agree. I don't really know how. But for sure do NOT try going out with someone else. I tried that.. And yeah I thought I would distract myself and therefore get over them quicker.. But ah it doesn't work that way.

[Bobblehead425]

well it took me a while but after actually talking to him i realized he's rlly...he's just so wrong. now i've been crushing on this guy for about i dont know 2 weeks? haha!

[Jessi B 69]

Well ok, i about 3 months ago i got out of a pritty serious relationship, not until afterwards did i realise id messed things up my self, altho they did say to me that its was them not me, they were jus too dependant on me, They have sum1 else now, and were still the best of friends. Its hurts to see her with sum1 new. I wanna get over them but i jus cant seem to i wish i could find sum1 new, but they seem to be the only erson who was reely bothered about me.I Havnt had the easiest of lifes but ive come out the other end ok. Thisso far is one of the hardest things ive had to do. I need to move on i jus dont kno how. And now they have sum1 new makes it 10 times harder!! i dont wanna loose our friendship because were pritty much in seprible when together but i need to get over this. They dont feel like i do. If someone can help me on my big problem id love for you to.

Jess x

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[maia_dc]

You can't really do anything immedietly.
All you can do is wait for your heart to feel better, and in the meantime enjoy being single. Avoid all thoughts of "getting back together" because it's unlikely and painful.

I just waited and waited. Until I was over him.

[lassipiktunn]

getting over can sometimes be the hardest thing ever... sometimes u know u can't go on but u still try to hold on to anything that u can hold on to.. and then comes a point when u have nothing to hold on to and it hurts it hurts real bad but there is not the question to let go anymore cuz there is nothing to hold on to.. some ppl learn it at that time... but lucky ones let go when they know they shouldn't hold on anymore

[Paradox of Life]

I've had this problem before, but now the thought of my ex is absolutely repulsive. I want to throw up everytime I think of him. I don't know if that's much better, but it was better than when I regretted ever telling him to f**k off in the first place.

Think of why you guys broke up. What went wrong and that you made the right decision. Just move on with your life. If you two are still friends, that's the best, so you can stay in communication of each other and treat each other as friends and less boyfriend/girlfriend. Occupy yourself with other things, so you have less time to sulk over your misfortunes.

[pinayprincess]

ahh man... i couldnt get over my boyfriend [still is ] like he broke up w/ me put of no where! i was crying hysterically.. i felt so hurt b/c i reall really like him... i tired to ignor the whole thing, like get over it, but deep inside, i couldnt... it turned out that he kept calling me every night... i then finally told him how i felt, we hooked up again

[royalfreshness]

i'm sorta in the same predicament as evil_one. i have the biggest crush on my best friend. the only reason i never told him was because he told me that he didnt see me that way before i could even admit that i had feelings for him.

i've known him for almost 2 years now and i still can't get over him. and it sucks cos in the back of my mind i'm just hoping he would feel the same way one day. i guess the best way to get over someone is to find someone new.

[lassipiktunn]

i guess the best way to get over someone is to find someone new.

thats so true.. lately i've been thinkin bout it ;)

[Ilaem]

Eck! Getting over the one you love SUCKS
No doubt
Sheesh, im going through the same thing
Everything is soooo pointless with out him
But, you'll find someone new
Give it time
You might actuallt like the outcome

*winks*

[audory]

i went out w/ one of my best guy friends for about five months in the eighth grade. towards the end of the relationship, we weren't exactly, per se, going out. it was more like something where we were called gf&&bf, but we weren't really talking or anything. soo, as far as i know, he began to like this other girl in the end. she was one of those people that everyone loves;; perfect, friendly, and pretty in every way. naturally, i felt defensive towards my bf and i was really hurt that he liked her; even though our relationship wasn't going anywhere. and about a week or two later, we broke up and we stayed best friends.. but even still, there's always a drift between us; due to all those unspoken things on my part about that other girl.

now, it's been over a year, and recently, he called the other girl up and told her that he's liked her for a while now. and, even though it's been such a long while, i felt really hurt inside. because she and him grew closer as i grew farther from him, and because he liked her while i was going out, i felt [&&feel] like she's, in a way, replacing me. and i know i'm over him, i think it's more of a second nature reaction b/c of the circumstances.


sorry for all that. but in response to your question: move on by going out and meeting new people. talk to your ex about your relationship. things that go unsaid are often the greatest things you'll ever learn to regret.

[FREEcandies]

It's been a week since my girlfriend of 3 years left me to be with someone else, so yes this is quite difficult. I've found, however, that things like this only helps. Talk about it, share your experience and read about other people's experience. Don't look for guidelines of stages for getting over someone and try to follow them, it will be unsuccessful. Those stages are the observed stages that everyone goes through, NATURALLY. You will experience all those stages, but how long each lasts is ultimately up to you. Getting over someone is a difficult thing but it has to be done. You cannot and should not spend your life in remorse and depression. Really, it seems like the whole world is falling apart right now but it's not. It's your heart that's falling apart and that's understandable. Realize though that time doesn't wait for anybody. So don't stand there and stare; pick up the pieces of your heart and run after it. You will have the chance to make it whole again later.

As far as "being friends" after a relationship. Don't look forward to that, not just yet. Right now just concentrate on YOUR life, and being an INDIVIDUAL again. If seeing her around and talking to her is hurting you, why do it? Don't punish yourself any more than the damage it has already taken. Tell her you can't be a friend, tell her she shouldn't talk to you unless it's something very important. As cold and bitter as that may sound to her, it's the most realistic and logical thing to do. Remind her that it's really not you who's being bitter, it's the whole situation that is bitter. Good luck, I'm still working on mine.

[OhXiet_ItzDonnA]

You probably still have feelings for her but it's ok. It takes time so you'll get over her someday.

[dahoonpride]

it's been three days since we've broken up. sux as hell. the other sucky part is that she's in another continent. damm it why wasn't i born 60 years later when teleporters were invented. so sorry...i have no advice cuz i'm in the same painful boat as you

[smartypants2956]

i know how hard it is... i was with my boyfriend for a year and a half and i totally took him for granted, i didnt realise how much i loved him til we split up four months ago, and now it kills me every day being without him man. im not a soppy person and im only seventeen years old but i just cant forget about him. we still speak because we have mutual friends, and i even recently helped hook him up with his new girlfriend :( she goes to my school and when i look at her i find myself resenting her and thinking nasty things when its just not necessary. he tells me that hes not over me, but i think he is. i have to think to myself that if he loved me, he wouldnt be with her and that stops me from trying to contact him.

the craziest part is, i wasnt really that happy with him. he didnt treat me all that well and theres rumours that he cheated on me!! i feel so ridiculous for loving someone i dont even like, and i feel like i cant tell anyone how i feel. how can you fall out of love!?

i dont know if it possible to get over someone, i think once you fall in love with someone you always will be, but if it wasnt the right relationship, you wont know until you do find the right person. when you're over them you know, and im just not in that place yet so i guess ill have to wait.

[Persona22]

For me it usually runs a certain course:

break up --> angst --> anger --> homocidal rage --> a week or two of chain smoking --> get bored then move on.

[wishforhelsinki]

with me, it was the first guy i really fell hard for. it's hard to tell how i feel now. it's only been 6 months. i haven't dated or anything since. but i'm happy, helping other friends with their relationship & all that stuff. & doing volunteer work. it's nice, helps me take my mind of things like that (like him) & maybe you should do it too :] help out in the world. heh

[itsnever4ever]

sometimes the best way to fall out of love is just to fall into love with someone else, maybe try to get interested in some other people, see what happens