The Girl In The Black Jeans, Poem |
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 Jun 17 2005, 06:14 PM
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#1
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 Crying Behind Blind Eyes  Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967  |
Quick poem I wrote.
------------------------------- He watched her from the corner, Surveying her playful, swaying hips. She danced to her favorite song, As every word softly graced her lips. He took a sip from his martini glass, And took in her blue eyes. She walked gracefully towards him, Anticipating the usual petty lies. He drowned himself in her beauty. And asked her on a walk. She accepted without a fight, And so, amidst the silence they began to talk. He told her of his love for her, How she had caught his eye from afar. She wanted desperately to believe his words, As she turned her attention to the stars. He waited patiently for her response, Willing his new-found angel to speak. She couldn't will her glossy lips to part, To talk to the man she always seemed to seek. He could feel his own tears gathering, And the weak feeling in his knees. She turned away without a word, Leaving him only a memory of the girl in the black jeans. |
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| *not_your_average* |
Jun 17 2005, 08:00 PM
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#2
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Guest |
I love your use of words and the way everything flows.
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Jun 17 2005, 08:19 PM
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#3
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
^ Agreed.
 You're a really good writer. I love the words you choose for everything. I really like this. It flows very well. Nice job! 
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Jun 17 2005, 08:23 PM
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#4
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yerp! Group: Member Posts: 3,489 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 66,454 |
Very sexy. The whole poem was very visual- you have a nice way of choosing the right words.
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Jun 17 2005, 08:58 PM
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#5
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I love you <33333 Group: Member Posts: 2,928 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,404 |
Your very good. I love your use of words. Nice work.
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Jun 17 2005, 08:59 PM
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#6
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 fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
Heart wrenching... Well done..
*Excuse me as I go post shit that doesn't qualify as poetry* |
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