Hanging around with the ex..., Right or wrong in a new relationship? |
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 Jun 8 2005, 01:22 AM
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#1
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 biglamchops  Group: Member Posts: 262 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 149,977  |
You're in a relationship, but your gf/bf still talks to and hangs out with her/his ex. Right or wrong? Where do you draw the line? Reasons....Stories?
In my opinion and experience.... Ex's should have no part in a relationship. There's just too much baggage and it just gets dragged along into the current relationship. Where would I draw the line? First off.... if you know the ex-bf/gf wants the person you're dating back...then they should not talk or see each other. Period My situation... I was dating a girl and it gotten pretty serious. Everything was good for a while. I never once thought that the ex-bf would be a factor in our relationship. She would tell me how awful he was...and how he cheated on her... and you know...stuff that'd boost your ego so you don't have to worry. I knew the ex-bf wanted her back because she told me and would just brush it off and make a joke about it...until one night i saw her cried because they had a serious talk and he told her everything..and how depressed he was because she was with me. Now..being the dumbass that I am...I told her that she could talk to him and hang out once in a while so he and her wouldn't have to feel the way they felt. BAD IDEA!!! As time went by...I found out all this info I didn't want to know...like how they'd probably would be still dating if I never came into her life. He started calling her more..she started calling a lot too...they were basically best-friends. They never really hung out much..probably like once a month...but they would talk on the phone everyday. She still treated me very well....but I started acting like very mean to her because i felt so jealous..threatened. Everything just went downhill.... At that point..it was too late for me to ask her to stop seeing him completely because i realized it was a mistake for them to even contact each other. He even admitted in emails to her that he couldn't be friends with her and need his space or else he'd never be able to move on...but of course...she was like a drug to him and he came back and had to talk to her and see her again. She couldn't cut him off because she'd feel too guilty because he'd go back into a great depression. The right thing to do was to let him cry himself to sleep everynight....time will heal all wounds and he'd get better and move on. Sure she'd feel guilty but she'd have to realize it was better for everyone. I'd be happy, she'd eventually be happy...and he'd finally be able to move on. Cuz reality was... its impossible to move on after a serious relationship if the ex is still your bestfriend. What happened at the end? Well...one day i just couldn't take it anymore and I blew up at her and we broke up. She wanted me back..but I pushed her away because it was the best thing to do. Now...Her and her ex are back together! Well that's my story... |
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Jun 8 2005, 06:46 AM
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#2
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 naïvety Group: Human Posts: 1,303 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 488 |
Hmm.. I think the first mistake started when you told her she could hang out with him again..
 The rest just.. happened. It kinda seems like her ex put on the depression act to take her away from you..You were right to break up with her. Good for you 
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Jun 8 2005, 04:20 PM
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#3
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
it's wrong that the ex should interfere in the relationship, he was just probably putting up an act like Ki$$ said just to make her feel guilty and make her hang out with him. well you did the right thing, breaking up with her before you get hurt even more.
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Jun 8 2005, 05:30 PM
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#4
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 hi. call me linda. Group: Official Member Posts: 8,187 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,475 |
I dunno, I don't think the ex should be involved in the relationship at all. Like you said, once you're in a new relationship, the ex should be dropped and forgotten...
And about your situation, I agree with K!$$ in that you probably shouldn't have told her that she could hang out with her ex. But it was the right thing to break up with her. |
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Jun 8 2005, 09:21 PM
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#5
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 Tasty. Group: Member Posts: 471 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,784 |
thats crazy, but it all depends on the situation really. like i really don't care, as long as there was no left feelings out there, ya kno? my bf now hasn't ever mentioned an ex, hell, i dunno if he even has one. but i never hang around my ex, its just way too weird. so if ur bf/gf does hang around with his/her ex, and u have a problem, i would talk to them about it cuz most of the time they stay good friends, and u CANNOT tell someone how to live thier life. u just have to trust them.
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Jun 8 2005, 09:56 PM
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#6
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 jiyOunnn~ Group: Member Posts: 692 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 109,706 |
QUOTE(K!$$ @ Jun 8 2005, 6:46 AM) Hmm.. I think the first mistake started when you told her she could hang out with him again.. The rest just.. happened. It kinda seems like her ex put on the depression act to take her away from you..You were right to break up with her. Good for you  i agree. you'll get better. trust me. |
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Jun 9 2005, 08:34 PM
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#7
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,220 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 81,808 |
wow.. i feel that its ok but then again it would be wrong...
this is the story: i broke up w/ ex> ex got mad/talking sh*t> talked it out alot> telling me he missed me & loved me> told my bf that i was talking to him again> bf breaks up with me> i stop talking to my ex ex> got back with my former ex lol... |
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