6 feet under..., putting up a face |
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 Apr 28 2005, 06:15 PM
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#1
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 Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 6 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 131,802  |
i really like my bf but only as a friend and i know its never going to go anywhere jus because of my values. and i dont think i can ever love him... i still like someone else. but that someone else has moved on. i thought i could end things on a good term with my bf right before i wen away to college. but he keeps talking about the future. and hurting him is the last thing i ever wanna do. hes one of my best friends. but its kiling me to keep pretending with him... i keep thinking maybe i could start to really really like him but its not happening...
help? edit*** THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT REPLIED. u've all been very helpful. i will tell him but im gonna wait just a bit cuz he really wants to go to prom with me and i jus cant do it before prom i wish i could but thats not gonna happen. have u guys ever been in a situation like this and wat did u do and how did the guy react??? THANK YOU AGAIN!!! 
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Apr 28 2005, 06:46 PM
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#2
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 when we speak, we breathe Group: Member Posts: 1,635 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,760 |
Don't put up a facade with him. That's one of the worst things you can do to a person; Fake a relationship with him. Don't say that you've just been with him so you don't hurt him. It'll upset him further if you make him aware that you've been faking your emotions.
Start to talk to him, let him know that you're starting to care for him as just a friend, and that you want him in your future, but not as a partner, but as your best friend. The further you let this go, the more he'll start to think that the relationship will last longer, and the harder it will be on him. |
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Apr 28 2005, 06:52 PM
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#3
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 You can't keep running from what you're trying to find. Group: Official Member Posts: 5,030 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 54,096 |
pretending is going to make it worse... he might eventually ask you to marry him or something, and you cant say yes if you dont love him! i think you should try to end this as soon as possible, but be as gentle as possible. good luck
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Apr 28 2005, 08:01 PM
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#4
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
i know telling him the truth is hard, and you're afraid to hurt him well its better now than later. if you do it later, you're leading him on, and if you end it afterwards, it'll crush him. break it to him slowly, good luck
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| *mzkandi* |
Apr 28 2005, 08:09 PM
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#5
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Guest |
This should be in Relationships
I felt the same way about this guy I was dated. I loved him but there was no future between us. We were like night and day and usually thats a good thing but not for us. After about six months of dating, I found myself losing interest in him, dating wise. I knew it would be hurt if I outright told him because he seemed inlove. But eventually I did. And he actually took it quite well. Which was a relief. So think you should tell him how you feel. No use in leading him on any longer. |
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Apr 28 2005, 08:35 PM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,220 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 81,808 |
"i think it is time to meet new people, i dont think this relationship is working out, i dont feel like i like you anymore like i used to..."
do the break up speech lol |
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Apr 28 2005, 08:36 PM
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#7
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 *scribble scribble* Group: Member Posts: 1,314 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 119,610 |
just say that you dont think that the relationship is working anymore and that you dont feel a connection with him now. tell him you value him as a best friend and that youll always be there for him. and whatever you tell him, be sure to mean what you say and dont fake it.
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| *iNyCxShoRT* |
Apr 28 2005, 08:44 PM
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#8
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you should break up with him. if he finds out about this hes gonna feel even worse, tell him the truth. even if it hurts him its better than him finding out on his own and knowing you never told him about it.
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Apr 28 2005, 11:05 PM
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#9
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 ticktock. Group: Member Posts: 1,138 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 118,235 |
i say it's better to end it now than to keep it going. the longer you wait, the more it's going to hurt for him.
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Apr 29 2005, 03:03 PM
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#10
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 ...and this is me.. Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 |
If all you feel for him is friendship....then tell him...you shouldn't try to make it work when you know all you ever will see him as is a friend. You can't force yourself to like him...So what if the person you do like has moved on....I'm sure there will be someone else....you need to move on and tell him soon...he deserves to know the truth. The more you wait....the more you will hurt him later on....
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Apr 29 2005, 03:24 PM
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#11
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 ^-^ Group: Member Posts: 1,676 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 107,668 |
QUOTE(jordanriane @ Apr 28 2005, 3:46 PM) Start to talk to him, let him know that you're starting to care for him as just a friend, and that you want him in your future, but not as a partner, but as your best friend. The further you let this go, the more he'll start to think that the relationship will last longer, and the harder it will be on him.  exactly, I wouldn't tell him you've been faking all that time, it'll break his heart, jsut tell him that you dont' feel for him the way he wants you to but you really value his freandship and you don't want to lose that. 
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