out of dark moments, poem Options

[babycarrot]

from reading this, wat u think this is about? i wrote it out of nowhere in relation to wat im going through.. doesn't have a specific meaning at all, theres more than 1. to you there may only be one.. feedbacks, comments, do ur stuff =)


Flowers grow out of dark moments
the seeds start off so small, so skin deep
The dark corner sinks in
Love is full of suffering
and it is also full of overcoming it
Where’s the perspective in that?
Where’s the forgiveness?
When did you cry?
Did I catch you the way you wanted me to?

Darling, Can I be the one
To capture all his tears
The one to eat up all his fears
Like the white tigress early at dawn
She knows that Love is always tested
Suffering will always be stumbled upon
It’s something we must live with everyday
But we continue learning
(We continue learning)

Temptations is a killer of the test
Love is tested from sun down to moon up
Dark moments are formed
And so I dare you to get back up
Live on with her and see the rest
Of the most beautiful things you could imagine
As she keeps you on your grounds
Love is pain, pain is love, and love is indescribable
So quiet, whilst the salt of the waters grieve low in the sun
Love can bring you places that are unbelievable

Flowers grow out of dark moments
the seeds start off so small, so skin deep
The dark corner sinks in
Love is full of suffering
and it is also full of overcoming it
give them peace for now

[sadolakced acid]

very good

it flows really well, and such

the only thing i'd change is being more consistent with the end-rhymes. a few places you end-rhyme, but most the poem doesn't have end-rhymes. i'd suggest removing those end-rhymes, to make the poem flow better.

to me, i think it means two lovers break up, and try to go on with life, but will ultimently fail.

[..:loveee.NuTTii]

Really good.
I like how it can have many meanings.
To me, it might tell the tale of a couple and the speaker thinks they have "passed" the test of love and they should just live in each others company without any more obstacles thrown their way.

[racoons > you]

actully, i quite like the on-off rhyme... it goes with a theme of sometimes a relationship is smoothe and easy, toher times less harmonious.

i like it a lot

[sikdragon]

wow, that describes a lot.

It reminds me of something a great philosopher once said, "two can have heat between each other, but how can one be warm alone?"
actually that was paraphrased from something God said in the new testament.

I like how the main character is remembering all those things she went through and how she's responding to them in her mind. the way she wants to go back but cant. The way she wants to love someone but is alone. Darkness is like loneliness. She's wishfully thinking about getting back together with that guy she's captured in her mind. how he was and how he wanted to be. she's wishing that that guy wanted to be with her and rely on her. the white tigress at early dawn... she's wishing she was more sensual to him. That he was more physically attracted to her. she wishes to tell him that yes we've been through some hard times but if we work at it, it wont be over. This is written like a letter or an address to the individual however it can't be. Because she's filling in all the blanks with fantasy and therefore it cannot be. She doesn't realize that she doesn't know him and he doesnt trust her enough to let her get to know him. She's clingy kind of like a lost dog. This may not be a bad thing if this was prior to an intimate relationship. it would just be stalker like.

or i could be completely wrong.

[racoons > you]

or i could be completely wrong.

there is no such thing as being 'wrong' when you interpret poetry. unless, i suppose, you misread a word and mistook it for something else, but that's not particularly relevant

[sikdragon]

dunno why your reply was necassary.

[Rachel]

^And I don't know why any of your replies are necessary.

[sikdragon]

They are because i will them to be.