Spring Fling in Europe.. Now we're back in the US!, Kinda long, but I'd Appreciate Any Help! Options

[ginabug]

OkOkOkOkOk.. So..

I went to Europe for Spring break for an "educational tour" with 7 other kids taking Spanish or French at my highschool. Also on the trip were 40 Canadians and 30 NewYorkers. So anyways, this guy who was from my school that went on the trip with us, let's call him Alejandro, and I, we got along really well and talked a bunch got to know each other and all that. Just good friends. Until one night, as we're trying to get away from all the other upperclassmen who were chattin' it up with the NY boys, we find eachother sleeping in the kitchen trying to get some rest. But then we can't really sleep cuz we're like half-sleeping, still talking at the same time. I dunno what happened next, but all of a sudden we're "spooning" (and i don't really think that's the right word for it but oh well) ! Then the next day it's all awkward and he wants to talk to me alone. So we get a chance to talk, and he wanted to have a little thing between us, just for spring break, while we're here in Europe. So I say, I don't care, Hey, I'm here in Europe so whatever. But then I realize later on that I didn't want that, I'd rather just stay friends, I mean, after all, he does have a girlfriend, even though this thing between us wasn't serious at all... I wouldn't have felt right to know that there's a girl out there un aware of what her boyfriend was doing in Paris. I mean, it wouldn't have worked well in my concious, plus I didn't like the thought of being treated like an object to mess with while he's in Europe. Like his "toy". So I told him all of this the next day and he said sorry, and he said that it's fine, and that he felt stupid. So there. I thought I was done. But two nights later when we were in Barcelona alrready, everyone headed out to a club and get alittle drunk, and the next thing you know I'm alone in his room with him, spooning with him and more! But we didn't touch on any of the 'bases'. We did stuff, without really doing stuff, you get it? Well, it's hard to explain. So..yeah. But don't get him wrong, he took care of me when I got sick there, and he wouldn't let me drink on the last night, even though I really wanted to, it was problobly the best thing not to do it. So he's not a complete a-hole. I mean, I like him for him, but I don't like him for his more, "sexual" side.. the side that makes me feel like only an object. So now, we're back in the U.S. and we still barely ever see eachother around school. But I've missed him a lot, and I think it's starting to go away now. I've never liked someone like this before, I have this fat crush on him, and all my friends are so surprised, that it's Me! Me acting this way over a boy! Hahaha.. but I figured out the reason why, is because he's already got a girlfriend so I don't have to deal with facing rejection. It's already there! Like, automatic! So all I have to do is wait until the feelings go away, and he and I can remain good friends, with nothing more. That's all I want. BUT, he recently asked for my phone number.. and he called, and we just talked about nothing really. He said he misses talking to me. So..?? What am I supposed to do now?! This crazy guy.. what is he doing? Is this wrong? Can we really just stay good friends? Or what's the deal? He has a girlfriend!! I don't want to get with him! I don't want to like him, I just do! And I'm trying to make it go away as fast as I can. Can somebody help me? I don't know what to do about this situation, how to get over him, and how to tell what he wants from me. Is it just friendship, like what I want? Or is it something more? Is it wrong for me to talk to him even though he has a girlfriend? What am I supposed to think of our conversations? ..I'm hoping they're just innocent friend conversations.

Sorry it's so long, with so many questions. I'm just rambling because I don't really know what to do. It's a crazy situation. I'm not very experienced and not very outgoing when it comes to boys.

[shewasradiant]

whoa, that was crazy long. but it looks like youve already figured out what to do with him. yes, he has a gf already, so dont even mess around with him anymore. it is ok for you to be friends with him and for you to talk to him. do not think anything more about your friendship with him, until he dumps his gf (or vice versa) theres nothing thats gonna happen between the two of you.

buttttt if you do end up realizing that you have feelings for this guy....try not talking to him for awhile. it always helps.

[Chii]

it seems like you would like him to be your boyfriend...because of the special moments you shared abroad. but my dear...the facts are the facts he has a girlfriend...it's best if you cool it off with him. you both know that he has a girlfriend but he's calling you and says that he misses talking to you and whatever else. this is horrible, it will be hard to be friends with him because by doing that you'll hang out together and talk and then one thing will lead to another and it'll be like you're back in europe spooning again...

you really don't want to be the other woman...if you actually get with him you'll never really know if he's being faithful to you

[ginabug]

Aww.. YOu Guys are so Awesome! You replied ..! Unlike the other people who are too lazy to read the whole thing, because it is so long, and i understand. But thanks,

Okay, so, I guess hearing this from you guys helps. Nothing is going to happen. And you're right. If I ever do acctually get with him, I really won't know if he's being faithful to me or not. But you know what the strangest thing is? He tells his gf Everything. It was weird cuz today he called on three way with her for like 30 seconds and she said thanks for being nice to him while we were in Spain, and that he told her all about it. And I have a feeling that he really did tell her everything. So what's up with that?? I mean.. *sigh*.. that just re-insured my feeling that we were just going to be good friends, which i don't mind at all. But then, like 5 minutes later, he calls back, and it's just him, and we're talking again about nothing, and he tells me about how he stole a pic of me from one of the other girls who was on the trip with us! Now, I've done that before, I've taken a pic from someone of the person I liked at the time. Now does this mean he likes me? I'm guessing he kinda does, but then again, it could just be out of friendship that he took the picture. What do you think?
And also, you're right about me not wanting to be the other woman-- I really don't want to. And I'm not going to.

[topsyturvy]

Girl, you are falling head over heels for this guy. But it's not right, because he's already got a girlfriend.

Let's suppose the two of you are a couple. You can't guarantee that he won't cheat (yes, cheat) since it's exactly what he did when you guys were "spooning" in Europe.

Do you really believe he told his girl everything? He could've just told her bits (like you guys are friends) but missed out on other bits (like when you guys were "spooning"). Why are you trusting him so much? He's probably doing all sorts of things with his girlfriend, yet he's still clinging on to you, saying things like "he misses talking to you". That's something you're supposed to tell a girlfriend, unless you've known each other for a long long time and are really close. But you've only known him for, what, two weeks at most?

This guy sounds like an a**hole to me. He doesn't deserve you OR his current girlfriend.

Sorry for sounding harsh, but both your posts are kinda disturbing.

And next time, type in paragraphs.

[_sarcastic_]

he has a gf. you should just be friends with him nothing more unless he breaks it up with his gf. but even if he did and became your bf, i don't think you would feel very secure, i mean he might be off somewhere doing something with another girl like he did to you

[i can break]

You have it bad...Which kinda sucks since he has a gf. I think that you should try to keep your mind off him.

That was sucky advice.

[x shootingstar x]

*sigh* sorry to hear this..

I dont' really know that guy so i'm going to assume from what i'd heard.

To me, he's an a-hole. He has a girlfriend already, and he cheated on her with you. He did NOT tell his girlfriend everything. If he did, she would have sooo dumped him. He makes it sound nice by calling you guys and talking three-way. But right after that, he betrayed his girlfriend and called you. You should tell him to f**k off. I think he just want sex.

I was thinking of another assumption.. maybe he is confused on who he likes? BUT, NO! that is not true. He just goes to his girlfriend and does the same thing.. he is a definite a-hole. You should let his girlfriend know what you and her boyfriend did. She have the right to know this. You just simply cannot let her falls head over heel with her boyfriend without knowing that he's NOT faithful!! Cut every connection with him or just talk to him about it. Maybe something will work out. And I mean.. no more than friends.

[aera]

he has a girlfriend. he was using you to have sex.

[yukichan]

He already has a girlfriend..He cheated on his girlfriend..I dont think thats right..Just ignore him if u see him around and dont think about him...

[XaZnX07]

hm thats kinda romantic in paris the city of romance lol well first of all if he wants you you should tell him to break up with his girlfriend and well spooning?? kissing or haveing sex? i wana say sex but i dono yeah thats kinda wrong so just tell him to break up with his girlfriend cause he already cheated on her really bad ii wish for the best of luck for you

.:Tony:.

[sammi rules you]

i was just in the same situation a bit ago.

tell him about how you feel, how you don't wanna do this stuff while he has a girlfriend. he either dumps her and gets with you, or stays with her and stops trying to get with you.

and that's that.

[angelrevelation]

wow i think he might be using you... but if his girlfriend finds out what you two did you are in REALLY big trouble... i think you should just control yourself around him, and just remain friends (for now, until/if he breaks up with his gf), for his her sake

[icy_angelx]

It seems that you made up your own mind from the story sooo yea