Rants., ..Would you like to shoot me? Options

[*mishyerr*]

In case you do not wish to read, it is long. And I am not asking if we are in love, I know we are not. ;]


So here goes, I, dating a guy for almost three months, suddenly realize that I have opened my heart to its tender area, and have given away an un-numbered amount of my precious love and affection. He, on the other hand, has told me he feels the same way and adores me with all his little heart, yet he cannot stand it when I cannot sexually be with him. He is 'mad', for the lack of a better term, and the un-eloquent word he uses, b/c he thinks I won't "see" him the entire summer b/c of summer school. Wait, wasn't it, HE, that told me he was going to music school in Mexico the whole summer? Wasn't it HE who was happy to be leaving his hellhole to learn more about his true love and desire, music? And I, I cannot control where I go; my parents are much too strict and over-stressed these days. He doesn't understand how my Asian parents represent the 'typical Asian parent' steriotype, for he is half Caucasian and Mexican. He thinks it's my fault or what not. What am I supposed to do? Mope around like some idiot because my immature boyfriend is trying to ignore me and be happy and smiley at the same time? So, after finding out this annoying information, I finally just smiled, smiled, and smiled, and when I got home, cried. Than, I realized something, "Wtf am I crying for? I'm young and beautiful, I still have a life full of boys who will gladly rip my heart out. It'll be fine." And than, I discovered a little more maturity in me, and I am happy. Yet, the dissonance between me and my boyf make me think harder and harder, and my mind is not in harmony with my heart. It's kinda confusing.

[Ington]

Mishy, I read the entire thing.

I understand what you're feeling. If I was in your position, I would probably feel the same way. But he just doesn't want to lose you. People do stupid things and feel uncomfortable when they feel they're going to lose someone. Don't give up on it, Mishy. And if there's a problem with sexual moments, you can always practice on a hooker.

I'm half-off today.

[*jooleeah*]

I'm sorry Maybe he just feels scared that you might leave him during the summer? Iunno. Hope you're alright! <3 You're right, you are a young woman and you don't need that crap that he gives you.

[Soleil]

I dont think you should deal with that sort of thing...its horrible and you deserve better.

[WrathOfOnigo]

There might be something bothering him and he is taking it out on you. You could either talk to him about it or move on. I am sure, no I know, you can do better than this guy and that there are a lot of other boys out there that can treat you better.

[Nicolatofu]

Wow, I can't believe his reasoning for acting like that! Don't worry, you are totally right for thinking that way. I mean you are young a beautiful. It's a pity he doesn't realize he had something so lovely

[*mzkandi*]

*claps* you go girl!! Never be dependent on a man to make you happy. You are beautiful and young and I bet there will be other guys dying for a chance to treat you like a queen..kudos to the max!

[fameONE]

You're so eloquent in expressing thought. Bravo.

Just as girls don't need to depend on a guy for happiness, its the same wiht us guys.

Don't cry for soemone who won't cry for you. Its a 50/50 relationship and 51/49 doesn't make it equal.

Props to ya.

[*stephinika*]

i read it all mishy, and you do have the right to feel that way. i haven't experienced that exactly, but yeah the argument between heart and mind...i'm sure things will work out. just relax and think things over.

[smilz2dasun]

wow. that sounds just like something i went through...except it wasnt my boyfriend who left during the summer, it was me. i left for about two and a half months to thailand to a boyfriend who just wasn't there anymore. but you <i>will</i> be fine. everything happens for a reason so what you're going through is obviously helping you for your next relationship or will help you to overcome other things.
my mind and my heart conflicted so much with each other... and it still does even though it was about a year ago. we were doing so good but i knew the fact that i couldn't be there for him sexually was frustrating him. so..during the summer he cheated on me and.. it just wasn't pretty. i kept thinking though that maybe if i didn't decide to wait he'd still be here.. i know that's the wrong way to think of it but i really liked him a lot. but then again, i know that it's wrong. it's wrong to do something when you don't want to or you're not ready.. and i know that there's other guys out there who would be and are much better than him.
same goes for you. you <i>are</i> young and beautiful.

[joejoe22802]

Well im 13 so reading that alone prob blows off what i have to say lol anyway dependign on anything or anyone for happiest isnt to great and ya theres lots more "fish in the sea" even thuogh that phrase is really lame but true lol but yea i guess my reply kinda sucked but yea okWrathOfOnigo your sig is awsome!!

[AsianUniQ]

I admire your perseverance. You should also keep up that self-confident. You will need it. Boys will be boys. At this age, I should be expecting changes in his life. Probably puberty. He will grow with rapidly increasing hormones. And at this stage, urges for sex. I understand you are the emotionally attached person, but you deserve more than that. You deserved respect. And as a loving bf, he should give you that. But wow 3 months?! You two are obviously moving too fast with your relationship. Someone will get hurt sooner or later.

Never let him force you into doing what you don't want. You have a right too. So it is already unreasonable for him to go to Mexico and blame you for having to go to summer school; I think that is just an excuse so he can PHYSICALLY be with you. But if he is a caring bf, he shuld consider ur feelings. But if he's the type that wants you for your booty, don't give him none. You deserved better.

[misoshiru]

awww...mish (can i call you that) i read the whole thing. i'm glad that you're keeping to yourself and doing what you feel is right. i'd feel the same way if i were you, having asian parents and all. i believe in your thoughts-logic. i hope it all works out fine. you deserve a good guy.

[*mishyerr*]

YAH YOU CAN CALL ME MISH!!

Updates: It's pretty good now. BTW.. by sexually, I didn't mean we have sex.. lol >.< just .. ..erm.. teenage couple stuff.. minus sex. yeah.

By the way, I wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who wrote something. Though I do not have the time to reply to each and everyone, they all meant something special to me, and encouraged me in a very wonderful way.

DID YOU KNOW.. THAT.. NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE [JOHN HEDDER] or whomever .. he was on 'I WANT A FAMOUS FACE' by MTV.. The BRAD PITT twins!!! O.O O.O OMG OMG OMG.. ...That's weird. Sorry. My sister just told me.

[pinayprincess]

YO, THIS DUDE SHOULDNT BE MAD FOR THIS KIND OF REASON, HE SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WOULD BE IN DEEP SH*T IF YOU MESS AROUND LIKE 'THAT'.. JUST TELL HIM TO CHILL OUT...

[angelrevelation]

hmm he seems really selfish and self centered and whatnot... dump him if he doesnt start listening to you (wait did you dump him already? lol srry....) well anyways good job for thinking for your confidence!

[i can break]

I say...Dump him. If he's going to get mad because you don't want to be "sexual" with him, then forget him. It's obvious that you like him way more than he likes you; you should drop him before you get even more hurt.

[icy_angelx]

I think he doesn't want to lose you...you know boys have weird ways to explain things you just gotta know that