not the first, finding out Options

[*islandgirl4eva*]

The first time my boyfriend and I were physically intimate, we got carried away and I started trembling (I HATE it when I do that). He looked down on me and asked me if I was nervous. I told him I was. He asked me if I was a virgin and I told him yes, because I am.

Then I did something that I shouldn't have done. I asked him if HE was a virgin. He wasn't. For some reason after hearing that, my heart broke a little bit. I pushed him away and started crying. He came and held me and apologized. Eventually I got over it, but whenever we get intimate I always wonder if I measure up to the other women.

Have you ever found out that you were not you lover's first partner? How did you feel?

[KELLYYY]

Eh, all my bfs were virgins; I'm in Middle School right now, so most people are virgins.

[*mzkandi*]

i dont like to share my personal experiences online but i will say its ok if your boyfriend has been with someone else sexually. i can see where you're coming from with questions about whether you measure up to other girls but you really should not worry about that trust me. when he is with you i am sure he is thinking of nobody but you

[dani41790]

ive never experienced that before. i guess its because im kinda young

[*stephinika*]

i have in a way experienced that, but not to that point. my boyfriend is still a virgin, as am i, but when i started dating him, i'd done nothing but peck a guy on the lips. he, on the other hand, had down a lot more...and i mean a lot more. i knew this and was/am okay with it but at times that same thought process goes through my mind of whether i'm doing things right or measuring up.

[extravaganzahh_]

i think it was right of you to feel bad. afterall youwere a virgin and you loved him and ofcz you wanted him all to ureself.
but at the same time you shudnt feel so bad about it. esp if ure bf apologized pronto. cmon thats just sweet* =]

[twelveislands]

First bf was a virgin
One now wasn't but nor was i but he had been with 1 more person than me so I always wonder if he preferred doing stuff with them and not me I annoy him by saying I bet you think your ex's were better Funny for me, but not for him

[Rachel]

Well for me it was the other way around. He was the vigin and I was the non. I tell him it doesn't matter because I am with him now and he is much better. I kind of wished I would have either saved it for him or that I would not have told him...Oh well.

I think that you should just focus on the fact that he is with YOU now, not some whore =)

[illuminessence]

I don't think it's fair of you to judge him by his past or even let his past bother you because you are his present and future right now. He made the decision without you in the picture. When I found one of my boyfriends from the past wasn't a virgin, it didn't bother me because it wasn't fair of me to let that ruin the relationship. Besides, you shouldn't be letting it bother you too much. That just gets you too paranoid and may push him away.

[ohBrian]

nick lachey wasnt virgin but damn JESSICA WAS!!!!

[bravodancer04]

Oh god..well..I`ve done more than my bf, and every time he asks me if he was my first..it breaks my heart to tell him no..

[*islandgirl4eva*]

I don't think it's fair of you to judge him by his past or even let his past bother you because you are his present and future right now. He made the decision without you in the picture. When I found one of my boyfriends from the past wasn't a virgin, it didn't bother me because it wasn't fair of me to let that ruin the relationship. Besides, you shouldn't be letting it bother you too much. That just gets you too paranoid and may push him away.

I didn't judge him. It just hurt.

[heyyfrankie]

aww. i feel bad for you. well, not bad, but...you know what i mean!
i have never been physical but i can understand where you are coming from. i am sorry that you have to wonder about that but hopefully you and your boyfriend will overcome this and be happy.

good luck.

[silver-rain]

Well, I know how you feel. Even though my boyfriend has told me several times that he's a virgin, he was more experienced than I was so I'd always wonder about his past and stuff like that. However, that led to fights and stuff, so now, I don't think about it that much because he's choosing to be with me and no one else, and it's not like I can change what he did in the past. But yeah, it did hurt at first when I realized how much more experience my boyfriend was than I.

[aera]

it depends on age sometimes. and it's ok as long as the other girl didnt have a baby.

[Chii]

my boyfriend hated my sexual past...i mean i was a virgin when we got together but i did plenty of other things. he was just like you...afraid he didn't measure up but think of it this way:

you're the one he's with, he's had sex before and he repsects the fact that you're a virgin. if he was worried about you being bad in bed then he'd just go elsewhere for it. plus, it's not like his brain will focus on what it was like with so and so when you're messing around, he'll just focus on you and how you are...during the act, most men probably just think about ejaculating and how great you make him feel.

i've never been in this situation before so this is what i believe. i've told him that the other people didn't matter and it's completely true. he seems sincere for conforting you when you cried about it, people like him and me and lots of people love someone for them not because of how great in bed they are.

don't upset yourself about asking him if he was a virgin, plenty of couples discuss that. if you didn't mention it then, it would be mentioned later.

also, who cares how great the others were, you're the one who has him, they couldn't keep him

[vampireduster]

i just try not to think about that.....yeah i just dont. i dont want to feel like that

[kryzcoak47luv666]

Well me and my bf were both virgins
in fact this is both of ours first relationship
and if I found out different I would be heart-broken, but it would be more that he lied to me, and I would always ask myself whether I measure up, and wonder if he thinks about her when we are intimate, but I know I'm the only woman he's been with, and I'm thankful, because I would feel weird not sharing something that big alone, it would hard to go through losing your virginity alone....

[someflipguy]

Shit that is one of the first things I ask, just out of curiosity. I really don't care though.

[starlette]

to me, as long as they dont have any diseases, I dont care. I mean, I'm 19 now, and unfortunately, at my high school, sex was a trend, so its unrealistic for me to think every guy I'll ever be with wont have been with anyone first. And I usually date guys a little older than me, so yeah. But the guy I'm with now? I was his first. that was kinda nice.

[mouse_3k]

Make sure he doesnt have NE STDs or w/e. And remember he might just be wanting to get wit you physically so dont give your virginity so easily. Just be safe and remember about the consequences(sp?)

[to-devastate]

Aw. Well, I never had an "official" boyfriend before. lol. but yeah. i think that it would hurt. Don't rush into anything yet. Best wishes.

[WrathOfOnigo]

It's ok, when you get older you're gonig to start dating men with very extreme sexual pasts.
I am in middle school so the guys are all virgins. But I srot of have a problem like yours just I get jealous because he has had other girlfriends, I know it's lamebut I get jealous easily. I guess it's the thought that his heart once belonged to another girl.

[XaZnX07]

yeah it has lol yeah i got mad for like a day but then i got over it too

.:tony:.

[yellowgurl]

im kinda young still so ya. i guess for you to have a future with him you have to kinda let go of his past.

[IamRad]

i'd get hurt.. but id be happy that im with him now and nothing would change that..?

[punkymoke]

i'm a virgin.. i'm saving it all for my husband.. who happens to be my b/f right now ^^ we're both virgins.. and i think that if he hadn't waited.. and i did.. just for him.. i would most definetly be depressed... i'm sry ^^