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Untitled, the thought of suicidal.
to-devastate
post Apr 4 2005, 09:38 PM
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I didn't give this a title yet. Nor I don't know if you can consider this a poem or a short story. It's a bit long, just bare with me..

Here I am.
Sitting on the bathroom floor.
A knife in one hand, a candle in the other.
I'm not surely ready.
I fear of this day before.
But they pushed me here.
The hot candle wax drips down to my arm.
It burns like fire.
It pains. But my life pains much more.
I tremble.
The knife almost reaches to my arm.
It is destined to trace the line on my dear arm.
I take a last glance at the empty pill bottles.
Two tears, now three flow down my heart wretched face.
As the knife takes it's first stabs,
my whole life flashes before me. The candle drops.
I remove the knife and the pain rushes in.
Blood fill the spaces of the tiles and overflows.
I start falling to the ground.
I lie there. Helplessly.
-- You caused me pain.

Much comment and critism appreciated. happy.gif
 
y0urelectrikk
post Apr 5 2005, 04:48 PM
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I like it.. Lots of description. Sounds painful wacko.gif
 
wounded
post Apr 6 2005, 06:51 PM
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Do you miss your little girl?
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I'm a hypocrite. Any ways, this is a really, really good poem. :) I hope that you don't ever do that, you'll always have someone to talk to.
 
Nicolatofu
post Apr 7 2005, 06:45 AM
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Wow, you needs powerful when I get squimish(sp?) just reading it. This really reaches out and has much meaning. It really does sound painful, I hope you really don't hurt yourself..
 
loljuliana
post Apr 10 2005, 04:05 PM
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Very descriptive. =) The candle is a good touch. I wish it was longer though; I was disappointed when it ended. tongue.gif
 

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