It's all about you, lang. isn't pg-13 dont enter if bothered |
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 Mar 30 2005, 11:19 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 30 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,683  |
Ok...my last ...post...sucked major twat...Can I say twat? Pg-13 as long as I can...lol...Hmm...it sucked twat...anyway...this poem.....I wrote a few months ago...it was a confusing time in my life...there was this guy...that I was starting to like...(the only guy) anyway...I was head over heals, I was scared at why I felt this way about a guy...but more than anything I wanted some kind of reciprocation...anything to make it less...odd...but to this day I've gotten nothing from the guy...and thats fine...I've moved passed it
I haven't had feelings for another guy since, so yea...thats my setup...my poem to ...the guy...I'll never love. It's all about you My life as I know it f**king sucks... without you I'm sure you don't care over and over day after f**king day I've waited for you What the f**k is your hold up? Why the hell aren't you here? Tell me why I'm falling faster and faster for you ...it f**king sucks I can't deal with this shit I need you I NEED YOU! LOOK AT ME! ...want me... over and over... need me... TxT copyright © 2005 BeyezB |
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Mar 31 2005, 06:49 PM
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#2
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
Umm.. The f words sound kind of out of place.
 I see the kind of emotion you're trying to convey. I like the concept, maybe you should just use better wordings instead of just saying it f--ing sucks, it f--ing sucks. Otherwise good. I like the last couple of lines. 
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Mar 31 2005, 11:27 PM
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#3
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 146 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 110,109 |
^ yeah they do
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Apr 3 2005, 03:00 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 558 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,872 |
^ I agree with them.
It doesnt really flow. Use better word choice. |
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