Joyful Nightmares, poem |
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 Mar 6 2005, 09:55 PM
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#1
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 _  Group: Member Posts: 520 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 107,274  |
God send me twisted dreams
of bloody picnic scenes. Send me visions of angels who've lost their wings and demons in playground swings. Grant me my demented gaurdians of the night. Through joyful nightmares grant me flight... After months of writer's block, this felt good to write. Sweet dreams... |
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| *stephinika* |
Mar 6 2005, 09:58 PM
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#2
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Guest |
short, to the point...it rhymes in a good way. i like it.
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Mar 7 2005, 07:45 PM
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#3
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
I love it. It's dark, evil and almost humorous. It's probably my favorite that I've read so far. It's really short and simple (I hate long draggy poems) and to the point as Steph said. I really like it! I love the rhyming. Usually I'm really skeptical when it comes to rhyming, but you've done it really well. I like the
QUOTE Send me visions of angels who've lost their wings and demons in playground swings. line. It's cleverly put together. Keep up the good work. |
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Mar 8 2005, 02:29 AM
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#4
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
^ Agreed. :D
Very nice! It got to the point and it flowed well. Nice work. [= |
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Mar 9 2005, 09:12 PM
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#5
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 To Live is to Dance Group: Member Posts: 791 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 70,074 |
ya that poem was really good and instead of putting my hand in the cheeto bag i accidently put my hand in my cup filled with cola soda.. lol ^_^ so its a good poem if it does that to me lol
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Mar 9 2005, 09:39 PM
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#6
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 highfive. Group: Member Posts: 1,301 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 32,951 |
i like it. it's short.. but it rhymes and has a nice message with it.
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Mar 10 2005, 09:51 PM
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#7
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_ Group: Member Posts: 520 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 107,274 |
QUOTE(xd0rkette @ Mar 9 2005, 8:39 PM) i like it. it's short.. but it rhymes and has a nice message with it.  Haha, I like your definition of nice then =P Thanks for all the comments. I don't normally write short poems, so its an area I'll be sure to explore more in the furture. |
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