My dad, I hate him, yet, I don't Options

[MeLoNiSyUmMy]

So, I was told that when I was little, my dad never held me like a "normal" father should. Sure, he gives me everything that I need : Food, a roof over my head and some shopping trips from time to time. But there's one thing missing; love. He's never EVER said the worlds, "I love you" or has even hugged me. He yells at me constantly and says things like, "I wish you were dead along with your mother." I KNOW he doesnt mean it..But still. It huirts. Also, I just joined track this year as a freshman and my uncles and aunts think I'll do a good job. But then there's my dad on the other side saying, "Oh no. She'll never place in any of her events." Or, "She's not good at running, trust me. I've seen her." WTF? He's NEVER come to any of my Pointe ballet recitals or dance competitions, nor has he even seen me run.
I don't want sympathy, I just want to know what I should say to him so I won't lose another parent.

[imalilpeanut23]

just talk to him and tell him how you feel. i have probs w/ my dad too and the best thing to do, i think would to just talk to him. tell him what he's doing to you because he might not be seeing it. if you're not sure exactly what to say or if ur scared to talk to him, maybe go to a relative, ur aunt or uncle, and ask them for advice. or maybe they could talk to him for you and help you out. good luck

[angelrevelation]

o... wow. sorry my dad always shows his love, so i can't really relate to you
i'm not sure if this is true, but from all these books i've read, maybe you just remind your dad of your mom so much he's hurt whenever he looks at you (possibly) or maybe he's just not a loving person... maybe go to therapy? or a school counselor... they could help hope it works out!

[dani41790]

wow. thats really harsh. if i were u i would b*tch at my dad about how i feel but i suggest u dont do that

[Tung]

same here i hate my dad..but yet he is my dad..and i do like him a little. =\

[krnfriscoballer]

just deal with it .... everyone has problems with ple

[the_crox]

yeah.... go talk to him.

[bad_girl]

did ur mom pass away or smth? maybe he's just sad over her...

[gigiopolis]

He should probably go see a counsellor or psychiatrist, because obviously he's gone through some pretty bad ordeals and became what he is today. That's not to say these counsellors will "cure" him at all...you should talk to him about it directly first.

Good luck. =]

[perfectxflaw23]

I have tons of problems with my dad, too. I'm going to a therapist and he's helping me sort out my feelings, and helping me learn to express them better too. Maybe you should try to find one.

[yeseulx3]

i'm sorry you have to go through that...
but my dad used to be te same...
always verbal abusing me, saying bs, being mean to me, never telling me that he loved me...
i was in the same situation as you are in now...
but when my mom left him and took me with her, he started to realize that he had been treating me wrong...

so i don't know how you'd do it, but make your dad realize that he still loves you and should be showig his affections for you...
good luck.

[Yrpsyuna]

oh my gosh..that's horrible T.T i'm so sorry! tell him that you need more love from him, and tell him that u love him too =/ i hope it helpz

[DanielleMaria05]

I know how you feel. My dad is the same way. I can never do anything right. He screams at me. He b*tches and whines that the house isn't clean enough, yet he doesn't lift a finger. He doesn't help me watch the kids. GRR! I mean, I hate him, and I say that I wouldn't care if he was dead, but when its like snowy and icey, and I think hes in a wreck, I get scared, and I'm scared that he was in a wreck. I mean, I'm not completely heartless

[clarissa]

you should tell him how you feel. by doing that, maybe you'll get closer because he'll get to know how you actually feel about him. then maybe he can talk to you more about how he feels about you and get the whole thing settled.

in short: just talk to him about it.

[megan_x3]

i think you should tell your dad about your feeling. you should actually. x]

[hunnigurl01]

. . . . kinda reminds me of my dad =\

[yukichan]

thats how my dad acts...well he used to...u should talk to him and try to better know him...do u tell him u love him no matter what?maybe he loves u inside but has a hard time saying that...my dad was like that so i kinda understand what u mean..

[AngelTears]

Well.. I think you should talk to your other relitives and get them to talk to him.

I mean.. telling your daughter that you wish she was dead..

Even if he doesnt mean it thats like some seriouse stuff!

[shortiiex]

talking to him might help...but sometimes ppl don't change

[Flaunted]

moved to relationships

[cHuNsAbAbIe012]

first try talking to him urself n then take it outside of the two of u if it doesnt work. ur relative u know? if that still doesnt work u need to see a counsler n maybe even get therapy for ur relationship

[y0urelectrikk]

Thats how my dad is.


Only I dont like my dad at all. I hope he dies and burns in hell. (& he will eventually.)

[jennyjenny]

Spend more time with him.

[xXMomoBubbleTeaX...]

OMG?!?!?!...I think that you should tell of your dad...I would especially if my dad was like that...and then put the song "Perfect" by Simple Plan...on your CD player the loudest it can get...and if he listens and understands it...then I think you'll get that talk...and when he says it does he say it mean or does he say it like jokely cause there is a big difference but still...maybe he's not a dad maybe hes a father cuz..a dad is someone who can say I love you to there own daughter...omg?!?!..wtf?!?!...he needs some help or ya'll juss need to talk!!...

[lilconfusedbabii...]

nothing`s worked for me, im in the same situation as you. ):

[xj_liana_tx]

my dad is similar to your dad, dads like ours want to be proud of us, yet because of their traditions (i am guessing you are chinese), they keep out all the bragging. they have high expectations because they invested so much in us, and they yell at us on the smallest thing and doesn't praise us on our achievements because they want us to improve constantly and not let their hopes up.
i know what you mean.
it will be all better when we get in to good colleges or get a good job that pays a lot.

[sm0kinm0nky]

yeah thats like my dad, my dad never went to my school/band concerts, sports games, recitials, and we barely talk and my parents are divoreced.

his nightjob messes up alota stuff.

[ichiban]

Tell him you dont appreciate him bitching at you all the time and he should be more supportive.

[xourzest]

omfg my dad's like that to and he starts swearing and he hits me on the face, leg, arm, butt..ect and ur mother is dead?if he said along wit ur mother that would hurt me so much if my mother was dead...i totaly understand what u feel like

[Shattered_Hope]

I'm sorry but my dad isn't all that great either...he's not there for me...or someone who I would count on to be there for me...but I guess he's ok...it's not like he's that mean in front of me..or yell or stuff like that alot.

[jordanriane]

If you lost your mom, maybe you remind him alot of her, and honestly, he probably misses her, and you're a reminder of her to him, so in order to banish those feelings, he just rants at you and whatnot.

Write your dad a letter, telling hiim how he treats you really upsets you, and leaves you hurt. I'm sure it'll be better to do that, then to tell him to his face, it might be easier on you and whatnot.

[jordanriane]

If you lost your mom, maybe you remind him alot of her, and honestly, he probably misses her, and you're a reminder of her to him, so in order to banish those feelings, he just rants at you and whatnot.

Write your dad a letter, telling hiim how he treats you really upsets you, and leaves you hurt. I'm sure it'll be better to do that, then to tell him to his face, it might be easier on you and whatnot.

[SSJ Kenshin]

Alas, I too have had problems with my father, but through communication, the two of us have patched some of the major holes in our relationship. Maybe it will help you too.

[Just_Dream]

Yea well.. my father never showed me "love" either. In fact, he's what's been tearing my family apart, imo. That's pretty much why my half sisters and half brother live so far away. My father's caused a lot of problems, so at least your relationship with your father isn't so bad to the point where you argue with your father he hits you when you're 12-13 years old. My father showed me the oppsite of love. He showed me hate. Even though your father may not be around, deep down maybe he truly does want to, but is really busy. Try to talk to him and find a time when you two can do some father-daughter bonding.

[toodlepops.]

I'm so sorry.
Maybe when you see your dad in a good mood, you should go and talk to him. Maybe sometimes you should go and say, " Dad, I Love You" and give him a hug. He'll really appreciate that. ;)

[_lub_u_]

[omG! im in the same situation as u and stuff. i know how u feel. he yells at me and my brother and makes it seem like we do everything wrong. He spazzes at me for not remembering to turn off the light when he always doesnt. He makes a big deal out of something really small and akes it looks like tis the end of the world. He says that the house is a huge mess when he just sits there, complaining. HE always says that he's tired and tells me to do all the house work when he just sat there wtaching tv for the whole day. I mean its not my fault his life is so crappy ad he has to take his anger out on me. Its not my fault that he takes drugs and has bad health. It's not my fault that he and my mom married , had sex and gave birth to me.

Sometimes i jsut wish that my dad wasnt my dad and i would have a much nicer dad...or maybe my mom would just take us away and have a new life. I am so pissed off at my dad i could kill him if i could grrrr

[Teesa]

aw, sorry about your tough situation..it's going to be difficult, but you and your dad need to do some MAJOR talking with each other. If you two don't put your feelings out on the table, then this horrible relationship will keep going on, which makes everything worse.

[xXirockhardXx]

Im sorry you have to go threw that. I think you should sit him down and talk to him about how he makes you feel. I dont think you should be taking crap from him...

[ohBrian]

hey i feel you..

youre lucky to have your dad while u were growing up ..

i grew up with my mom and raised by her.

i lived with him when i was 12 not im 17

its really hard, but yea they say i understand his situation, its hard to be a father.

[audory]

oh man. i'm so sorry to hear that. talk it over with him. if that was my dad, i'd b*tch at him and like run away from home... but the things i do never get me anywhere so just talk? hope it helps.

[aznmonkeypunk]

i think you should just say "f**k you" and leave him because he is being a faggot for treating his own daughter like that.

[xiaobing]

So, I was told that when I was little, my dad never held me like a "normal" father should. Sure, he gives me everything that I need : Food, a roof over my head and some shopping trips from time to time. But there's one thing missing; love. He's never EVER said the worlds, "I love you" or has even hugged me. He yells at me constantly and says things like, "I wish you were dead along with your mother." I KNOW he doesnt mean it..But still. It huirts. Also, I just joined track this year as a freshman and my uncles and aunts think I'll do a good job. But then there's my dad on the other side saying, "Oh no. She'll never place in any of her events." Or, "She's not good at running, trust me. I've seen her." WTF? He's NEVER come to any of my Pointe ballet recitals or dance competitions, nor has he even seen me run.
I don't want sympathy, I just want to know what I should say to him so I won't lose another parent.

Hey u chines or AZN right cuz i checkd yr Xanga. Well if ure chinese or Azn or w/e dey usually say dat cuz dey dunno how to encourage their kids. They dink dat if dey say dat ure not good at it den u'll try harder but sum pppl just quit. I dont tho. Yeh dads usualy dont hold dere kids. N dey dont usually dont go up to their kids N say I LOve U so . Wen sumthn bad happnds 2 u lik if ure in a car crash or sumthn den the first ding thy'll do is come runnin to u N lik say how sry dey R. Well Lataz!!! Leave comment on ma Xanga aight MY XANGA

[swe3ttemptasian]

aww, this makes me want to cry..

[*mona lisa*]

my dad doesn't show much love either. never hugged unless you count the first day i saw him when i was six. he's always yelling at me for some reason over stupid stuff. but, it's not as bad as yours. i don't know, but maybe your dad still isn't over the fact that your mother died. but you should talk to him. get real emotional, and he will realize how wrong he is in what he's doing.

[l_baybeexgrl_l]

yeah, i understand where you're coming from. my dad never said 'i love you' unless he was really drunk. gah he seems like he doesnt care and just goes out and does whatever, doesn't think how much it affects us in the end. he doesn't support me in the things i do. but i guess im starting to get used to it. thats y i dont go to him for anything.

hopefully things will work out for the both of you, just sit down and talk. if that doesnt work, there's gotta be another way?

[Wolverine0723]

I fell sorry, for you, I knida know what you feel... when I was 7, my parents got divorsed 'cuz he was abusing me and my mother... he would slap me when he was mad, to "get rid of" his stress... then he would brake my "invetions" (lol...like the thingas you would make from nothing)... and commited adultry on my mother... I think of him now as a sicko, a**hole, bi***h,...you know what I mean.

[heyyfrankie]

maybe that is how he was treated whenever he was a youngster! that may be the only way of growing that he knows and he feels like he is doing the "normal" thing. just try to talk to him and if that doesn't work, you can try talking to one of your aunts or uncles and they will probably help you work through this. good luck!!!

[xvi3tbuddyx]

. how sad. that doesnt happen to meeh. my dad relaly wubs meeh......well u should just sit down, get him a cup of tea/coffee.....n have a lito chit chat wib him......itll work....trust meeeh....if it doesnt work....kill meeh!

[Jennilicious23]

you should definately talk to him about it. If you keep it to yourself you'll just get angrier. My dad has a gambling problem and lectures me constantly. so I know where you're coming from.

[IamRad]

just randomly tell him u love him

my dad has never said it but hes hugged me before

[demolished]

1. Give him a book about loving his own child.
2. Love music.
3. Give him a book about being a good loving father.

[*salcha*]

I am in the same situation as you.
My dad OR mom has never hugged, kissed, encouraged, and said "i love you". They put me down in everything, and they took everything i enjoyed away. I loved sports, it was the only thing that i depended on to make me happy cuz i was so miserable at home. Until this year...my mom and dad made me quit sports, wow i was mad. They sent me to a public school away from my friends (twice). They told me that I would never make it to college cuz my grades were so low (i have almost straight A's...wtf!). I always feel like they never encouraged me, and they didn't. he never has time to talk with me, and he comes home late so I hardly get to see him. But it doesn't matter, my mom is just as bad. Sometimes, I think I have such a messed up family, good luck wtih yours.

I'm suffering alongside with you :/

[sparklebabygirl]

So, I was told that when I was little, my dad never held me like a "normal" father should. Sure, he gives me everything that I need : Food, a roof over my head and some shopping trips from time to time. But there's one thing missing; love. He's never EVER said the worlds, "I love you" or has even hugged me. He yells at me constantly and says things like, "I wish you were dead along with your mother." I KNOW he doesnt mean it..But still. It huirts. Also, I just joined track this year as a freshman and my uncles and aunts think I'll do a good job. But then there's my dad on the other side saying, "Oh no. She'll never place in any of her events." Or, "She's not good at running, trust me. I've seen her." WTF? He's NEVER come to any of my Pointe ballet recitals or dance competitions, nor has he even seen me run.
I don't want sympathy, I just want to know what I should say to him so I won't lose another parent.

i'am going through the same thing with my mom

[sparklebabygirl]

I am in the same situation as you.
My dad OR mom has never hugged, kissed, encouraged, and said "i love you". They put me down in everything, and they took everything i enjoyed away. I loved sports, it was the only thing that i depended on to make me happy cuz i was so miserable at home. Until this year...my mom and dad made me quit sports, wow i was mad. They sent me to a public school away from my friends (twice). They told me that I would never make it to college cuz my grades were so low (i have almost straight A's...wtf!). I always feel like they never encouraged me, and they didn't. he never has time to talk with me, and he comes home late so I hardly get to see him. But it doesn't matter, my mom is just as bad. Sometimes, I think I have such a messed up family, good luck wtih yours.

I'm suffering alongside with you :/

i really think my mom hates me