Log In · Register

 

Humor Forum Rules

Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.

The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:


NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.

NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.


Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.

Thank you.

3 Pages V   1 2 3 >  
 Reply to this topicStart new topic
*A girls firs time*, lol
HongKongDong
post Mar 4 2005, 09:17 PM
Post #1


Holla if ya hate me
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,386
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 80,819
Lol oops... supposed to be "first" but yeah you get it x]

I did try searching for this and came up with nothing so yeah.... >.<

I'm pretty sure most of you have read this before 'cuz its kinda old lol and im bored so yeah =/

*A Girls First Time*

(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)



It's your first time. As you lie back your

muscles tighten. You put him

off for a while searching for an excuse, but he

refuses to be swayed as he

approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you

shake your head bravely.

He has had more experience, but it's the first

time his finger has found

the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver;

your body tenses; but

he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks

deeply within your eyes

and tells you to trust him - he's done this many

times before. His cool

smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him

;more room for an easy

entrance.You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,

but he slowly takes his

time, wanting to cause you as little pain as

possible. As he presses

;closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give

way; pain surges throughout

your body and you feel the slight trickle of

blood as he continues. He

looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too

painful.Your eyes are

filled with tears but you shake your head and nod

for him to go on. He

begins going in and out with skill but you are

now too numb to feel him

within you. After a few moments, you feel

something bursting within you and

he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to

have it over. He looks

at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a

chuckle; that you have been

his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your

dentist. After all, it was your first time to have

a tooth pulled.







Naughty, Naughty!

What were you thinkin' ?

PERVERT

I know what you were thinking!
 
123Shot
post Mar 4 2005, 09:30 PM
Post #2


Why is life such a burden?
***

Group: Member
Posts: 74
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 107,737
LOL..uhh i think u can guess what i was thinkin about...hehe...
 
kandiapplegrl
post Mar 4 2005, 09:38 PM
Post #3


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 317
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 82,987
...old.
 
HongKongDong
post Mar 4 2005, 09:39 PM
Post #4


Holla if ya hate me
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,386
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 80,819
^^Please read the whole post.. I already said that most of you must have already read it because it is old.. -.-
 
kandiapplegrl
post Mar 4 2005, 09:42 PM
Post #5


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 317
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 82,987
i didn't intend for you to take it in a mean way. for that i apologize.
 
HongKongDong
post Mar 4 2005, 09:44 PM
Post #6


Holla if ya hate me
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,386
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 80,819
^^ I didn't take it in a mean way... you just have to follow the rules ^^ and I was implying that... well its what I was trying to do xD
 
*wind&fire*
post Mar 4 2005, 09:45 PM
Post #7





Guest
it has been posted before... but yes i was thinking out sex...
 
tofuburger
post Mar 6 2005, 02:04 AM
Post #8


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 353
Joined: Dec 2004
Member No: 72,749
hold up..lemme read that again -.-;;;
 
d0rkbaby
post Mar 6 2005, 02:24 AM
Post #9


i'm a d0rk =)
****

Group: Member
Posts: 209
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 88,870
QUOTE(wind&fire @ Mar 4 2005, 7:45 PM)
but yes i was thinking out sex...
*

^ haha so was i =P
yea i know i have dirty mind.
 
the_crox
post Mar 6 2005, 04:09 AM
Post #10


she doesn't even know
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 501
Joined: Dec 2004
Member No: 72,065
also i was thinking of sex.
 
freeflow
post Mar 6 2005, 04:32 AM
Post #11


t-t-t-toyaaa
********

Group: Official Member
Posts: 19,821
Joined: Apr 2004
Member No: 11,270
hhahahhahaha i was thinking of sex too .. lolz
 
cocoalightning27
post Mar 6 2005, 10:20 AM
Post #12


I have no life
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,119
Joined: Nov 2004
Member No: 66,675
now really, who didn't read the joke before and was not thinking about sex?........
 
Trolling
post Mar 6 2005, 10:22 AM
Post #13


Running
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 596
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 96,064
I think who ever dosent think of sex reading it is not normal... That sounded like a porno 0.0
 
nevernothere
post Mar 6 2005, 10:28 AM
Post #14


the Ray... it filters through
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 575
Joined: Dec 2004
Member No: 76,081
Well c'mon.. you MADE us think that way. Good joke though.
 
lakerfever2476
post Mar 7 2005, 02:37 PM
Post #15


I'm with Stupid.
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 410
Joined: Feb 2004
Member No: 4,973
That joke is so perverted !! =)
 
shortiiex
post Mar 7 2005, 04:18 PM
Post #16


Senior Member
*******

Group: Official Member
Posts: 6,953
Joined: Oct 2004
Member No: 52,702
i think this was already posted..but oh wells

what a dirty mind i have
 
aznxdreamer
post Mar 7 2005, 06:04 PM
Post #17


to hell with you
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,547
Joined: May 2004
Member No: 16,506
this has been posted a couple of times already
 
SMUSHiENESS
post Mar 7 2005, 09:50 PM
Post #18


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 452
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 97,814
lols. there are alot of diffrent versions of that (: but i thihnk i like this one the best.
 
with_time_it_fad...
post Mar 7 2005, 09:52 PM
Post #19


With_time_it_fades
***

Group: Member
Posts: 59
Joined: Nov 2004
Member No: 63,857
the first time i read that i was like what in the world. and then when i finished i was cracking up
 
danishcookiez
post Mar 8 2005, 09:59 PM
Post #20


iuvenesco
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 427
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 101,221
hahaha, that story always cracks me up.
 
FireArrow
post Mar 8 2005, 11:43 PM
Post #21


Senior Member
***

Group: Member
Posts: 90
Joined: Mar 2005
Member No: 110,867
Mhm.. I was thinking of dentist all along... =)...
 
*salcha*
post Mar 8 2005, 11:54 PM
Post #22





Guest
haah i got this before,
first time i read it though, i was like: oh, shoot...
 
5ayuri
post Mar 9 2005, 08:54 PM
Post #23


Too slow.
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,730
Joined: Mar 2005
Member No: 108,320
ive seen that one soo long ago..like 2 years maybe..yup and i was thinking..that
 
lilphoenix
post Mar 11 2005, 01:40 PM
Post #24


I'm just a little bit crazy...
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,119
Joined: Jun 2004
Member No: 19,760
Heard it.
 
to-devastate
post Mar 11 2005, 04:54 PM
Post #25


highfive.
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,301
Joined: Jul 2004
Member No: 32,951
ah, im a dirty girl. tongue.gif
 
*chaneun*
post Mar 12 2005, 06:48 PM
Post #26





Guest
this joke was posted before hammer.gif
 
yukichan
post Mar 13 2005, 03:29 AM
Post #27


I'll never be who I was again..
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,886
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 77,981
QUOTE(nevernothere @ Mar 6 2005, 5:28 AM)
Well c'mon.. you MADE us think that way. Good joke though.
*


agreed...omg...first time hearing it....that was kinda strange...
 
ch33sylici0us
post Mar 13 2005, 04:16 AM
Post #28


my pet rock doesn't like you
****

Group: Member
Posts: 258
Joined: Feb 2004
Member No: 4,866
ok.
 
misoshiru
post Mar 13 2005, 08:30 AM
Post #29


yan lin♥
********

Group: Staff Alumni
Posts: 14,129
Joined: Apr 2004
Member No: 13,627
i've read this one before.
 
pinayprincess
post Mar 14 2005, 10:18 PM
Post #30


Senior Member
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,220
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 81,808
lol thaz funny
 
Litobabygurl88
post Mar 15 2005, 12:30 AM
Post #31


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 313
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 100,825
haha. don't we all
but i read it over again. and it does make sense wacko.gif
 
OREOxCOOKIE
post Mar 16 2005, 12:27 AM
Post #32


Senior Member
***

Group: Member
Posts: 60
Joined: Mar 2005
Member No: 111,376
LOL thats fricken fracken hilarious. and oh so perverted. wink.gif
 
alli
post Mar 17 2005, 07:55 PM
Post #33


alli
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 513
Joined: Apr 2004
Member No: 10,108
haha of course thinking of it..
who wouldnt be..
 
HoodieObsessed
post Mar 18 2005, 04:35 PM
Post #34


^-^
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,676
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 107,668
QUOTE(wind&fire @ Mar 4 2005, 6:45 PM)
it has been posted before... but yes i was thinking out sex...
*


haha, ya me too.....I'm gonna have to read that again thinkign about a dentist pinch.gif

okay, I've read it again...I dont' think this line makes much sense if it was a dentist: "He has had more experience, but it's the first

time his finger has found

the right place."

wait a minute. so all the other items he's pulled ppls teeth his finger found the wrong place? huh.gif hmmmmmmmmm....well, I guess I'm beign a little picky....

...anwyay, funny joke, I hanv't heard it before...i'ts a little disturbing tho laugh.gif
 
ItzOnlySydney
post Mar 18 2005, 04:40 PM
Post #35


deleted
*******

Group: Member
Posts: 3,168
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 92,276
mellow.gif haha.
 
fairyprincess_00...
post Mar 21 2005, 06:33 AM
Post #36


Member
**

Group: Member
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2005
Member No: 115,746
lol. biggrin.gif
 
lilxroxy
post Mar 21 2005, 07:24 AM
Post #37


because i'm worth it
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 990
Joined: Jun 2004
Member No: 24,643
ahah. i wasn`t thinking abt sex even thio i read it the first time. you`re right this is kinda old ( :
 
rockstah_14
post Apr 22 2005, 12:56 AM
Post #38


Senior Member
***

Group: Member
Posts: 47
Joined: Apr 2005
Member No: 125,779
ahahhahhahah! you flippin lil naughty kid!
 
toodlepops.
post Apr 23 2005, 10:45 PM
Post #39


boo
*******

Group: Member
Posts: 5,512
Joined: Dec 2004
Member No: 71,765
I've heard this before but it's still okay.
 
chinesekimchi
post Jun 1 2005, 07:27 PM
Post #40


Sizzling. ;]
****

Group: Member
Posts: 108
Joined: May 2005
Member No: 135,737
WOAHHH!!! I THOUGHT...lol u kno. Lmao that was a good one. =D
 
momo33
post Jun 1 2005, 08:29 PM
Post #41


Member
**

Group: Member
Posts: 28
Joined: Apr 2005
Member No: 132,277
lol omg i thought she was getting rape or somthing.... rofl.... *sigh* >.< but I don't have a dirty mind!!!
 
sweet_devil
post Jun 2 2005, 06:05 AM
Post #42


Senior Member
****

Group: Member
Posts: 121
Joined: May 2005
Member No: 134,309
QUOTE(with_time_it_fades @ Mar 8 2005, 10:52 AM)
the first time i read that i was like what in the world. and then when i finished i was cracking up
*


same...
 
surfhottieoffcoa...
post Jun 2 2005, 01:00 PM
Post #43


Senior Member
****

Group: Member
Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2005
Member No: 121,503
OMG!!!!! THATS SO FUNNY! I THOUGHT THEY WERE.....I'M A PERVERT!!!!!
 
*Weird addiction*
post Jun 2 2005, 01:05 PM
Post #44





Guest
i swear i didn't think dirty whistling.gif
 
literemix24
post Jun 5 2005, 07:33 PM
Post #45


Jessica
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 480
Joined: Jul 2004
Member No: 29,118
Roflmao, oOO dirty. ;]
 
Animeloverhk93
post Jun 11 2005, 04:24 PM
Post #46


JULiiANA FAYE.
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 460
Joined: Apr 2005
Member No: 122,749
wow.. O_O kinda scary lol hehe it got everyone thinking i know! i know just what everyone was thinking too! shifty.gif
 
megan_x3
post Jun 15 2005, 04:34 PM
Post #47


s w e e t e s t
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 808
Joined: Sep 2004
Member No: 46,149
nasty minded.. =) but yes yes .. at first when i read it on my friend's xanga, i thought about sex .. =( bad megan bad !!
 
KERP1UNK
post Jun 15 2005, 06:36 PM
Post #48


i <3 peter
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 744
Joined: Apr 2005
Member No: 125,986
i thought the same too...i almost stopped reading it because i thought it was ... well.. you know. but it was funny when i read the part about the dentist at the end! :P
 
ichigofan
post Jun 15 2005, 07:03 PM
Post #49


Senior Member
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,098
Joined: May 2005
Member No: 143,687
lol omg im so dirtyyyyyyyyy.......... that was funny but now im aggravated
 
hall0w
post Jul 17 2005, 10:46 PM
Post #50


The Noob
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 575
Joined: Jul 2005
Member No: 169,647
lol im naughty pinch.gif
 
xXMomoBubbleTeaX...
post Jul 17 2005, 10:51 PM
Post #51


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 499
Joined: Mar 2005
Member No: 109,961
I kno what I was thinkin..to me it never gets old..plus I forgot it but now I remember it again!!... happy.gif
 
*danielle_x3*
post Jul 18 2005, 09:58 AM
Post #52





Guest
QUOTE(hosing @ Mar 6 2005, 10:22 AM)
I think who ever dosent think of sex reading it is not normal... That sounded like a porno 0.0
*


rofl ! yes i agree. i was like. what !? ermm.gif
 
SMiLEEFORMEE
post Jul 18 2005, 10:15 AM
Post #53


not da vinci's mona lisa <3
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2004
Member No: 39,781
haha i've read so many other things like this. tsk tsk lol
 
Hell-Rell
post Jul 18 2005, 10:19 AM
Post #54


4/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 735
Joined: Jul 2005
Member No: 169,498
that was a good one
 
cookienmilkforna...
post Jul 22 2005, 07:24 PM
Post #55


who goes there?!?!?!
****

Group: Member
Posts: 144
Joined: Jul 2005
Member No: 176,020
haha... thats was funny... i like everyone else was also thinking sex cool.gif
 
pshaa.shauna
post Jul 22 2005, 07:35 PM
Post #56


It eats you, starting with your bottom.
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,999
Joined: Jun 2005
Member No: 160,674
lol...i got that in a forward
 
sadolakced acid
post Jul 23 2005, 03:04 AM
Post #57


dripping destruction
*******

Group: Staff Alumni
Posts: 7,282
Joined: Jun 2004
Member No: 21,929
QUOTE(cocoalightning27 @ Mar 6 2005, 10:20 AM)
now really, who didn't read the joke before and was not thinking about sex?........
*



someone who's never heard of sex and has no idea what it is.
 
sheddingtears
post Jul 26 2005, 06:44 AM
Post #58


Senior Member
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,831
Joined: Jun 2004
Member No: 20,324
haha theres this one about a cow and mosquito.
 
« Next Oldest · Humor · Next Newest »
 

3 Pages V   1 2 3 >
Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

Display Mode: Standard · Switch to: Linear+ · Switch to: Outline

Track this topic · Email this topic · Print this topic