a crappy situation Options

[subzero]

ok, this all started back in August 2004. Me and my youth group for church went to summer camp for a week. There is this one girl Jordyn, didnt really start noticing her till about the third day. (Btw i am a soph in high school and her a frosh) But when i started to like her, i liked her, not a little crush...full on "OMG I WANT YOU". Being as she was one of the first person(s) u could see myself with i couldnt say if it was love or nething. NEways, i kept a distance and jsut watched her. Her cousin Lauren (a senior) and I became VERY VERY close friends, we never left eachothers sides. She was an awesome friend and i kinda used her to get to know Jordyn better. I tried to keep minimal contact with Jordyn as to not piss her off(annoy her) but not ignore her.

Well, its kinda a tradition that while all the guyz in the cabin are layin down w/ the lights off we kinds just talk, guy talks. About girls, sports, most guy stuff. Well, since everybody knew that i liked Jordyn, that was the topic of the night. A junior named Brandon was cool w/ me and had gotten to know Jordyn since we got to camp. He asked me if he wanted him to talk to her for me (put in a good word kinda stuff) I was like yea, (i told him not to push the subject as to blow anything). Well, I started to get to know her more and more and became friends(not the kinda bond me and Lauren had, but friends) (Also note...nobody had the intenntion of me and lauren having feelings for one another, everybody knoew where we stood etc..) neways, so yea im getting to know her and i notice that Brandon is being kinda flirty, didnt think much at first, thought it was weird but i brushed it off. Well, soon i see them really touchy-feely and all over eachother(no making out or nething just really, REALLY, flitry) So this pisses me off, kinda felt like i got stabbed in the back

Well, it was raining outside and so they played "Finding Nemo" in the theatre place, there was a new guy in the scene, Tony. He had been flirty but I was too pissed at brandon to see any of a threat from tony. Well during the movie, they were both laying under a blanket, i see movement etc, at this point i just break. I mean, like heart shattered etc...(like i said b4, it wasnt a crush where i would have brushed it off, it was a powerfull feeling i had for her) i found out later that he "forced" himself on her, but this was after all the heart breaking. Well, soon enough she finds out, i get a note "well, your cool, but i dont feel that way etc..." typical rejection letter, no biggie, i had already been broken, it didnt really bother me at this point.

After we got home, i was sad for about a week or 2, so i just supressed the feelings i had for her and dismissed them. Brandon turned out to be an a**hole and she got all mad over him, and they "broke-up" or w/e they had so it gave me some closure .We all go to the same youth group on tuesday nights so we see eachother all the time. I had no special feelings at this point, i was all fine and dandy, just friends.

But this is where it got weird. This past weekend we went up for winter camp. nothing special hapened to provoke it it, it just surfaced all of a sudden out of nowhere. All of the feelings i had supressed and pushed away about 7 months earlier surfaced. There was no explanation, just all of a sudden they were there.
I tried to do it again, but the feeling are waaaaay stronger then they were before. I cant get her out of my mind. I look at like the cutest girl at my school, or the nicest. But i cant see myself being with neone but her. Nomatter what situation i put myself in with another girl in my mind, the only thing that works is her.


.....help me out, my hair is turning gray over this

[topsyturvy]

Wow. You seem depressed.

Well, she's already sent you a rejection letter.. there's pretty much nothing you can do anymore.

I say you go back to square 1 and start all over.. like making friends, just generally being nice.

Basic guide to winning a girl's <3 :
- help her with homework
- buy her drinks/snacks
- treat her to small surprises every once in a while (keychains/ice cream/earrings.. NOT roses/expensive rings/perfume..)
- always compliment her
- when she does something wrong, explain it nicely
- be there for her when she's depressed, even if she's got a bf (if she finds you trustworthy, she might change her mind)

[subzero]

Wow.  You seem depressed.

lol, its been buggin and sitting for 7 months, when it bubbled to the surface it was jsut a suprise, i was mainly sad wen it happened. Now im just trying to find a way to get her to like me

And that letter wasnt on her own time, there was this one thing at camp where you wrote a letter to some1, forgiving them for something, accepting an apology or just telling them something that was hard to tell in person. so ya, it was kinda a rejection letter, but the contents were more along the lines of "im only a freshman im not old enough..." which i dont understand since she was flirting with a JUNIOR...lol >.>;;

[topsyturvy]

lol, its been buggin and sitting for 7 months, when it bubbled to the surface it was jsut a suprise, i was mainly sad wen it happened. Now im just trying to find a way to get her to like me

And that letter wasnt on her own time, there was this one thing at camp where you wrote a letter to some1, forgiving them for something, accepting an apology or just telling them something that was hard to tell in person. so ya, it was kinda a rejection letter, but the contents were more along the lines of "im only a freshman im not old enough..." which i dont understand since she was flirting with a JUNIOR...lol >.>;;

Ohhh now I see.

Keep trying to win her heart. Impossible is nothing [credits to adidas] .

[*Programmer*]

it it drives you....go for it...what do you have to lose....

[EmmalieV]

well forget about her smeone better will come along.

[Shattered_Hope]

it's very hard to change a girl's feelings when they've made up their mind...and umm...I think the best thing you should do is to move on...you think she's the only one for you probably because of the fact that you haven't met anyone else who makes you feel that way..but if you want to try...again...then try talking to her and getting to know her...more...not just a little bit..show her you care ?

[racoons > you]

hmm... lifes a bitch... let me get this straaight, this happened at a church camp? hmm... lol

you'll be fine.. if she wants to get with a jerk like brandon you're better than her anyway... hearts heal...

im sorry tho. ihave been there

[teeners4]

wait did tony or brandon "forced" himself on her?

but anyways, YOU start flirting.

[FoOd]

Well, if she flirts with a Junior, then she doesn't have a problem to flirt with a Soph right?

Gosh, this girl sounds like a hypocrite. Not to be insulting or anything, it doesn't look like she is worth it.
But if you want to get her, just flirt with her then.

[crazyinlove08]

well heres an idea, my boyfriend what he kinda did is well it was just his personality that caught me because he was funny nice sweet and didnt care what others thought. Just act yourself around her and be funny girls like funny guys well i do atleast so be funny and yourself and dont get shy around her! and flirt with her thats all you can basically do or invite her over nd watch a movie something like that with a bunch of friends!

[subzero]

i think imma get close to her like i did lauren and then make my move.

become REALLY good friends with her, and always be her shoulder to cry on etc..
atm im really good friends w/ her and i feel that its only a matter of time till i will be "in enough"

[sheddingtears]

if she means that much to you, then just go for it...

but she wrote a rejection letter ... and going back and trying again just seems a bit desperate.

she chose someone else over you & that's hurtful, but just try to get that in your head and know that there's someone better out there.

[dancingkait]

if you still want to go for it, just become friends with her. but i wouldnt get your hopes up for anything happening. if she's already said no once then theres still a chance she'll say no again. but just be yourself, be funny and generous and sincere. dont force anything on her. if she feels rushed she might back off and that could totally ruin any chances!

[aznhunnie6o1]

I say you go back to square 1 and start all over.. like making friends, just generally being nice.

Basic guide to winning a girl's <3 :
- help her with homework
- buy her drinks/snacks
- treat her to small surprises every once in a while (keychains/ice cream/earrings.. NOT roses/expensive rings/perfume..)
- always compliment her
- when she does something wrong, explain it nicely
- be there for her when she's depressed, even if she's got a bf (if she finds you trustworthy, she might change her mind)

Agreed. Try to make her laugh alot too. Good luck with Jordyn

[xj_liana_tx]

god... i know how you feel. but you can't really do anything if she doesn't like you.
try to flirt with her (but DON'T annoy her or follow her around) and see how she reacts.

[angelrevelation]

wait he didnt RAPE her right?? just making sure...

she seems a little erm... flirty.... just give it time. maybe your feelings will wear off. if not, do the little things (help her with things, be yourself)

[subzero]

wait he didnt RAPE her right?? just making sure...

she seems a little erm... flirty....  just give it time.  maybe your feelings will wear off.  if not, do the little things (help her with things, be yourself)

no he didnt rape her, he(tony) just forcefuly felt her up

[subzero]

ok, well, i told her, but now im just having a hard time reading her response


well, we were at a friends house watching a movie, there were only 5 of us, me, jordyn, eddie(laurens bf) lauren, and jessica(laurens friend), me and jordyn were using my phone and writing notes to eachother(type, erase, then respond) not actually texting. I knew she liked some guy and since i have been trying to be the good friend was asking her who he is/is he good looking, nice etc...well some a**hole slipped up and told her that i had a big crush on somebody, luckily no names were given out. So we were kinda teasing eachother asking questions about the other person, i was kind of hinting, but minimally. I was describing the girl i like and saying how i cant stop thinking about her and stuff like that, trying to be "cute".

We were writing to eachother back and forth for about half the movie and we finally get to a standstill where it was "you tell, no you, no you" kinda stuff. Well, i tell her that i like her. Not wanting the situation to get akward i asked her who this guy was etc...(trying to make conversation)she wouldnt say, she kinda acted like there was no guy, she kept changing the subject. This is where im confused. I hear that like 99% of the time a girl will like a guy after they find out that he is pursuing her, is this the case? Did she maybee stop liking this other guy and start liking me all of a sudden?
(and i might add, that this guy, is NO competition for me from wat iv heard, not to boast, but i hear hes obnoxious, immature{typical freshman})

She has liked about 3 guyz in the past 3 months(im like one of her closest friends, she tells me everything) and all of them ended in them not liking her, so i was talking with her on AIM the other day and she sounded really bad, like desperate for a relationship, i think she was just freaking out, like saying how nobody liked her etc(i of course comforted and told her thats not true)...so i think this dude she was liking was just some1 because she cant function withought liking somebody(i have no idea, i dont think ill ever understand women)

sorry for all these long posts

[missknowitall141...]

wait- first of all, are all the guys after her? if so try to be different in a way. do the little things- NOT the big things. the little things are what counts. make her feel wanted, and safe. trust me, there are multiple guys that like me, but this one special one really won me over, he was gentle, nice, he actally listened to me, not just stared at my boobs, and he made me feel safe, like if another guy was making me feel uncomfortable he would step in. so for now, just be like a friend to her, like you are always there. maybe one day she will see you as more then a friend- if she doesnt...well then you cant do anything. but it is better to have her as a friend then not in your life at all. it might be hard to execpt that fact but...really there is nothing you can really do . i have been in quite a few of those situations and there is nothing you can do but just hope that that one special person will like you. ....i really feel sorry for you...like really bad, i know how you feel. if you need anymore advice or support, send me an email or something

[justalanna]

You can either:

a) forget about her since she already "rejected" you and find someone else to go crazy over; or

b) start over and try to become her friend again, and do all the nice things that guys do when they like a girl and just see what happens.

Good luck. =)

[subzero]

You can either:

a) forget about her since she already "rejected" you and find someone else to go crazy over; or

b) start over and try to become her friend again, and do all the nice things that guys do when they like a girl and just see what happens.

Good luck. =)

a)well she was showing signs that I interpreted as showing interest, but im really bad at trying to figure out girls so thats y i posted this last situation to see if anybody could "translate" it for me lol

b) i did and i think that she may like me(read above^) i became the one she comes to wen she has a problem(thats y she told me all this)

wait- first of all, are all the guys after her?

and no, im pretty much the only one thats pursuing her, like it said above, she was freaking out that night cause she thought nobody liked her, and as far as i know, im the only one

[KELLYYY]

It's your turn to flirt.

[missknowitall141...]

well if you are the only guy....make her feel welcomed...like kinda flatter her, but dont over do it.

[toodlepops.]

Seems like both of you are really close now.
Just keep doing what you're doing, and we'll see where it goes from there. ;)

[subzero]

well, most of you werre right, if she didnt like me in the first place she probably wouldnt again. She told me tonight , im fine really, sad, but not devastated. I realized that the reason i felt for her this wasy was because she was the first girl i had ever "really" liked.

Im already recouperating, it sux, but im fine. Im just a really emotional guy and get attached easily(which has its good and bad sides) and i jsut put too much of myself into this even though i knew she probably still didnt like me.

I thank you guyz for responding and giving me the support and advice, but i guess wen a heart is made up it cant be changed. Ppl are telling me to not give up on it, but this is the third time, i think im ready to let it go...

And with that, i close this thread.


-Travis

[whomps]

Wait it seems like you barely even know this girl. You see yourself with her but you don't even know her. It seems like.. you only like her because of her appearance or something.

Oh wait crap, you already responded. Meh. Good luck finding another girl to go after. Best wishes to yooooooou.