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funny nightmares
*Fallen_Fairy*
post Feb 12 2005, 08:19 AM
Post #1





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NIGHTMARE #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
NIGHTMARE #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother"
NIGHTMARE #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"
 
lilxroxy
post Feb 12 2005, 09:27 AM
Post #2


because i'm worth it
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LOL oh em gee. ahha. nice one[s] ( :
 
sweetdreamsx3
post Feb 12 2005, 02:47 PM
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The second one is soooo ewwww and I'm eating. -.-
 
oXMuhNirvanaXo
post Feb 12 2005, 02:53 PM
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I love them they are so funny I didnt get the 3edon as much as the other 2 but they where really funny .. Good ones biggrin.gif
 
demolished
post Feb 12 2005, 03:58 PM
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i like the first one, it's hilarouis and disgusting.
 
Trolling
post Feb 12 2005, 07:19 PM
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Third one was the best... Id love to meet that kinda of family 0.0
 
azngrl7691
post Feb 12 2005, 08:13 PM
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i already heard the first one i thought the third was funniest
 
dani41790
post Feb 12 2005, 08:33 PM
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rofl! the second one is completely wrong
 
cocoalightning27
post Feb 12 2005, 09:49 PM
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Lol these are funny
 
lilphoenix
post Feb 12 2005, 10:30 PM
Post #10


I'm just a little bit crazy...
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Whoa... Loved them all.

QUOTE(hosing @ Feb 12 2005, 7:19 PM)
Third one was the best... Id love to meet that kinda of family 0.0

Easy... put your hand on the intercom of the house.
 
exbhai
post Feb 13 2005, 02:04 AM
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Seriously funny stuff, second one was a bit... grotty though
 
jnukes
post Feb 13 2005, 04:13 AM
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tha third was tha best .. tha 2nd was next best .. tha 3rd one .. i've heard sooo many times ....
 
Wishful_Dream
post Feb 13 2005, 06:38 AM
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whoa.. those are scary.. x.x
 
SMUSHiENESS
post Feb 13 2005, 09:30 AM
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0.0 ewww the 2st and 2nd ones are just, bleh... lols but the 3rd one is LMAO funnieness
 
lilxroxy
post Feb 16 2005, 07:01 AM
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i told my guy friends..and it freaked them out tongue.gif
 
pandamonium
post Feb 16 2005, 10:00 AM
Post #16


cheeeesy like theres no tomorrow
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ahha thats a great one lol i love all of them.
 
swtchangel
post Feb 16 2005, 06:19 PM
Post #17


KUH - rasy .
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ahahah hilarious ! i loved them all happy.gif
 
xbr0kensmil3
post Feb 16 2005, 07:04 PM
Post #18


whatever d00de
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lmao the 3rd one's hilarious
 
mai_z
post Feb 16 2005, 09:21 PM
Post #19


unify and defeat... divide and crumble
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Lmao i love the last one...how is that a nightmare?? i'm sure any guy would love that
 
literemix24
post Feb 20 2005, 12:55 PM
Post #20


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lol. x] wow these are pretty funnie.
 
Archana
post Feb 20 2005, 09:23 PM
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Haha. "You'll wake your mom"
rofl. (^__^)*
 
MiLKDUD_DOKiE
post Feb 20 2005, 10:24 PM
Post #22


live life to the fullest <3
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FUNNY<3 but the second one is weird o.O
 
shortiiex
post Feb 21 2005, 08:24 PM
Post #23


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LMFAO.....
 
*Fallen_Fairy*
post Feb 21 2005, 09:23 PM
Post #24





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I'm glad ya'll liked them. I'll see if I can find some more. =)
 
Animelover113
post Feb 21 2005, 11:30 PM
Post #25


don't leave me alone again
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hahahahaha! those are funny
 
5ayuri
post Mar 15 2005, 07:10 PM
Post #26


Too slow.
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hahaa i liked the first 2 better but there all funny
 
gaby
post Mar 23 2005, 06:20 PM
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Those are so funny. The second one is so gross. They are still hilarious.
 
*salcha*
post Mar 24 2005, 12:27 AM
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aghhh those were seriously nightmares lol
 
FoOd
post Mar 24 2005, 12:37 AM
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Omigosh, those are all bad nightmares laugh.gif
 
misoshiru
post Mar 24 2005, 09:01 AM
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hahahahahahh..the 2nd one was so wrong.
 
*mzkandi*
post Mar 24 2005, 06:30 PM
Post #31





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ok i had this crazy nightmare....

i just finished watching jurassic park and decided to go to bed. in my dream the trex was chasing me and my family all around town. my next door neighbor tried to hide all my family in her closet but the trex ate her...i woke up in shock

the next week i had the sequel to the dream....the trex was chasing me and my family in some mudd, and it was like we were running in slow motion...we finally get the edge of the cliff and all jump off but the trex jumps off too and falls on us then i wake up......
 
Levy2k6
post Mar 24 2005, 07:11 PM
Post #32


Word.
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i heard them all but I really enjoyed the last one.. lol.
 
WrathOfOnigo
post Mar 24 2005, 09:42 PM
Post #33


Hah! Its funny cause its true...
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The first one is funny.
The second one is disturbing.
The third one I have heard before but it is still funny. laugh.gif
 
tobeyum
post Mar 25 2005, 07:53 AM
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hahaha.. the first one's the funniest laugh.gif
 
Trolling
post Mar 25 2005, 11:23 AM
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I wouldnt mind the 3rd one... Dad sounds coolies to me
 
swe3ttemptasian
post Mar 25 2005, 01:00 PM
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hahah the 3rd one is the funniest!
 
blah1234567
post Mar 25 2005, 08:27 PM
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the second one was the worst
 
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