Bart and the Blackboard, All of 'em |
Humor Forum Rules
Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.
The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:
NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.
NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.
Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.
Thank you.
  |
 Jan 23 2005, 05:48 PM
Post
#1
|
|
 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 2,746 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 17,125  |
For those of you who don't watch the Simpsons religiously, part of the opening credits shows Bart Simpson writing the same sentence over and over again on a chalkboard - remininscent of the whole "write it 100 times" punishment, which establishes him as a troublemaker. Each episode (when they use this version of the credits-the Simpsons are famous for changing opening and closing credits mid-season) is usually different. Someone apparently went through the trouble of taping all the Simpsons, watching them all and writing down what Bart is writing on the board. These are the collected writings of the Simpsons from the chalkboard exercises that Bart writes during the opening credits.
 I will not carve gods. I will not spank others. I will not aim for the head. I will not barf unless I'm sick I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I saw nthing unusual in the teacher's lounge. I wil not conduct my own fire drills. Funny noises are not funny. I will not snap bras. I will not fake seizures. This punishment is not boring and pointless. My name is not Dr. Death. I will not defame New Orleans. I will not prescribe medication. I will not bury the new kid. I will not teach others to fly. I will not bring sheep to class. A burp is not an answer. Teacher is not a leper. Coffee is not for kids. I will not eat things for money. I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee. I will not call the principal "spud head". Goldfish don't bounce. Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. No one is interested in my underpants. I will not sell miracle cures. I will return the seeing-eye dog. I do not have diplomatic immunity. I will not charge admission to the bathroom. I will never win an emmy. The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy. All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy. I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause. I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man. I will not go near the kindergarten turtle. I am not deliciously saucy. Organ transplants are best left to professionals. The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan". I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. There are plenty of businesses like show business. Five days is not too long to wait for a gun. I will not waste chalk. I will not skateboard in the halls. I will not instigate revolution. I will not draw naked ladies in class. I did not see Elvis. I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes". Garlic gum is not funny. They are laughing at me, not with me. I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom. I will not encourage others to fly. I will not fake my way through life. Tar is not a plaything. I will not Xerox my butt. It's potato, not potatoe. I will not trade pants with others. I am not a 32 year old woman. I will not do that thing with my tongue. I will not drive the principal's car. I will not pledge allegiance to Bart. I will not sell school property. I will not burp in class. I will not cut corners. I will not get very far with this attitude. I will not belch the National Anthem. I will not sell land in Florida. I will not grease the monkey bars. I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment. I will not do anything bad ever again. I will not show off. I will not sleep through my education. I am not a dentist. Spitwads are not free speech. Nobody likes sunburn slappers. High explosives and school don't mix. I will not bribe Principal Skinner. I will not squeak chalk. I will finish what I sta "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender. Underwear should be worn on the inside. The Christmas Pageant does not stink. I will not torment the emotionally frail. |
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 05:50 PM
Post
#2
|
|
 kristin Group: Member Posts: 5,705 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,985 |
hahaha
i've never watched that show..a lot of my friends are like obsessed with it though |
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 05:51 PM
Post
#3
|
|
 It feels like electricity; Group: Member Posts: 493 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 59,331 |
thats great. there is a poster you can buy with most of those sayings.....
:) |
|
|
|
| *stephinika* |
Jan 23 2005, 05:52 PM
Post
#4
|
|
Guest |
haha wow what a list...and yeah i think i've seen that poster or something somewhere before.
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 05:54 PM
Post
#5
|
|
 You Kicked My Dog. Group: Member Posts: 305 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 69,782 |
That's halirious I like the one were he says "I will not Xerox my butt"
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 05:55 PM
Post
#6
|
|
 Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
haha wow thats alot
|
|
|
|
| *Solipsist* |
Jan 23 2005, 05:56 PM
Post
#7
|
|
Guest |
What a waste of time.
- Solipsist |
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 06:03 PM
Post
#8
|
|
 dizzy me up. Group: Member Posts: 3,191 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,139 |
woah O_O
i always wanted to know what it said cus they show it so fast. |
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 06:07 PM
Post
#9
|
|
 I have no life Group: Member Posts: 1,119 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 66,675 |
Really cool......Bart is a genuis!
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 06:07 PM
Post
#10
|
|
 <3<3<3<3 Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 3,177 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,779 |
i'm not reading all of those.
shooo. O_O |
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 06:56 PM
Post
#11
|
|
 I'm just a little bit crazy... Group: Member Posts: 1,119 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 19,760 |
did you actually spend time recording that or did you just 'borrowed' from another site?
|
|
|
|
| *wind&fire* |
Jan 23 2005, 07:07 PM
Post
#12
|
|
Guest |
that was great!
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 08:53 PM
Post
#13
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 433 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,380 |
that's a lot! and funny
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 23 2005, 11:56 PM
Post
#14
|
|
 wake me up when september ends Group: Member Posts: 281 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,381 |
god that cracked me up so bad thank you so much haha
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 24 2005, 12:00 AM
Post
#15
|
|
|
gigi =p Group: Member Posts: 3,679 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,206 |
Are they in chronological order?
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 24 2005, 07:47 PM
Post
#16
|
|
 whaaaaaaat? Group: Member Posts: 2,293 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,660 |
o snappp. go simpsons. can't believe someone would take the time to write all that..
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 24 2005, 08:26 PM
Post
#17
|
|
 november 25th,, <3 Group: Member Posts: 473 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,226 |
wow...thats a lot!, but im afarid to says that not all of them.
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 26 2005, 04:01 AM
Post
#18
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,266 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 39,600 |
hahaha these are funnay
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 26 2005, 04:50 AM
Post
#19
|
|
 i'm a d0rk =) Group: Member Posts: 209 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 88,870 |
heres another one. haha just watched it tonight :D " A gorilla cannot teach gym class "
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 27 2005, 05:50 PM
Post
#20
|
|
 unify and defeat... divide and crumble Group: Member Posts: 2,759 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,379 |
|
|
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: