Will you go out with me?, please? |
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 Jan 20 2005, 06:21 AM
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#1
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 ~The CB Advice Giver~  Group: Member Posts: 505 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 53,021  |
Why is it that its so hard for us guys to ask such a question?
Take me for example, i have a few girls i like at school, and they are both really really good friends of mine. One of them is dating someone but i've mentioed it casualy t her if she would go out with me if she wasnt dating her current bf. She said yes *curses*. The other girl is single and we are good friends and all but i cant pop the question! I can get close but i always back out. What is it with guys and asking girls? What is it with girls and not asking the guys. Here is my question to everyone, but i really want ot see a girls opinion on this Why does it tend to be easier to ask some one you just me/known for a short time out *say a friend of a friends friend* but its almost impossible for you to ask out a very very good friend of yours htat you have known for awhile? |
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Jan 20 2005, 06:28 AM
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#2
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 Holla if ya hate me Group: Member Posts: 2,386 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 80,819 |
Not a girl but
 Your really good friends... maybe your scared to ask them out because you already know them very well, even though you already know her you might not know how she reacts and could be embarrased or something of what she says. Her saying no might affect you in some way you just dont know it? Your sub-concious is trying to protect you from that? I-ono xP... adsfkjshdfklahdfklahdfjklafha |
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Jan 20 2005, 06:32 AM
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#3
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~The CB Advice Giver~ Group: Member Posts: 505 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 53,021 |
yeah im afraid i guess, dont know why but i am
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Jan 20 2005, 06:33 AM
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#4
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 yan lin♥ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 14,129 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,627 |
i dont know. i've asked a guy out who i'm good friends with. but ok..different situation, it was just as friends cuz i didnt have anyone to eat dinner with.
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Jan 20 2005, 06:42 AM
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#5
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 15 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,512 |
well, the only answer i can think of to that is...
you're more afraid to ask out a good friend, cuz you're afraid of what could happen afterwards. you're sub-consciously afraid that you might change something between you two, and you don't wanna do that to your friendship. my advice is... just ask her. guys and girls are obviously different. guys tend to get embarrassed and ignore the girl who asks him out (if he doesn't like her). girls aren't as likely to do that, cuz most of them understand ... in some way. |
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Jan 20 2005, 06:51 AM
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#6
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 Apr 24 '05* 1000 posts! Group: Member Posts: 1,184 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 56,049 |
dude, thanks for the comment just now. i made a new xangA!
anyway. i think it's because if u're with someone for a very short period of time, u dont know them well enough. and it wouldn't matter if u were rejected. but, if u've known someone for a long time, sometimes u just dont want to break ur friendship. or maybe.. u know them a lot better and it would hurt to be rejected? |
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| *stephinika* |
Jan 20 2005, 06:59 PM
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#7
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Guest |
because of the fear of rejection and things becoming weird with that person if it doesn't work out or if they say no.
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Jan 20 2005, 07:01 PM
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#8
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Rofl. I was about to say "Sorry, this isn't a "hook-ups" forum."
Anyway.. it's probably because of fear. People don't like to feel embarrassed, sad, or rejected. |
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Jan 20 2005, 07:02 PM
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#9
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,564 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,336 |
For me, i'm nervous to ask a guy out so, i wait 'til the guy askes me. But girls, don't want to ask the guys out because they'll be afraid of rejection or their just scarred.
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Jan 20 2005, 07:04 PM
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#10
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im' edible Group: Member Posts: 1,529 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 23,022 |
QUOTE(LEDO_D0RKETTE @ Jan 20 2005, 7:02 PM) But girls, don't want to ask the guys out because they'll be afraid of rejection or their just scarred.  Guys feel the same way. |
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Jan 20 2005, 07:13 PM
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#11
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 3,957 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,665 |
girls are more sensitive, there is a day where girls ask guys to go to the dance though...
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Jan 20 2005, 07:19 PM
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#12
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 ...and this is me.. Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 |
err...well..I've never been in this situation...but I'll try...you're afraid to ask a good friend..becuz you're scared it might ruin the friendship....if it was a simple friend you wouldnt care....enough said. problem solved. ask her out.
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Jan 20 2005, 07:22 PM
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#13
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 i need an sn change. Group: Member Posts: 1,915 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,746 |
i agree with shoester. smart kid.
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Jan 20 2005, 07:55 PM
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#14
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 5,585 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,082 |
You're afraid of rejection because she's a really close friend of yours and you don't want any awkward moments.
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Jan 20 2005, 08:14 PM
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#15
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 nOW wHY tHE hELL aRE tHEY bLINKIN'!?! Group: Member Posts: 116 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,739 |
i guess guys just get too stressed and back out because they wanna avoid the chance of getting turned down
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Jan 20 2005, 08:43 PM
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#16
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 tower over me Group: Member Posts: 1,190 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,717 |
being turned down for a girl seems to be a very dramatic matter.
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Jan 20 2005, 08:46 PM
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#17
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 free hugs Group: Member Posts: 188 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,202 |
if im friends with the guy and hes flirting, then i would b dying 4 him to ask me out. dont hesitate and dont be pervish
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Jan 20 2005, 08:57 PM
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#18
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 cameraman swing the focus! Group: Member Posts: 1,880 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,328 |
QUOTE(Oreo_bro @ Jan 20 2005, 6:21 AM) Why does it tend to be easier to ask some one you just me/known for a short time out *say a friend of a friends friend* but its almost impossible for you to ask out a very very good friend of yours htat you have known for awhile? it's harder to ask a really good friend out because if he/she rejects you to go out, you're friendship would probably be just awkward afterwards. on the other hand if you just ask someone you barely know out, it is easier because you don't really know them that well and it doesn't really matter is he/sher rejects you or not. sorry, i'm not good at these kind of things. 
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Jan 20 2005, 09:02 PM
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#19
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 Kris is getting bonified. Group: Member Posts: 3,172 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 67,366 |
QUOTE(LEDO_D0RKETTE @ Jan 20 2005, 7:02 PM) For me, i'm nervous to ask a guy out so, i wait 'til the guy askes me. But girls, don't want to ask the guys out because they'll be afraid of rejection or their just scarred. exactly and same wit me  anyways..maybe ur scared bc u think ull be rejected thats all..and go for it! i mean wut do u got to lose rite? 
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Jan 20 2005, 09:16 PM
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#20
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I love you <33333 Group: Member Posts: 2,928 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,404 |
With me, I usually never like my close guy friends as b/f's because they feel like brothers.
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| *ih8coffee* |
Jan 21 2005, 03:56 AM
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#21
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Hmm.. interesting topic. I think I should ask guys out more often then, even if it's just a friendly outing. LOL.
I shall TAKE THE INITIATIVE so the poor guy doesn't have to feel uneasy... TEEHEE 
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Jan 21 2005, 04:39 AM
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#22
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 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
i think it's harder to ask out someone who you are really good friends with because there is always that risk that if the relationship for some reasons ends badly that the friendship will be ruined. also about rejection. if you don't date but you had asked your good friend it makes the friendship a little bit awkward whereas a friend of a friend it's not because you might never even talk to this person again. also about why do usually guys ask out the girls. well because that's the old fashioned way. like that's the way it's basically been going on forever. it seems more "manly" for a guy to step up and ask the girl. whereas if the girl does it, it seems improper. so that's why; people just basically stick with what works and what works is the guy asks the girl. but since times are changing now it's getting mroe acceptable for girls to ask out guys but because they haven't been doing this before, theres a greater fear of rejection. then again, these are all my opinions
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| *wind&fire* |
Jan 21 2005, 09:42 AM
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#23
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attack the problem as if you have to go into a cold pool...
jump right in and get it all done... |
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Jan 21 2005, 01:28 PM
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#24
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 i'm susan Group: Official Member Posts: 13,875 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,029 |
1 -- It's probably because you're afraid that you will lose a friendship with her.
2 -- It's probably because she will ignore you and will not hang out with you a lot. 3 -- It's probably because she might say no and you don't want to feel any rejection. 4 -- It's probably because you don't have any plans for a relationship like you're not yet ready for a relationship. Heh... |
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Jan 21 2005, 04:33 PM
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#25
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 it's our chemistry Group: Member Posts: 1,151 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,775 |
Fear of rejection.
...just wondering, but why do you seriously like to people at the same time? Isn't that kind of a problem...? ._. |
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