im not perfect...sorry, comment please |
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 Dec 20 2004, 03:15 PM
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#1
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 my <3 is in Ohio  Group: Member Posts: 899 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,599  |
this is a poem i wrote last year and yeah i know it kinda sucks but tell me what you think anyways alright? leave suggestions to okay? help me make it better!
IM NOT PERFECT...SORRY nobody is perfect those are the words i recall you telling me now you torment me you take back all the good things you said the truths you once told are now lies i don'tknow why you'd do this to me but i guess there is never a reason you say now that i should be perfect or i will never be accepted well that's not what you told me then but i guess now is what really matters i stay for mom's sake mom told me what he did to you i will never do that to my children i promise you that i told you that then now it is now and you are dying mom made me visit you i will never forget what you did i hate you more then anything else but in the last minutes of your life i say... i'm sorry i wasn't perfect |
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Dec 21 2004, 03:12 AM
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#2
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 Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
isn't there a song about this that the radio stations won't stop playing? if you are serious about this poem you should probably rewrite it a few times to make it different from the one on the radio. from 1-10 i give it a 3.
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Dec 21 2004, 11:31 AM
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#3
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my <3 is in Ohio Group: Member Posts: 899 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,599 |
yeah i know what your talking about and i think i know how to improve it so once again thank you for your imput!
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| *tyedyefroggy* |
Dec 22 2004, 11:43 AM
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#4
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Guest |
Ones on the radio? Ahh, Im soo confused LoL
NE ways, I like it, just tweek it alittle and it will be really good. |
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Dec 22 2004, 03:08 PM
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#5
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my <3 is in Ohio Group: Member Posts: 899 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,599 |
thank you
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Dec 22 2004, 03:18 PM
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#6
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 ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 14,309 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,593 |
mad props on the poem dude. has a good flow to it. and a powerful meaning. =)
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Dec 22 2004, 11:52 PM
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#7
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 i'm susan Group: Official Member Posts: 13,875 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,029 |
umm yeah kinda weird........................ it's not a good poem for a title like "im not perfect"........need a new title, but the rest...um was ok.
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Dec 23 2004, 11:38 AM
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#8
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 This bitch better work! Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 13,681 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,095 |
i got kinda confused in the middle. but good job.
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Dec 23 2004, 11:57 AM
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#9
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my <3 is in Ohio Group: Member Posts: 899 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,599 |
thank you for your comment
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