My Grandma, a poem |
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 Nov 26 2004, 08:16 PM
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#1
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 I'm Lost In My Own kryptonite  Group: Member Posts: 59 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 61,556  |
i wrote this poem today, for my grandma, who does everything to help others before she helps herself, she drives from panama city FLA to Warner robins GA just to visit my aunt and uncle and to help others. she drives people to the bank when she goes to georgia once a month, she runs to the store for people who need food, or does arronds for people, she takes care of anyone who may need it, and she doens't expect anything in return. the thing i love most about my grandma is that she is kind to all and always manages to help those who need it, i truly belive she was an angel sent to heaven to help others. she's the best person in my life.i would like some feedback on the poem if that will be possible....here's the poem titled.....
"my grandma" A beautiful angel With a heart so warm Sent from heaven In a woman’s form She helps others In their time of need She does so much And has no greed Always on her feet Going here or there Not wasting any time And always being fair It’s amazing how She can do so much She must be an angel With heaven’s touch How else can you explain The goodness of her ways This woman’s my grandma She never seizes to amaze LeKeyshia Marie Richardson Copyright ©2004 LeKeyshia Marie Richardson |
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Nov 26 2004, 08:30 PM
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#2
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I love you <33333 Group: Member Posts: 2,928 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,404 |
thats a great poem.....my grandma is like that too....she's always trying to do things for others
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Nov 26 2004, 08:45 PM
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#3
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 freedom Group: Member Posts: 844 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,358 |
That is very nice! I like it!
I miss my grandma so much. 
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Nov 27 2004, 01:45 PM
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#4
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I'm Lost In My Own kryptonite Group: Member Posts: 59 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 61,556 |
 thank you. and i miss my grandma too, i rarely get to see her now that i have moved to al, but when i lived in ga, i saw her once a month. it was nice now i'm sad... 
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Nov 27 2004, 02:28 PM
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#5
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 hi, my name is brianna! =] Group: Official Member Posts: 5,764 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,114 |
That's a wonderful poem.
I wish my grandma was still here..
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Nov 27 2004, 04:25 PM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 35 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 53,690 |
aww that is beautiful
i love it! |
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Nov 27 2004, 04:42 PM
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#7
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 jellyfishing, jellyfishing Group: Member Posts: 1,174 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 55,185 |
that's reeaallly nice! reminds me of my grandma! good job
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Nov 27 2004, 06:00 PM
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#8
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 Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
unless im mistaken, the word you're looking for is 'ceases'. That was really good. That reminds me of my grandma. A bit repetitive. I think you really captured what you were aiming for.
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Nov 28 2004, 01:10 AM
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#9
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I'm Lost In My Own kryptonite Group: Member Posts: 59 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 61,556 |
thank you all, i'm happy to hear so many good things about it 
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