desperate measures |
Humor Forum Rules
Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.
The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:
NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.
NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.
Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.
Thank you.
  |
 Nov 21 2004, 05:03 PM
Post
#1
|
|
 Member  Group: Member Posts: 16 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 56,419  |
there was this guy that was really down on his luck: he had lost his job and his home, his wife ran away with his plumber, his parents had disowned him, and he has to pay amnesty to his children. one day, he was on a bus heading nowhere when this OLD lady got on and proceeded towards him. she noticed his melancholy state of being and asked him what was ailing him. he told her about his troubles. "well," said the old lady, "you might be in luck. you see young man, i am actually a witch, and i can make all your troubles go away." before the man could get excited she added, "but on one condition," she continued, "you have to make love to me." the man figured that he's got nothing left to lose, so he might as well go for it.
upon arriving at the lady's house, she proceeded to undress herself. now, this woman was UGLY: she had liver spots all over her, breasts were sagging all the way down to her knees, and wrinkles smothered her body. she was horrifyingly UGLY. the man realised that he was doing this to get his life back, so he went on with it. the next morning, after they were done, the old lady and the man were laying in bed. he was feeling very dirty right about now. the lady turned to him and asked if he would like some breakfast. the man denied and got dressed to leave. the lady put on her robe and walked him to the door. "now, are you sure everything is back to normal?" the man asked. "of course, "said the lady, "you still have your job and home, your wife and kids are back at home and love you dearly, and you're relationship with your parents is okay." he thanked her and proceeded to leave. for the first time in weeks, he felt great knowing his life was put back together. he walked out the door and walked down the stairs of her porch. he turned to her and thanked her again. the lady then stopped him and asked, "by the way, young man, how old are you?" "well, im 28," said the man. "well, aren't you a little old to be believing in witches?" the lady said and slammed the door. |
|
|
|
|
Nov 21 2004, 05:11 PM
Post
#2
|
|
 WWMD?! - i am from the age of BM 2 Group: Member Posts: 5,308 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,848 |
haha poor guy
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 21 2004, 06:08 PM
Post
#3
|
|
 A.K.A. Simplicityxx Group: Member Posts: 1,878 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 56,813 |
hahah. aww poor guy.
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 21 2004, 07:44 PM
Post
#4
|
|
 Knight of the Black Flames Group: Member Posts: 428 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 23,166 |
 Please don't be so descriptive of the body please lol
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 21 2004, 08:12 PM
Post
#5
|
|
 skaters gonna skate. Group: Official Member Posts: 6,861 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,336 |
Lol gross. Sucks to be him.
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 21 2004, 11:06 PM
Post
#6
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 88 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,472 |
haha poor guy but smart old lady
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 22 2004, 08:21 AM
Post
#7
|
|
 xinistical member Group: Member Posts: 123 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,328 |
ew! poor guy...lmao.
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 22 2004, 02:03 PM
Post
#8
|
|
 Magic Crayons Group: Member Posts: 142 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 62,315 |
too bad for that guy
|
|
|
|
| *jooleeah* |
Nov 23 2004, 11:05 PM
Post
#9
|
|
Guest |
Grossss.
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 24 2004, 01:33 PM
Post
#10
|
|
|
I love you <33333 Group: Member Posts: 2,928 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,404 |
umm....thatds gross....and not even funny
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 24 2004, 01:38 PM
Post
#11
|
|
 I like it like that Group: Member Posts: 1,248 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 5,961 |
lol. I've heard different versions of this joke.
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 25 2004, 11:50 AM
Post
#12
|
|
 im making a come back! woohoo Group: Member Posts: 395 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,819 |
LMAO LMAO LMAO
and EEEEWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWEEEEEWWWWWWWW |
|
|
|
|
Nov 28 2004, 12:37 AM
Post
#13
|
|
 LiLaZnGurL Group: Member Posts: 969 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,072 |
ewwwwwwwwww
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 28 2004, 03:48 PM
Post
#14
|
|
 old school member Group: Member Posts: 1,796 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 843 |
stupid guy
|
|
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: