Broken, Please Please leave comments Options

[Fallen4Mshadows]

I cant help feeling like my world is going to ashes. The darkness falls and I can still see the red embers of my broken heart. You took it and through it into those beautiful ashes without question and its warmth emraced it like you used to. Its warmth radiated from it like it used to radiate from you. Now you're cold and icy and there is nothing coming my way from you other than false admiration and caring. I know there's no hope for us. You changed. We could have been happy. We could have been toghether forever but you turned away from my love and embrace and you went in the direction of other things. You traded me in for high spirits and good times that last a few hours. You traded a lifetime of happines for hours of sinful pleasure. Was I not enough for you? Was the satisfaction of another substance more enjoyable than the love and support i gave to you day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year? We were the infinate. We were the ones who were different. We could have shared forever but you gave it all away. You have broken me and i feel as if i will never be able to recover from this nightmare you've put me through. My heart still aches with your memory and my dreams are still haunted by your presence. What am i to do? We were in love, we were happy. Not anymore. Now alone, I find myself broken, remembering times when your arms were around me. Times when the beating of your heart next to mine and the sound of your breathing was all i needed to be comforted. All of it is gone now. Im left standing in the middle of an empty desolate, world that used to be our world. The world in which everything was happiness and love was always around us. The world in which each star had a different reason why we were meant to be with each other and there simply werent enogh stars anymore. But now those stars have faded. One by one they dissapeared as we drifted farther and farther away from each other. Now the sky is clear. My world is empty and lonely and at the end of it all I've excepted my new identity.. im just a
broken girl....

ok i know its not a poem but i just wanted your opinions on if the imagery really gets across... feel free to be brutally honest... i want to be a writer when i get older so i need constructive criticism... thanx!