A Drug's Rapacity Options

[*Kathleen*]

I hate drugs.


"A Drug's Rapacity"
I dream of concocting a subterfuge to move on
Yet, his inscrutable behavior attracts me
Regardless of his nonchalant actions, he's gone

The infamous (yet equally nefarious) friend is to blame
It's love...despite his incorrigible behavior
Granted, deep down, all men are all but one in the same

My body collapses as I take the plunge below
Deeper I sink as the ubiquitousness of water surrounds
I made sure to leave the letter - a guarantee for him to know

No more sanguine-natured friends to speak
No more paranoid nights spent battling tears
No more contemplating the future as being so bleak

My chagrin brought upon his temerity
My volatility annihilated by his melancholy
This lugubrious immolation defies my tenacity

If only this were not so useless
If only his eyes were not sewn shut
He might have seen how they are utterly deleterious

[NatiMarie]

Excellent use of words Kathleen.

I like the flow of it.

I dream of concocting a subterfuge to move on
Yet, his inscrutable behavior attracts me
Regardless of his nonchalant actions, he's gone

The first two lines...kind of don't flow together. First you're saying that you want to make a blind person move on, yet their behavior attracts me. The 'yet' kind of...messes up the rhythm of the message. The third line...regardless of his casual ways...he's gone. I like the meaning, but it's kind of hard to be in that type of situation. They don't like together. Being casual and gone...eep!

The infamous (yet equally nefarious) friend is to blame
It's love...despite his incorrigible behavior
Granted, deep down, all men are all but one in the same

^That's my favorite stanza.

;]


I like the ending as well.
It's very different and the concept is great. I like the way you structured it...
:]
Good job Kathleen!

[ryfitaDF]

i know how you feel. EFF people who want to bring you down. up with dignity!

[*Kathleen*]

Thanks you, too. Ack. This forum really is dead, isn't it.

[ComradeRed]

I dunno

[*Kathleen*]

Of course you know - you're the almighty Minda.

[ComradeRed]

Perhaps I do

[Ekay]

Thanks you, too. Ack. This forum really is dead, isn't it.

This forum isn't dead...yet anyways. But I have seen quite a number of new ppl joining in here. Oh yeah, good poem and keep up the good work

[ComradeRed]

Hmm I'm a poet myself, but more of the old structured style. Let me write one about drugs and I'll get back to you.

[ComradeRed]

'Twas a cold night in the darkest of lands,
When a tall strange man drove up to some bands,
"Surrender," said he, "those foul drugs are mine,"
"Nay," said a bandit, "while we're stuck in rhyme."

In all my journeys, encounters I've had,
Things have rarely, rarely been near this bad.

"Those substances do no good," said the man,
"But alas, we love them," the bandits ran!
"Hold," said he, "my name is Barry the King."
His name ran out with a resounding ring.

In all my journeys, encounters I've had,
Things have rarely, rarely been near this bad.

His long, dark suit, and tinted sunglasses,
Flew in the wind faster than molasses,
His subjects lined up, 'twas the bandits they faced,
Though surrounded, they continued to race.

In all my journeys, encounters I've had,
Things have rarely, rarely been near this bad.

But by now, the bandits were kept at bay,
The King said, "I'll make your families eat hay!"
"No longer will you have these drugs to use,"
"No longer will you have this choice to choose."

In all my journeys, encounters I've had,
Things have rarely, rarely been near this bad.

"Please," said the humblest bandit leader,
"Leave us in peace and we'll follow meter,"
"Not so," the King said and his subjects came,
Letting from their rifles a lethal rain.

In all my journeys, encounters I've had,
Things have rarely, rarely been near this bad.

Through the pass of years and the ruin of lives,
What could be more harmful than plants like chives?
Such rule by the King, great leader of all,
'Twas he ultimately that caused the fall.

In all my journeys, encounters I've had,
Things have rarely, rarely been near this bad.

[*Kathleen*]

Niiice, Minda. And thank you, Cloud.

[Ekay]

No problem. Oh by the way, name's Nguyen =]

[Gypsy Eyes]

nice, i really like it! and a great use of words, i had to use the dictionary for a few of them.

[ComradeRed]

No problem. Oh by the way, name's Nguyen =]

, James Nguyen.

[sikdragon]

In Amsterdam Hash, weed, and shrooms are all legal. For more danger prone drugs, the punishments are a lot harsher than that of the United States and yet they have maintained the least amount of drug addicts in all of europe since the time of which the laws were enstated.

"Marijuana isn't a drug. I sucked feet for coke! Have you ever sucked feet for weed?"

mrs.johnny depp- in my opinion, you killed any poetic notion with the vocabulary. on a better note, your free verse triply lined stanzas made your point, but failed to convey emotion in such a way that could relate to the standard reader.

comradered- Those rhyming couplets told the story quite well in the style of the great epics. bravo. although i do suggest, if you're to use this poem seriously, i suggest a rewrite to define the story rather than focusing so much on the rhyme scheme. put some time into it.

overall you guys did great.

[Ekay]

, James Nguyen.

Actually Nguyen happens to be my first name...

[ComradeRed]

Hehe, be that as it may, just the way you said it made it sound like James Bond.

[Ekay]

Oh I see. hahahah It does doesn't it? Well how come I never see you post your own topics ComradeRed?

[*Kathleen*]

That's because he's too lazy to. He prefers commenting and making fun of others.

[ComradeRed]

Oh I see. hahahah It does doesn't it? Well how come I never see you post your own topics ComradeRed?

I have a few... no one ever bothers reading them. Look for my abortion poem, I posted that as my own topic a little while ago.

[Spirited Away]

I have a few... no one ever bothers reading them. Look for my abortion poem, I posted that as my own topic a little while ago.

I read them... but I don't know how to response... remember the intimidation thing? Yea....

Oh, I like this poem Kathleen! The choice vocabulary is very fitting.

[ComradeRed]

Haha it's okay.

[ComradeRed]

That's because he's too lazy to. He prefers commenting and making fun of others.

That's because he's too lazy too. He prefers commenting and making fun of others.

Sorry. English papers bring out the grammar nazi in all of us.

[*Kathleen*]

No, that's correct. I was referring to how you don't post your own topics.

[heyyfrankie]

that was so good. i love the rhymes.

i didn't know you wrote poetry! very nice job!

[ComradeRed]

No, that's correct. I was referring to how you don't post your own topics.

Bah! I didn't notice the first "too"!